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how can I tell if he thinks I'm pretty? Or sexy etc?

Odinani

By Odinani
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Odinani Established Member

Odinani

Posted
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The man I am dating has never once told me I am pretty or complimented me on any aspect of my appearance.

 

He did once say that he'd seen a pic of a girl who looked like me in a magazine and then he quickly added "she was very beautiful."

 

But that's the only comment he's made that might suggest he thinks I'm pretty.

 

His actions suggest he finds me attractive, like he chased me hard, initiates dates constantly, is very attentive and interested in me as a person. On the 4th date he said "I really like you so much". But what does that even mean?

 

I'm feeling a bit insecure about whether he really fancies me or not:eek:

jam.over.jelly Established Member

jam.over.jelly

Posted
Posted

He might not be very good at giving out compliments. Boy my ex was just like that! I felt a bit insecure too, when we got more comfortable around each other I did ask him, and he was very surprised. He said "I thought you already know how beautiful you are, I didn't think you need any more assurance from me. I'm sorry". And he made the effort to let me know he thought I was beautiful. See, guys can be idiots sometimes.

  • Like 4
fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

Posted
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See, guys can be idiots sometimes.

 

Haha.. Women can be too.

 

They're always complaining about guys not being clear enough with words. Yet actions speak a lot louder than words don't they? I mean I'm guessing your boyfriend at the time was always in your orbit, planned/paid for dates, initiated affection, and constantly wanted sex. Yet you were insecure about how he felt and his attraction level?

mystikmind2005 Established Member

mystikmind2005

Posted
Posted

I think allot of men have learnt from experience that telling a woman she is beautiful puts them dangerously close to setting up a less than pure motivation in the woman's mind for saying it....

 

because women never think 'he just wants me for sex' lol

  • Like 2
katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted (edited)

 

I'm feeling a bit insecure about whether he really fancies me or not:eek:

 

Hmmm, how shall I phrase this....

 

 

Um, does he get a raging hard on while in your presence?

 

 

Dead giveaway... and trust me you'd know if he did!!

 

 

Kinda of a "hard" thing to hide if ya know what I mean...

 

 

Always worked for me!! :bunny::bunny:

Edited by katiegrl
  • Like 1
Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

Posted
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Yet you were insecure about how he felt and his attraction level?

 

Some people just recognize it differently maybe :confused:

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted
Hmmm, how shall I phrase this....

 

Um, does he get a raging hard on while in your presence?

 

Dead giveaway... and trust me you'd know if he did!!

 

Kinda of a "hard" thing to hide if ya know what I mean...

 

Always worked for me!! :bunny::bunny:

 

 

You guys might not take this ^^ seriously, but I AM dead serious.

 

 

Whenever a guy was super attracted to me, it was hard to hide what was going on inside the jeans....

 

 

We would even often laugh about it, like if he had to use the rest room or something, he'd tell me he'd have to wait a minute, and even then when he got up, it was hard to hide.

 

 

With my current this happened all the time when we first started dating.

 

 

He had a difficult time keeping "it" down!

 

 

Guys can you attest to this? When you find a chick super sexy and hot and you're super attracted?

 

 

Come on, be honest. It's a normal male response!

  • Like 1
joseb Established Member

joseb

Posted
Posted
You guys might not take this ^^ seriously, but I AM dead serious.

 

Whenever a guy was super attracted to me, it was hard to hide what was going on inside the jeans....

 

We would even often laugh about it, like if he had to use the rest room or something, he'd tell me he'd have to wait a minute, and even then when he got up, it was hard to hide.

 

With my current this happened all the time when we first started dating.

 

He had a difficult time keeping "it" down!

 

Guys can you attest to this? When you find a chick super sexy and hot and you're super attracted?

 

Come on, be honest. It's a normal male response!

 

LOL. This might have been the case when I was 19, but I think many years of wasted erections have 'taught' my fella not to always be up.

Now having said that, I still sometimes do get myself into situations like this with girls especially if I've recently started dating. I remember having to stay in the pool on a date for quite a while recently :)

 

But yeah if there is a little kissing or even sexy talk happening with a girl I really fancy, then yeah, she would be feel the evidence of my attraction easily enough :)

  • Like 2
joseb Established Member

joseb

Posted
Posted

To answer the OP, if you read through threads here you will find a lot of advice saying if a guy is complimenting you on physical appearance, he is probably just looking for sex.

 

Perhaps he is following this advice, or knows from experience that complimenting a woman on physical appearance often has a negative effect.

 

How long have you been going out? Have you had sex yet?

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted
LOL. This might have been the case when I was 19, but I think many years of wasted erections have 'taught' my fella not to always be up.

Now having said that, I still sometimes do get myself into situations like this with girls especially if I've recently started dating. I remember having to stay in the pool on a date for quite a while recently :)

 

But yeah if there is a little kissing or even sexy talk happening with a girl **I really fancy**, then yeah, she would be feel the evidence of my attraction easily enough :)

 

 

Ha! I rest my case. :p

  • Like 1
mystikmind2005 Established Member

mystikmind2005

Posted
Posted
You guys might not take this ^^ seriously, but I AM dead serious.

 

 

Whenever a guy was super attracted to me, it was hard to hide what was going on inside the jeans....

 

 

We would even often laugh about it, like if he had to use the rest room or something, he'd tell me he'd have to wait a minute, and even then when he got up, it was hard to hide.

 

 

With my current this happened all the time when we first started dating.

 

 

He had a difficult time keeping "it" down!

 

 

Guys can you attest to this? When you find a chick super sexy and hot and you're super attracted?

 

 

Come on, be honest. It's a normal male response!

 

I have never in my life got a hard on with a beautiful woman i was on a date with unless we started kissing.

 

It is probably why i have never cheated, because i can stay completely 'shut down' to attraction unless the situation is appropriate.

 

Just to emphasize this, one time i was with my ex wife (years ago when still together) at her friends place (a super hot Asian gal). She demonstrated her new pole dancing moves, and i even caught a glimpse of her super sexy red panties when she did the squat.... i broke out in a sweat, sure, but still no hard on!! lol

Guyouthere Established Member

Guyouthere

Posted
Posted

well call me old fashioned,… but I do and will tell a girl she is pretty, would be the first thing I say when I see her.

 

Thats just how I am.

 

If a woman gets offended by that, so be it. She wouldn't be the right one for me if she did. :)

jam.over.jelly Established Member

jam.over.jelly

Posted
Posted
You guys might not take this ^^ seriously, but I AM dead serious.

 

 

Whenever a guy was super attracted to me, it was hard to hide what was going on inside the jeans....

 

 

We would even often laugh about it, like if he had to use the rest room or something, he'd tell me he'd have to wait a minute, and even then when he got up, it was hard to hide.

 

 

With my current this happened all the time when we first started dating.

 

 

He had a difficult time keeping "it" down!

 

 

Guys can you attest to this? When you find a chick super sexy and hot and you're super attracted?

 

 

Come on, be honest. It's a normal male response!

 

The thing is it's not about him getting it up when he saw me. I mean, heck, my ex got a hard on when I just whispered to his ear! I knew he was attracted to me. But I still wanted to hear that he found me beautiful. Not hot, not sexy, but beautiful. Maybe I was spoiled by my ex before that. He would just look at me in the eye and tell me that I was the most lovely creature he ever laid eyes on. That always made me happy.

  • Like 2
Guyouthere Established Member

Guyouthere

Posted
Posted
The thing is it's not about him getting it up when he saw me. I mean, heck, my ex got a hard on when I just whispered to his ear! I knew he was attracted to me. But I still wanted to hear that he found me beautiful. Not hot, not sexy, but beautiful. Maybe I was spoiled by my ex before that. He would just look at me in the eye and tell me that I was the most lovely creature he ever laid eyes on. That always made me happy.

 

He was just referring to your jam over jelly.

 

hehehe

basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

I have to agree with the posters who say to look for other signs. Compliments from my hubby were (and still are) very rare indeed. But his actions left no doubt in my mind that he was attracted to me.

kpl Established Member

kpl

Posted
Posted

It's tough as a woman you don't want to feel like you need reassurance but I do. It would weird me out. If everything else was absolutely perfect. I would wait until the right moment and compliment him and see how he responds. But if I was half in, i'd let him go.

StBreton Established Member

StBreton

Posted
Posted

I'm personally not one to like a lot of verbal affirmations on my beauty ...I'm confident enough ...if he said it once that's all I need ...I'll file that away. What I do prefer are actions ...when we're out to a casual dinner and I'm wearing jeans ...if a guy pulls me close to him by my belt looks with a sexy grin ...that's adorable and I know he thinks I'm hot. If he reaches over and holds my hand while driving and looks over with a sweet sexy look ...that tells me all I need to know. I'm a quality time and acts of service type of love language girl though so OP ...if your top love language is words of affirmation ...then communicate that ...it doesn't matter what anyone else's love language is here ...what works for you is what works for you.

 

I AM wondering what love language a hard on falls into though ...is that act of service or words of affirmation (non verbal?) or ...? Lol

  • Like 6
kilgore Established Member

kilgore

Posted
Posted
He might not be very good at giving out compliments. Boy my ex was just like that! I felt a bit insecure too, when we got more comfortable around each other I did ask him, and he was very surprised. He said "I thought you already know how beautiful you are, I didn't think you need any more assurance from me. I'm sorry". And he made the effort to let me know he thought I was beautiful. See, guys can be idiots sometimes.

 

Totally. Guys need to remind ourselves not to be idiots constantly

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted
I'm personally not one to like a lot of verbal affirmations on my beauty ...I'm confident enough ...if he said it once that's all I need ...I'll file that away. What I do prefer are actions ...when we're out to a casual dinner and I'm wearing jeans ...if a guy pulls me close to him by my belt looks with a sexy grin ...that's adorable and I know he thinks I'm hot. If he reaches over and holds my hand while driving and looks over with a sweet sexy look ...that tells me all I need to know. I'm a quality time and acts of service type of love language girl though so OP ...if your top love language is words of affirmation ...then communicate that ...it doesn't matter what anyone else's love language is here ...what works for you is what works for you.

 

I AM wondering what love language a hard on falls into though ...is that act of service or words of affirmation (non verbal?) or ...? Lol

 

StBreton you and I must be kindred spirits cuz I am the exact same as you with respect to compliments on my beauty. In fact, too many turn me off! Words don't mean much to me tbh....

 

My love language is quality time, so when my fiance gives me his undivided attention, listens to me and talks to me, spends time with me, I am one very happy young lady!

 

I don't know what a hard on would fall under ...maybe none of them unless we act on it, in which case it would be an *act of service*! Lol

 

Which would actually be my second love language.... I place a lot of value on actions and *doing.*

 

But compliments? Don't need them. I am very secure in my beauty, and I know my fiance finds me beautiful, that's enough for me...

 

jams I wonder if your love language is words of affirmation .... since you place a lot of value on verbal affirmations and compliments.

 

You need a man who shares that love language and/or understands it....

  • Like 2
kilgore Established Member

kilgore

Posted
Posted
StBreton you and I must be kindred spirits cuz I am the exact same as you with respect to compliments on my beauty. In fact, too many turn me off! Words don't mean much to me tbh....

 

My love language is quality time, so when my fiance gives me his undivided attention, listens to me and talks to me, spends time with me, I am one very happy young lady!

 

I don't know what a hard on would fall under ...maybe none of them unless we act on it, in which case it would be an *act of service*! Lol

 

Which would actually be my second love language.... I place a lot of value on actions and *doing.*

 

But compliments? Don't need them. I am very secure in my beauty, and I know my fiance finds me beautiful, that's enough for me...

 

jams I wonder if your love language is words of affirmation .... since you place a lot of value on verbal affirmations and compliments.

 

You need a man who shares that love language and/or understands it....

We all need affirmations, but they can be in different forms

  • Like 1
jam.over.jelly Established Member

jam.over.jelly

Posted
Posted

jams I wonder if your love language is words of affirmation .... since you place a lot of value on verbal affirmations and compliments.

 

You need a man who shares that love language and/or understands it....

 

I think I want a bit of both. I don't need constant reminder from my lover that he thinks I'm beautiful, but once in a while out of nowhere especially when I least expect it is always nice. More often than not, my ex didn't compliment me when I was all done up, his actions rather spoke louder. But when I had no make up on and just cuddled up in his arms, wearing my pjs, he would look me in the eye and tell me I was beautiful. That always warmed my heart.

  • Like 1
kilgore Established Member

kilgore

Posted
Posted
I think I want a bit of both. I don't need constant reminder from my lover that he thinks I'm beautiful, but once in a while out of nowhere especially when I least expect it is always nice. More often than not, my ex didn't compliment me when I was all done up, his actions rather spoke louder. But when I had no make up on and just cuddled up in his arms, wearing my pjs, he would look me in the eye and tell me I was beautiful. That always warmed my heart.

 

Agreed. The unexpected compliments are the best

  • Like 1
katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted
I think I want a bit of both. I don't need constant reminder from my lover that he thinks I'm beautiful, but once in a while out of nowhere especially when I least expect it is always nice. More often than not, my ex didn't compliment me when I was all done up, his actions rather spoke louder. But when I had no make up on and just cuddled up in his arms, wearing my pjs, he would look me in the eye and tell me I was beautiful. That always warmed my heart.

 

Yeah my fiance feels the same, thinks I look the most beautiful and sexy when I first wake up in the morn!

 

Hair all disheveled, sleepy eyes....

 

I also get approached more when I am dressed down....hair in pony, no makeup (literally), jeans and tee.

 

Go figure....

  • Like 1
katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted
We all need affirmations, but they can be in different forms

 

I agree but for me, he can save the "sweet talk" and I mean that. Doesn't do a thing for me, seriously. Never did. And if a guy were to lay it on thick on our first date, ugh, there would be no second date.... major turnnoff, for me.

 

I am ALL about his actions and doing .....

  • Like 1
kilgore Established Member

kilgore

Posted
Posted
I agree but for me, he can save the "sweet talk" and I mean that. Doesn't do a thing for me, seriously. Never did. And if a guy were to lay it on thick on our first date, ugh, there would be no second date.... major turnnoff, for me.

 

I am ALL about his actions and doing .....

 

Well, on a first date is icky

  • Like 2
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