Interracial dating

[Odinani]

I am British/African and the man I am dating is Italian. Not long ago while on a date with him, he went off to the bathroom and immediately he'd gone a young black man approached me and said he was "disgusted" to see me out with a white man.

 

In addition to this incident I've been glared at in the most horrible way on two occasions by black men (strangers) in the street while out with the man I'm seeing.

 

I find it really upsetting and I am wondering if there is anything I can do about it?

[jam.over.jelly]

You really shouldn't let it bother you. They are ignorant people.

[Odinani]

You really shouldn't let it bother you. They are ignorant people.

 

it makes me feel really uncomfortable. I suppose I may have to get used to it.

[sandylee1]

Ignore their stupid ignorance. They obviously have very sad lives to be spouting off to a total stranger.

[SammySammy]

Ignorance abounds.

 

You and your boyfriend will most likely face opposition from a variety of stupid people. Both of you are going to have to find a way to deal with it in a way that doesn't jeopardize your relationship.

[jam.over.jelly]

it makes me feel really uncomfortable. I suppose I may have to get used to it.

 

I can relate. My ex is Italian/Irish, and I'm Asian. I dated him for 3 years, and every single Christmas I came over his family, his grandma would stare me up and down. She wouldn't exchange any gifts with me because "Asian people don't celebrate Christmas", and when she cooked, she wouldn't cook for me because "Asian people don't eat pasta". :rolleyes:

 

I just laughed it off really. They don't know any better.

[Odinani]

I can relate. My ex is Italian/Irish, and I'm Asian. I dated him for 3 years, and every single Christmas I came over his family, his grandma would stare me up and down. She wouldn't exchange any gifts with me because "Asian people don't celebrate Christmas", and when she cooked, she wouldn't cook for me because "Asian people don't eat pasta". :rolleyes:

 

I just laughed it off really. They don't know any better.

 

That is so horrible! Did your ex not say anything to her about it?

 

[jam.over.jelly]

That is so horrible! Did your ex not say anything to her about it?

 

 

He did! But it ended up with him not talking to his grandma so I told him not to make a big deal about it, she was just old and prejudiced. He felt horrible and was ashamed of how she treated me, and compensated me a lot for it which I loved. Haha. So really I tried not let it bother me. I dated him, not his grandma.

[Miss Peach]

I have dated across a few races. One mom was pretty hard on mebecause I wasn't from the same country as them. Funny thing is she couldn't really come up with a good reason. She used to tell my BF to break up with me because my boobs are too big.

 

I agree with the others in that it's going to be something your BF and you will have to adjust to and support each other through.

[thecrucible]

I dated a guy from India (he was born in Britain) for a couple of years. No one batted an eyelid but a few silly people thought he was Muslim because of his darker skin colour. but he is Christian. But really no one cared. I'm sorry to hear you've had experiences like that, OP.

 

Certain issues did crop up between us due to cultural differences. I also thought he felt uncomfortable about the fact that as a European white woman I can't relate to the experience of being an minority race (he would bring this up with me from time to time).

 

PS this is really interesting:

 

Interracial Couples Share The Insults They?ve Experienced In Insightful Photo Series

[Mrlonelyone]

Last woman I dated was an Irish Italian mix and her family was... very good to me. It was a lot like was described by Shakespeare right here.

 

 

It was certain friends of hers that caused the most issues. Would speak to me or about me in a really ignorant way. She would at times defend me and at times not. In the end we did not last much.

 

There is a very real pressure applied to interracial couples if not from family then from friends. I would even go as far as to say... a gay or lesbian couple does not get it as bad. I am bi, and have been in LG looking couplings. Never had a problem like I did dating that ex.

 

TL;DR: It is sadly normal for interracial couples to face criticism. It takes great fortitude to go against the grain that way.

[savvy2008]

I've never understood the issue with races. I don't think you can do anything aside from growing a really thick skin so it doesn't bother you anymore. Easier said than done though. I've dated lots of different guys; white, black, Spanish.

 

 

I'm dating a Puerto Rican man and we recently attended a wedding with 100 or so people. Him and one other man were Hispanic, the rest were white and most were country/rednecks. We got a lot of stares. I don't even realize we are "interracial" until someone points it out. Some people are ignorant.

[missk803]

As someone who is dating outside of my own race, I totally understand where you're coming from and I live in the south, so just imagine how that can be at times. I've been called names and approached by black men asking why I was with a white man (not in such a nice way, might I add) and I would get these reactions even if me and the guy in question weren't even dating. I admit, when I first actually started dating interracially, the stares and snide side comments made me a little uncomfortable and walking around a group of black men while with the guy I was dating didn't make it any better because we were almost guaranteed to get stopped and asked an ignorant question that wouldn't have been asked if my boyfriend had also been black. Now, none of that stuff really gets to me. Thinking about my awful past dating experiences and seeing how much happier I am right now has made me flat out not care about what other people think and I refuse to let some stranger dictate my life and give their opinions on who I should and shouldn't be dating. The rude, ignorant questions will get rude responses. I've also realized that since I've stopped thinking about it, the comments and stares have seemed to disappear...I don't notice it anymore when we're out in public.