simon_uk Posted May 22, 2005 Posted May 22, 2005 Some of you may know my situation, basically my ex ended things with me about two mnths ago as far as I know because I did not commit as soon as she would have liked, maybe other things but she said she lost faith so.......... Anyhow I tried to get back with her after I had left her for a week, no luck. So i left her for a further three weeks then sent her a letter explaining my thoughts and feelings for her and why I felt things went wrong. there was no blame, no begging, no pleading, just honest thoughts and feelings. Two days later she plays a love song on my voice mail at 4AM. Two days after this I call her and ask her to marry me. She says no! She is very hostile and abusive to me. Then I get a text from her saying, shame you didnt want it when I loved you that much and shame it took you two days to react to the voice mail. She said she thought we could be friends but I will come and get my stuff asap. Four weeks later she still hasn't contacted me regarding her stuff. She is going on a cruise next Friday with her friend, so I guess her thoughts are on that? Besides she owes me money so maybe she doesnt want to contact me before she goes away in case I want it back? Anyway, my question is this. Do you think that maybe she wants me to prove I love her by continually and consistently showing my love, i.e by keep asking her back so she knows for sure I really want her. I mean I asked her to marry me but she may just think that was a knee jerk reaction. I have remained in NC for 4 weeks now and have no intention of calling her but do you think this is just reaffirming to her that I never really wanted her or do you think what I did and said is enough to prove I want her. I am not caving in and like I say I will NOT contact her if that is the ebst thing to do but I am just questioning whether it is the best thing to do or i should be trying to make an effort more? Thank You
floydgondoli Posted May 22, 2005 Posted May 22, 2005 The only thing that will get this girl back will be if you move on and start a fresh life without her...She has rejected what you are offering now... I'm sure she would love it if you kept chasing after her...But it will not get her to come back to you... If you want to prove you love this girl, start by proving that you love yourself first and foremost...Do not contact her, get to know yourself better, understand why you are at this place in your life, and work on improving the quality of your life... If someone loves you, they will do almost anything to be with you...Don't settle for anything less... I wish you the best of luck...
johan Posted May 22, 2005 Posted May 22, 2005 Originally posted by simon_uk Anyway, my question is this. Do you think that maybe she wants me to prove I love her by continually and consistently showing my love, i.e by keep asking her back so she knows for sure I really want her. I mean I asked her to marry me but she may just think that was a knee jerk reaction. I have remained in NC for 4 weeks now and have no intention of calling her but do you think this is just reaffirming to her that I never really wanted her or do you think what I did and said is enough to prove I want her. Thank You If she wanted you to do those things, then she would be responding in a way that encourages it. If she were to pull the trick you're suggesting and leave you hanging and trying to read her mind all the time, how could you ever succeed in a relationship with her anyway. Assuming you're right, I'd think you'd need someone who were more open and able to communicate. Assuming you're wrong, which you are, your best bet is to stay out of touch and do what you can to move on emotionally as soon as you can.
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