thecrucible Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 I am not sorry but if i work in onxology kids with cancer and i been that childs nurse for a long period of time and the child does not make it and the parents say there final good byes I am going to cry . If that makes me less of a man so be it. Also if the girl i am dating cant be understanding of that than I need to find another GF. I agree with you. This is totally a time when an emotional response is expected. There's nothing wrong with this at all. I visited my grandmother when she was terminally ill with cancer and it's nothing that anyone should have to see a close family member go through . If a women you were dating took issue with getting emotional over something like this then that's pretty insensitive. I don't think you should feel so conflicted. You sound like a normal guy to me. I think often women, myself included, don't realise how much of a face men have to put on sometimes. I think relationships can be a sanctuary for a man to express emotions he doesn't usually express. Maybe that's why break-ups can be harder on men sometimes?
Hopeful30 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 It's not a question of being more vulnerable -- it's about having less fear. I can't give any advice, because I'm in the same boat. All I can say with certainty is that if you let it hold you back you just stay in the exact same place. You need to let something happen to even explore the subject, or your knowledge about it (and yourself) will never expand. 1
TheBathWater Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I have issues being vulnerable with people overall. I dont trust easy butgive benifet of the dought to people. I'm a private person but not a quiet person. I am loud and talk all the time but I never share personal . Also have a hard time sharing my emotions with people. I tell every one thing is fine but deep down am sad , depressed and mad at myself for things I have do wrong . However I do open up some but it takes tome to get to know you I got to feel you out to see if i can trust you. When it comes to woman i am scared to be emotionally vulnerable with woman . A guy can be seen as weak if he shows too much emotion and if shows none he seen as a heart less SOB even cold. People say I come off as aloof but once i open up I am not a cold person. I have no idea why my guard is always up at first. How can i be more vulnerable but not over do it? get Mark Manson's book 'Models'.
Author Krieger Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 get Mark Manson's book 'Models'. I dont need a book to tell me things I all ready know or a book to tell me how to be a man. Woman want a guy that sensitive when he needs to be . A rock when she needs him to be . A guy that will not be a doormat. I need to work on not push people away once they get close.
seekingluck Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Do not be vulnerable to a woman. That's not what they want, and they can use it against you. Not exactly. I'll share what is happening right now with a current crush. For some context, I am friendly but private. I do not open up, it takes me a long time to feel comfortable enough to share really personal stuff. Even with my closest friends. I had leaving that vulnerability door open. And I generally don't like when people are too "emotional." Not a crier and I don't get attached. Although, I am definitely having more "feelings" as I age. Download on my crush: we have been working together for almost a year, but started to work closely together over the past couple of months, and in this time we have started to get to know each other. And we started to realize we had what was starting to feel like a "connection." It was like one day we woke up and noticed we had similar experiences and outlooks and it was awesome. In one of the early personal conversations we has, he shared with me that he had cried earlier in the day because his grandmother has dementia and they are really close. I felt privileged that he shared that with me, as we barely knew each other. It made me feel closer to him, and want to get to know him a lot more. I certainly felt bonded. His sensitivity is appealing. What it showed me most is that he is layered. My initial impressions of him were that he is super social, has lots of friends, has lots of charisma and a natural flirt. What I found out about him in that conversation is that he cares deeply and is fiercely protective about the people that he cares about, and I wanted to be on that list! So I would say, I don't want too much vulnerability to early, but some is great!
Author Krieger Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 It's not a question of being more vulnerable -- it's about having less fear. I can't give any advice, because I'm in the same boat. All I can say with certainty is that if you let it hold you back you just stay in the exact same place. You need to let something happen to even explore the subject, or your knowledge about it (and yourself) will never expand. I just got to take baby steps . Looking back at my childhood and having a father that showed little to no affection or even to say he is proud of me . I can count on one hand how many times my dad has said i am proud of you . Also when i try to get close he push me away. Seeing i know what father i want to be and that is one that loves my kids and shows it.
hudson701 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 As others have said above, never be vulnerable to a woman. If there's one thing I've learnt over the years when women have walked away from me, it's to never show weakness. They've always left when I've been at my weakest- 'ah but not all women are like that!' The gallows cry haha. Of course they are, otherwise it wouldn't be a recurrent experience. My advice which is working well for me: if you have a difficult problem seek advice from your best male friends, the ones that are there through thick and thin. If it's life or death then always turn to your family. If your looking for unquestionable loyalty, get a dog (seriously). For everything else (the superficial, then- sex, cuddles, dates, days out, dinner & drinks etc) there's women.
Author Krieger Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 As others have said above, never be vulnerable to a woman. If there's one thing I've learnt over the years when women have walked away from me, it's to never show weakness. They've always left when I've been at my weakest- 'ah but not all women are like that!' The gallows cry haha. Of course they are, otherwise it wouldn't be a recurrent experience. My advice which is working well for me: if you have a difficult problem seek advice from your best male friends, the ones that are there through thick and thin. If it's life or death then always turn to your family. If your looking for unquestionable loyalty, get a dog (seriously). For everything else (the superficial, then- sex, cuddles, dates, days out, dinner & drinks etc) there's women. Well no woman wants a guy that is cold emotion less robot. I am still believe woman want a guy to show emotion just as long its not all the time. I see nothing wrong with crying when for example my wife just gave birth to our first child i am cry because i would be some happy. If that makes me weak so be it .
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