Guyouthere Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 I'm 49 and typically go for younger women, and do so because I am extremely active and fit, and I simply need that in my life, and need my partner to be as well. My last girl was 24, soon to be 25. Some might think that too much of an age difference, but she passed herself off as someone at my "level" mentally as well as I also admired her ambition and fitness. Unfortunately it was all a show that a narcissist puts on, and when it came down to it, and when I expected her to love me/show interest in my life, she hauled to her new source . Would I date older than that? Yes. It depends on the person. Like I said, there are 2 things I look for (first). I am like you, not attracted to someone in their 50s or 60s. I simply can't do it. I do need at least my age or younger. I am just wired that way. I think a lot of guys are. It isn't like I can't find one…. I haven't been on the dating scene for very long at all, having been married 15+ years, then 2 "relationships" since (second to last one was really just a friendship where she wanted more). You should be confident that if you know you have what women want, you will get one in your life. I don't worry because I know what I have to offer, and I am fully confident that God is saving me up for that one who will just snatch me up and never let me go. Treat women with respect, love, and the right one will appreciate it very much. I just haven't found that yet. Looks like you haven't either.
StBreton Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 The "second" youth of guys in their 40s/early 50s ...it's reached epic proportions in my location ...I too think you nailed this one No Go 1
empresario Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Hello LS people I'm not sure if I'm in the right section for this. I've had a lot of problems dating the past few years. A few things here and there but nothing worth talking about. I have to start by saying I have no problems meeting women but it's been a long time since I've met someone I have a great deal of mutual chemistry with. The biggest issue is that I am never, never attracted to women my own age. I find we are so different. I am a 47 yr old man. I'm in shape, active and look young for my age. Additionally, the women who are attracted to me, the ones who are forward anyway, most often ARE women older then me. Women in there 50's. The women I am usually attracted to are 10 or more yrs younger but they rarely look my way these days. I fear that the way things are going I won't meet someone. Not sure if I'm looking for advise here or just venting..... You and every other man. We are programmed to want young, beautiful women. But let me tell you this: beauty fades. As a business owner and entrepreneur, I see myself and my time as an investment. Every day I'm alive my personal equity grows, both financially and otherwise. So, as someone that is constantly increasing my worth, why would I put all of my happiness into something (read: beauty) that is constantly DECREASING in equity? It makes no sense. Please take a second and decide what attracts you to someone that has nothing to do with your sexuality. Start there. 1
StBreton Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 I've dated guys 5 yrs younger than myself who were not nearly as fit or active as I guyoutthere ...just can't judge a book by its publication date. 2
Blanco Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Reminds me of a Dave Barry line from one of his books: But does this mean, as an aging person, you're no longer capable of feeling the lust you felt as an 18-year-old? Not at all! You're attracted just as strongly as you ever were toward 18-year-olds! The problem is that everyone your own age seems repulsive.
Guyouthere Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 I've dated guys 5 yrs younger than myself who were not nearly as fit or active as I guyoutthere ...just can't judge a book by its publication date. Well I seriously want you to come to Florida and see if you can haul in a 600 pound grouper. hehehe Because I'll put you up to it. 1
StBreton Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 You and every other man. We are programmed to want young, beautiful women. But let me tell you this: beauty fades. As a business owner and entrepreneur, I see myself and my time as an investment. Every day I'm alive my personal equity grows, both financially and otherwise. So, as someone that is constantly increasing my worth, why would I put all of my happiness into something (read: beauty) that is constantly DECREASING in equity? It makes no sense. Please take a second and decide what attracts you to someone that has nothing to do with your sexuality. Start there. Nice analogy Empresario! investing in a deprecating asset won't build your net worth ...that beautiful youthful girlfriend you're looking for may leave you in 10 yrs for a younger man ...when you're quite a bit older ...invest in quality ...think long term
Guyouthere Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 I've dated guys 5 yrs younger than myself who were not nearly as fit or active as I guyoutthere ...just can't judge a book by its publication date. But seriously though…. You saw something in them that caught your attention, something you were attracted to besides fitness, which is a good thing. But, consider that if you are highly active, and your partner isn't, it can cause issues in the relationship. Wouldn't you want someone to can keep up with you in all or most ways? There are going to be differences of course, like I won't expose my lady to diving the side of a navigation channel to get the goods out there, because it is too dangerous. I would like to have someone to dive with, at least at what she felt comfortable with. That is just an example. It comes down to shared goals and shared interests in life too. I was ready to leave the USA one day for that last girl, and would haven had she been stable and truly what I thought she was. I had already started to think about how she could reach the goals she wanted to have, and think of specifics of how I could help her get there. Thats what relationship are about.
Guyouthere Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Well I seriously want you to come to Florida and see if you can haul in a 600 pound grouper. hehehe Because I'll put you up to it. It is even more fun to do it from a 13 foot boat.
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Nice analogy Empresario! investing in a deprecating asset won't build your net worth ...that beautiful youthful girlfriend you're looking for may leave you in 10 yrs for a younger man ...when you're quite a bit older ...invest in quality ...think long term I'm sure Empresario meant well in his post but as an "older" woman it kind of made me feel like I'm second place The last thing I want is a man my age looking over his shoulder feeling like he might have settled for a safe bet. I'm an investment worth banking on from the start, PERIOD.
Author bohica Posted October 20, 2015 Author Posted October 20, 2015 There are woman who look younger but your age ... Just don't discount them because you dream of a woman who is 10 yrs younger ...in the long run you might be happier with someone close to your age. Maybe I didn't emphasize enough or you missed it. I don't dream of being with a younger women. It isn't a matter of wanting a younger women for the sake of being with a younger women. This isn't a conquest for me. I don't discount women my age. I'm just never attracted to women my age or older. That said, I am never mutually attracted to women my age or older that show interest in me. Lately, it seems that is all that is attracted to me and I am frustrated with not finding a women I am mutually attracted to.
fitnessfan365 Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Do you know what percentage of people say that? Sorry... Haha.. True. But you don't know if he's basing that on his own opinion, or the opinions of others. I'm turning 35 soon. So no one ever believes me when they find out my age. I've even had to show my ID as proof..LOL The general consensus is that I'm in the 26-28 range. That's why I'll say that I can pass for younger. Maybe he's had similar experiences. I'm the opposite of the OP though. I prefer women that are older and don't relate to women younger than me. Just the other day a girl that looked like she was early 20's tops was giving me strong eye contact and smiling. She was beautiful/fit but it made me feel awkward. My GF saw her looking too and said under her breath "Don't be staring at my boyfriend". Her jealousy actually made my day.
Author bohica Posted October 20, 2015 Author Posted October 20, 2015 I'm sure Empresario meant well in his post but as an "older" woman it kind of made me feel like I'm second place The last thing I want is a man my age looking over his shoulder feeling like he might have settled for a safe bet. I'm an investment worth banking on from the start, PERIOD. AND the last thing I want IS to be looking over my shoulder. ; )
empresario Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 I'm sure Empresario meant well in his post but as an "older" woman it kind of made me feel like I'm second place The last thing I want is a man my age looking over his shoulder feeling like he might have settled for a safe bet. I'm an investment worth banking on from the start, PERIOD. Michelle, I meant no offense by my post, you're right. There is just a very clear, genetic desire for most men to find young, fertile women. It's biology/science. By fighting our own instincts (don't let some men fool you, we can act with civility and refinement...most just choose not to) we can begin by finding the beauty of a person based on chemistry. And chemistry with someone makes you happy. Finding someone to be beautiful skin-deep does not. And those things don't have to be mutually-exclusive. I've dated women older than myself that I found absolutely stunning. But they weren't flawless, just as I'm not flawless. The only people that, head to toe, look like a flawless 21 year old are 21 year olds. The rest of us are slowly decaying . 1
StBreton Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 I'm sure Empresario meant well in his post but as an "older" woman it kind of made me feel like I'm second place The last thing I want is a man my age looking over his shoulder feeling like he might have settled for a safe bet. I'm an investment worth banking on from the start, PERIOD. Agreed ... Guys date me and think "she's very pretty" but they could date a pretty gal who's 10 yrs younger ...they just choose not to and believe me ...some have said that to me. The younger version is more attractive to some ...but that beauty will fade ...and what's the big difference? What is inside the person ...that's not going to fade. I took Empresario's analogy as saying the same thing.
StBreton Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 AND the last thing I want IS to be looking over my shoulder. ; ) Got it Boh ...you want the hot younger babe because that catches your eye. We understand you ...this younger woman validates that which you think of yourself.
Guyouthere Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Some guys don't care too much about looks. I don't have to have "really pretty". My ex wife wasn't the best looking, but I married her. We were married 15+ years. Beauty is skin deep. What is inside the person matters. But like I said… I need that physical and mental level… thats just me. I don't need a beauty queen. I want a good and sincere woman I can trust and who will respect me as much as I do her.
empresario Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 AND the last thing I want IS to be looking over my shoulder. ; ) This shows I read the situation correctly. Friend, what you just said should be the motto of your life...but not in the way you intended it. Don't look over your shoulder, ever. That is a choice you are making. Find happiness in your life moving forward because God knows we can't ever go back. you will never be 25 again. Sorry I had to be the one to break that to you. If you continue to live your life envious of your youth...you have many sad years ahead of you. Like the 30 year old that still tells stories about his high school football days. 1
StBreton Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 But seriously though…. You saw something in them that caught your attention, something you were attracted to besides fitness, which is a good thing. But, consider that if you are highly active, and your partner isn't, it can cause issues in the relationship. Wouldn't you want someone to can keep up with you in all or most ways? There are going to be differences of course, like I won't expose my lady to diving the side of a navigation channel to get the goods out there, because it is too dangerous. I would like to have someone to dive with, at least at what she felt comfortable with. That is just an example. It comes down to shared goals and shared interests in life too. I was ready to leave the USA one day for that last girl, and would haven had she been stable and truly what I thought she was. I had already started to think about how she could reach the goals she wanted to have, and think of specifics of how I could help her get there. Thats what relationship are about. Actually GOT ...they were my "just divorced ...didn't know what the heck I was doing" relationship guys. they were crazy about me and did the love bombing routine ...and I bought it hook line and sinker ...without really thinking about who I am and who is best for me at this point in my life. That's why everyone says to go find yourself after a marriage/relationship of long duration ends. These guys both looked older than me as far as fitness ...I have a rule ...if we can't kiss and our bodies aren't fully touching (no bellies) I'm not into it ..:one guy lost 25 lbs in 1 month so he could be with me ...but we looked similar in age as far as facial wrinkles etc. I just don't have an eye for younger guys ...I'll date anyone from early 40s to late 50s ...how they look age wise doesn't matter as much as the emotional and mental / intellectual connection and as I know now ...fitness/-activity level. I'm a long term thinker.
StBreton Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 This shows I read the situation correctly. Friend, what you just said should be the motto of your life...but not in the way you intended it. Don't look over your shoulder, ever. That is a choice you are making. Find happiness in your life moving forward because God knows we can't ever go back. you will never be 25 again. Sorry I had to be the one to break that to you. If you continue to live your life envious of your youth...you have many sad years ahead of you. Like the 30 year old that still tells stories about his high school football days. Empresario you and I both see that which the OP refuses to see. It wasn't so lightly veiled and he revealed his true self. 1
lollipopspot Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 I actually feel kind of sorry for people whose age range in partner doesn't move up as they themselves age. Some guys are attracted to 18 year olds when they're 18, and even as they age they never move beyond that. That's problem for them in terms of developing relationships. It's basically an age fetish. I notice that as I get older, the people I am attracted to generally and see myself with also get older. 2
Guyouthere Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 (edited) You were just divorced,, upset over it all no doubt, and wanted the fun and excitement to lift your spirits. I did the exact same, felt good too. Only in my case, I had a former girlfriend who I dated some 20 + years prior (who is now married too) come and "take care of me". We kept it clean, because she is married, but she came from Georgia because she found out what my wife had done (she always kept in touch with my mom and so got the news). We spent over 35 days and night going around the Florid keys and Orlando, all over the place. She did it because she cared, and it benefited both of us. It got me through some really bad times… it also shows that there are some good people out there in the world. I like your rule about kissing hehe I gained some 25 pounds when I went on that "vacation" after the divorce, eating out every night and not diving, etc. Now I am and have been very much back in shape, bike riding some 150-200 miles each week, and with treasure hunting season going into high gear here as soon as the ocean calms down, it will be very busy here with physical activities. Currently dealing with a virus that the boss gave everyone at work, so been sitting at home the last 2 days on my days off, but it isn't normal for me to do so. At our age, we should be thinking long term. I look for stability too, too old for games and I know what I want. You sound like you do too Edited October 20, 2015 by Guyouthere 1
Guyouthere Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 I actually feel kind of sorry for people whose age range in partner doesn't move up as they themselves age. Some guys are attracted to 18 year olds when they're 18, and even as they age they never move beyond that. That's problem for them in terms of developing relationships. It's basically an age fetish. I notice that as I get older, the people I am attracted to generally and see myself with also get older. There was an 18 year old girl who messaged me out of the blue once on a forum I was on,,, I befriended her only as a friend, but she wanted more. I felt sorry for her, she had a sad life story. She was bipolar and it affected her quite badly. She eventually dropped out on her own, she was just very ill. I felt like I was her dad in some ways, so I tried to give her guidance. 18 is way too young for me though, I'm way past that.
xxoo Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 How do you know you aren't attracted to any women your age? Do you look at ID before deciding whether or not you are attracted? Ask yourself this: how much does your partner's age affect your own ego? 1
stillafool Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Lately, it seems that is all that is attracted to me and I am frustrated with not finding a women I am mutually attracted to. So are you saying that you approach these women for dates and they reject you?
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