Rejected 3 times in a row.

[bettermistakes]

Another great article about rejection.

https://territrespicio.com/get-rejected-more-youre-not-doing-it-enough/

[Guyouthere]

Thanks everyone for your comments. I guess I'm being such a baby about it all, I shouldn't let this get to me. Silly me! I have my moments apparently . But I'm over it. I know my worth, and I know any guy would be lucky to have me. I just gotta be patient. Hope everyone's having a wonderful day so far. Woooooo!

 

Celebrate the joyful realization with a nice plate of smoked fish

[EricaH329]

Hey love! Don't have much to contribute other than saying you are awesome and beautiful! Even the best of us get 'rejected' sometimes.

 

Keep being the amazing person you are, and someone will appreciate it!

[jam.over.jelly]

Hey love! Don't have much to contribute other than saying you are awesome and beautiful! Even the best of us get 'rejected' sometimes.

 

Keep being the amazing person you are, and someone will appreciate it!

 

Aww, I just wanna give you a big big hug!!!!!!!

[Shining One]

Because I did get rejected THREE TIMES in only 2 weeks.

With each rejection, it gets easier. I was rejected fifteen times in a single night once. I went home with number sixteen though.

[thecrucible]

Sending hugs your way

 

I know this doesn't really compare but at least they didn't string you along or anything. It's like they left a space for a better guy to fill.

[joseb]

JOJ, it sounds like you weren't into any of these guys, so I don't know why you feel bad about them not wanting another date. Would you rather they pester you and you have to reject them??

 

Look, if you were not flirting with them and showing some interest, you can't really expect them to want to pursue you. You might be very good looking, but that's not always enough to make guys (especially as they mature a bit) chase you if they think there is no interest there.

 

Also, I think you may be cramming in too many dates at the same time, meaning you aren't really present for any of them.

Personally, I tried dating many girls in a short period of time and found I couldn't really focus on any or enjoy it. Now I limit it to one new one a week tops.

[Krieger]

I have a bad habit of doing that to woman I dont mean to BTW. I just get so wrapped up in other things.

[thecrucible]

JOJ, it sounds like you weren't into any of these guys, so I don't know why you feel bad about them not wanting another date. Would you rather they pester you and you have to reject them??

 

Look, if you were not flirting with them and showing some interest, you can't really expect them to want to pursue you. You might be very good looking, but that's not always enough to make guys (especially as they mature a bit) chase you if they think there is no interest there.

 

Also, I think you may be cramming in too many dates at the same time, meaning you aren't really present for any of them.

Personally, I tried dating many girls in a short period of time and found I couldn't really focus on any or enjoy it. Now I limit it to one new one a week tops.

 

You're so right. If you're on the ball with JOJ, I had the exact same experience. I got too cocky and surprised that guys didn't pursue me more. I thought they'd give me more time to open up. Plus when you do have a lot of dates, it's hard to be fully present. I try and limit mine so I don't feel emotionally overwhelmed. JOJ, I don't know if you feel this but sometimes I feel like I have to go on loads of dates because of FOMO and wanting to be open-minded and getting impatient with the process. But it can end up quite draining.

[Ami1uwant]

Remember you have dated 5 guys in 2 weeks...how many dates do you think these guys had????

 

Each person ranks their dates to what they want/how they feel....

 

You aren't going to be on every guys top list.

 

It doesn't mean you find something wrong....you may not have clicked with the guys.

 

With 2 you said you didn't feel it...you may have carried yourself as uninterested which then made them say screw it.

 

What happened on the guy you were interested in who didn't have a 2nd???

[Odinani]

So this never happened to me. In the past, almost every single date I went on, the guy called me back for a 2nd date. There were a few times they didn't call me, but it was rare. However recently I met 5 guys over the last 2 weeks, only 2 asked me out again, to which I said no. So 3 guys rejected me in the span of 2 weeks. OUCH! I was interested in one of them, the other 2, not so much. But regardless of the fact that I wasn't even interested in them, not having them ask me out again is kind of a slap in the face. That makes my confidence level go wayyyy down. Although I know I really shouldn't feel this way, and I know not every guy I meet will be into me. However, this is all new to me, being rejected that much in that short amount of time? I can't help but feeling puzzled. Even the guy I went out with yesterday, whom I definitely didn't wanna see again, texted me this morning just to reject me "I had a great time, however I don't think you are what I'm looking for". Wtf? I don't think I'm doing anything wrong, I was being myself, and I think I'm attractive. But maybe I did do something wrong? Who knows? Because I did get rejected THREE TIMES in only 2 weeks. Sorry guys, I just needed to vent.

 

I saw your pic on here recently and you are very pretty. The guy who texted you to say you are not what he is looking for.....what does he mean? What is he looking for? What was he like himself?

[jam.over.jelly]

JOJ, it sounds like you weren't into any of these guys, so I don't know why you feel bad about them not wanting another date. Would you rather they pester you and you have to reject them??

 

Look, if you were not flirting with them and showing some interest, you can't really expect them to want to pursue you. You might be very good looking, but that's not always enough to make guys (especially as they mature a bit) chase you if they think there is no interest there.

 

Also, I think you may be cramming in too many dates at the same time, meaning you aren't really present for any of them.

Personally, I tried dating many girls in a short period of time and found I couldn't really focus on any or enjoy it. Now I limit it to one new one a week tops.

 

I know it is very silly of me to get upset about this. Although I'm not sure if "upset" is even the right word. More like, "bothered".

I have never had such string of bad luck before, 3 in a row is more than usual for me. It kind of hurts my ego for a bit there. However, I snap out of it. It was just a silly moment of me

 

I do agree with you, I tend to have way too many dates planned out, only because I think why waste time messaging back and forth when I can just meet the guys and see if we click in person. More often than not the texting and messaging doesn't say much about someone's personality.

 

You're so right. If you're on the ball with JOJ, I had the exact same experience. I got too cocky and surprised that guys didn't pursue me more. I thought they'd give me more time to open up. Plus when you do have a lot of dates, it's hard to be fully present. I try and limit mine so I don't feel emotionally overwhelmed. JOJ, I don't know if you feel this but sometimes I feel like I have to go on loads of dates because of FOMO and wanting to be open-minded and getting impatient with the process. But it can end up quite draining.

 

That was how I feel! But how selfish of me to want them to still pursue me when I clearly am not interested . I decided to take a break from dating, OLD or not, I feel like my attitude towards dating right now is rather pessimistic, and for that reason, I should hit pause.

[jam.over.jelly]

I saw your pic on here recently and you are very pretty. The guy who texted you to say you are not what he is looking for.....what does he mean? What is he looking for? What was he like himself?

 

I wish I knew! I didn't bother texting him back and asked. I guess the chemistry wasn't there. Can't think of any other reason, because he asked me out in person after seeing me at a coffee shop, so I doubt that he felt "catfished".

[hudson701]

Ugh... Couldn't you have just contacted them yourselves? I mean, you women like to preach equality and all, so put yourself out there like men do everyday and make a call?

[Maggie4]

They didn't want to know more about you, and you're not bad looking, and these "rejections" didn't happen before, then something is wrong.

I think along the lines of what joseb said. Maybe you became like a dating machine, on automatic. It's good to take a break, then start fresh.

[lino]

Now imagine decades or even a lifetime of that. It's the reality of many men.

 

You've won the lottery in comparison.

[casey.lives]

if you want to date.. men need to feel needed. instead of asking for "him" ..ask for his help.

[katiegrl]

if you want to date.. men need to feel needed. instead of asking for "him" ..ask for his help.

 

What, so he can feel like your handyman instead of a guy you're interested in romantically?

 

 

I would wait on that stuff....

 

 

jams come on there are ways, plus I think when you are really feelin it with a guy, your body language, your eyes, etc. are all just gonna reflect that naturally....

 

No need to do or say a thing... it's all in the way you look at him, the way you automatically mirror him, move closer.... how you're connecting with him (and vice versa).... this stuff is all instinctual when there is genuine chemistry, we click with each other and we're super attracted.

 

 

You just weren't "feelin it," which is okay. They weren't either. That is ALL this is, no need to take any of it personally.

Edited October 21, 2015 by katiegrl

[jam.over.jelly]

What, so he can feel like your handyman instead of a guy you're interested in romantically?

 

 

I would wait on that stuff....

 

 

jams come on there are ways, plus I think when you are really feelin it with a guy, your body language, your eyes, etc. are all just gonna reflect that naturally....

 

No need to do or say a thing... it's all in the way you look at him, the way you automatically mirror him, move closer.... how you're connecting with him (and vice versa).... this stuff is all instinctual when there is genuine chemistry, we click with each other and we're super attracted.

 

 

You just weren't "feelin it," which is okay. They weren't either. That is ALL this is, no need to take any of it personally.

 

Yea you're spot on! I do realize that i ONLY flirt with guys I'm attracted to (physically and mentally), I find myself leaning in, touching his forearm, running my fingers through my hair, etc. With guys I'm indifferent about, I still smile a lot but my body language is distant. And I do all of those things subconsciously

[joseb]

Yea you're spot on! I do realize that i ONLY flirt with guys I'm attracted to (physically and mentally), I find myself leaning in, touching his forearm, running my fingers through my hair, etc. With guys I'm indifferent about, I still smile a lot but my body language is distant. And I do all of those things subconsciously

 

So really, you just need to reframe this a bit..,

 

You didn't "get rejected" - you went on a few dates and none of them were a match.

 

Were you very interested in the guys from their profiles (did you think they looked attractive, sounded like a match?)

[jam.over.jelly]

So really, you just need to reframe this a bit..,

 

You didn't "get rejected" - you went on a few dates and none of them were a match.

 

Were you very interested in the guys from their profiles (did you think they looked attractive, sounded like a match?)

 

Yes I was attracted to their pictures, and they looked just like that in person so I was pleased when I first saw them. However, because I didn't really communicate with them much through texting (both met from Tinder), I couldn't feel their vibe before meeting. I also have learned from previous experience that texting and messaging could indicate nothing about their personality so I give people the benefit of the doubt. But when I met them in person there wasn't the spark or chemistry. The dates weren't bad at all, but I was left feeling mehh. And it was apparently mutual.

[katiegrl]

Yes I was attracted to their pictures, and they looked just like that in person so I was pleased when I first saw them. However, because I didn't really communicate with them much through texting (both met from Tinder), I couldn't feel their vibe before meeting. I also have learned from previous experience that texting and messaging could indicate nothing about their personality so I give people the benefit of the doubt. But when I met them in person there wasn't the spark or chemistry. The dates weren't bad at all, but I was left feeling mehh. And it was apparently mutual.

 

When the chemistry is right and you're really clicking, your energies will be bouncing off each other!!

 

 

Many people who have experienced this would NEVER settle for anything less.

 

 

I read a story last year about a guy who met something like 80 women from POF before meeting the one woman he wanted to develop a RL with. He KNEW what genuine chemistry felt like and he wouldn't settle for less.

 

 

He married her a year later....

 

 

Yah it's a numbers game!!

[joseb]

Yes I was attracted to their pictures, and they looked just like that in person so I was pleased when I first saw them. However, because I didn't really communicate with them much through texting (both met from Tinder), I couldn't feel their vibe before meeting. I also have learned from previous experience that texting and messaging could indicate nothing about their personality so I give people the benefit of the doubt. But when I met them in person there wasn't the spark or chemistry. The dates weren't bad at all, but I was left feeling mehh. And it was apparently mutual.

OK, so you did nothing wrong (apart from possible having too many dates at the same time, but even then it's not like you were running from one date to the next, right?)

I agree, messaging only gives you a little info, you have to meet the person to see if there is something.

Maybe treat these first 'dates' more like initial meets, where you don't commit too much time or effort or invest too much emotionally, and then if there is a spark, arrange a real date.

 

The other thing is if they are on Tinder, they may just be looking for hookups, and if they see you are not up for that, they may lose interest.

[jam.over.jelly]

When the chemistry is right and you're really clicking, your energies will be bouncing off each other!!

 

 

Many people who have experienced this would NEVER settle for anything less.

 

 

I read a story last year about a guy who met something like 80 women from POF before meeting the one woman he wanted to develop a RL with. He KNEW what genuine chemistry felt like and he wouldn't settle for less.

 

 

He married her a year later....

 

 

Yah it's a numbers game!!

 

Wow! That is seriously blowing my mind. EIGHTY WOMEN? That is a lot of time and effort. But you're right, I wouldn't want to settle for anything less either.

[jam.over.jelly]

OK, so you did nothing wrong (apart from possible having too many dates at the same time, but even then it's not like you were running from one date to the next, right?)

I agree, messaging only gives you a little info, you have to meet the person to see if there is something.

Maybe treat these first 'dates' more like initial meets, where you don't commit too much time or effort or invest too much emotionally, and then if there is a spark, arrange a real date.

 

The other thing is if they are on Tinder, they may just be looking for hookups, and if they see you are not up for that, they may lose interest.

 

No, definitely not one date after each other

I think Tinder gets a bad rep for being a hookup site, but guys will treat me the way I represent myself on it. If my pictures are of me showing my cleavage, and everything else indicating I'm looking for a hookup then yes, they'd certainly take me up on my offer. However my profile is far from that. And those guys have expressed their intentions of not looking for just sex. And I believe them because they were all behaving like gentlemen. I agree with you though about not committing too much time or effort in the first meet, I really should just stick to a drink or two or coffee, and keep it short.