SandraTempleton Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 So, I went on a date last night with someone I've been talking to. We matched on Coffee Meets Bagel (the app I use) and have been messaging for about a week. He seems really cool and we have a lot of common interests (education, learning new languages, dogs, hiking etc...) but I just don't feel any sort of romantic spark. And I can't imagine there becoming one. For what it's worth, he is attractive it's not that. That being said, he seems really nice and I can imagine myself being friends with him. I actually think he'd get along well with my friends group. He's also new to my city. At the end of our coffee date last night he made it clear that he wants to see me again. I don't know if I should just give the second date a try and if I don't feel any connection then offer to be friends? I don't want to hurt his ego. And I mentioned this before but I wouldn't offer to be someone's friend if I didn't mean it. Friends pick each other up from the airport at inopportune times, they listen to the same story about your ex multiple times, and are just there for you. And I could actually see being his friend, just not his girlfriend. Thoughts?
mystikmind2005 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Take it one step at a time.... The first date is more of a fact finding mission isn't it? Just there to determine they are not crazy or something rite? Improve the trust level so your both more comfortable with each other. Did he pass that test? Ok, next date then! 1
fitnessfan365 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 No guy just wants to be friends. So NEVER say that to one. It's better just to go with your first intuition. You know what gets your panties wet, and this guy isn't it. I mean the first date is out of curiosity. But the second date is by choice. So by choosing to accept, you'd be saying you're interested when you're clearly not. My advice? Just be honest and say what you did here. Send a quick text saying - " I don't feel like we'd make a good romantic fit. But best of luck to you!" 3
neowulf Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Thoughts? It's hard, but dating really is just a numbers game. There are many, MANY people out there for you to meet. A lot of them will be really great people. They just won't be right for you. Wait for the one you feel a "click" with. Don't waste each others time trying to make something work that clearly isn't going to.
joseb Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 If I was the guy, I would not want you to string me along on another date if you felt no connection. Generally speaking, I agree, I'm not that interested in having more female friends, but perhaps if he is new to the city he may be open to that.
SwordofFlame Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 No guy just wants to be friends. So NEVER say that to one. It's better just to go with your first intuition. You know what gets your panties wet, and this guy isn't it. I mean the first date is out of curiosity. But the second date is by choice. So by choosing to accept, you'd be saying you're interested when you're clearly not. My advice? Just be honest and say what you did here. Send a quick text saying - " I don't feel like we'd make a good romantic fit. But best of luck to you!" I pretty much agree. Don't agree to a second date.
Author SandraTempleton Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 As we were getting up to leave from meeting for coffee he asked to see me again. He made it clear that he will be out of town this next weekend and that he wants to see me when he's back. I agreed because I didn't want to be rude and as I said I can imagine him being my friend. I appreciate the insights into the male mind from you lovely gentlemen Should I wait until he texts me again asking to hang out and then say I would like to do that but what if it's just as friends? I really do not want and or intend to string him along.
kpl Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I would definitely go on a second date and at least try to see if something can grow. Not sure why you aren't interested but I personally spent a long time being attracted to the wrong things - unavailable men and I needed to always do a second date just to make sure. If it's a decent guy who you like spending time with a second date won't hurt. Just take time to try to get to know him. I highly doubt your intuition is that intuned that you could really see nothing happening. If you aren't repulsed by someone I say take the time to get to know them. 1-3 dates doesn't hurt anyone. 2
kpl Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 As we were getting up to leave from meeting for coffee he asked to see me again. He made it clear that he will be out of town this next weekend and that he wants to see me when he's back. I agreed because I didn't want to be rude and as I said I can imagine him being my friend. I appreciate the insights into the male mind from you lovely gentlemen Should I wait until he texts me again asking to hang out and then say I would like to do that but what if it's just as friends? I really do not want and or intend to string him along. if you don't mind me asking what was it about this guy that you didnt find attractive.
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