CalvinM Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 Today would've been our 5th date. She postponed on Saturday due to fever, and postponed tonight in favour of tomorrow due to a Board of Directors meeting at work. I found out earlier this week that I won't be getting a promotion I was in line for after being all but promised and primed for it as early as August and was really looking forward to seeing her. She's trying to get funding for her program, so I know this meeting is very important for her and I understand that these things come up. I'm trying to be supportive and understanding, but it's a bit disappointing that she confirmed this afternoon and then forgot she had a pretty big meeting to attend tonight. I told her that I was a bit disappointed, but that I would very much like to see her tomorrow. Am I overreacting here?
jam.over.jelly Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 Yes you are. She has legit reasons to postpone, at least I think so. Btw, you keep referring to her as your "date" then your "gf". So confusing. You had 4 dates, and you guy are seeing each other exclusively doesn't make you bf and gf, unless you have established that you both agree to be in a relationship. And please, every single time she does something or changes her mind, you make a new thread, can you maybe post it in the same thread?
Author CalvinM Posted October 19, 2015 Author Posted October 19, 2015 I honestly don't see a difference between dating someone exclusively and being in a relationship. I view the two as interchangeable. And if the mods have a problem with multiple thread topics, they can combine both threads.
Zippy2000 Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 I told her that I was a bit disappointed, but that I would very much like to see her tomorrow. In Don Juan`s rule book. You never let a woman know you`re disappointed. This goes against seduction and makes you look needy. Don Juan told me to tell you in future say something like. Aw naw thats a shame. How about............?
neowulf Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 I honestly don't see a difference between dating someone exclusively and being in a relationship. I view the two as interchangeable. And if the mods have a problem with multiple thread topics, they can combine both threads. Forgive me, but that's a fundamental misunderstanding of the dating process. Until you've had a conversation about being "exclusive", just dating only one person doesn't automatically mean you're in a relationship and that she's your girlfriend. After 4 dates, I wouldn't be calling a girl my "girlfriend".
Author CalvinM Posted October 20, 2015 Author Posted October 20, 2015 In Don Juan`s rule book. You never let a woman know you`re disappointed. This goes against seduction and makes you look needy. Don Juan told me to tell you in future say something like. Aw naw thats a shame. How about............? This woman is an adult, not an adolescent. Sometimes honesty and feelings are ok. 2
Author CalvinM Posted October 20, 2015 Author Posted October 20, 2015 Forgive me, but that's a fundamental misunderstanding of the dating process. Until you've had a conversation about being "exclusive", just dating only one person doesn't automatically mean you're in a relationship and that she's your girlfriend. After 4 dates, I wouldn't be calling a girl my "girlfriend". We had the exclusive discussion during date four. She brought it up.
losangelena Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 I think you're OK. It's natural to be disappointed, but at date five, even if you are exclusive, I can see how a meeting like that takes precedent (sorry). I'm sure she didn't mean to pull a bait and switch by saying she'd see you and then recanting. If she postpones again, then maybe something is up. But for now, try and ride out the disappointment by looking forward to tomorrow.
kpl Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 This woman is an adult, not an adolescent. Sometimes honesty and feelings are ok. i agree, but your disappointment isn't her problem and probably didn't need to be told to her. Just saying oh I would have loved to see you, but I understand is enough. Saying you are disappointed sounds like you are blaming her. She made a mistake and has valid reasons to not see you, she isn't saying she will never see you. Try to see a gf more as support and not an emotional booster. It is not her job to pump you back up.
Author CalvinM Posted October 20, 2015 Author Posted October 20, 2015 All I said was that I was a bit disappointed, but that I understand work stuff comes up and that I'd like to see her when she's free. She's trying to secure funding and I know her provoding accurate up to date info during this meeting is integral to that cause. That said, she had postponed already from Saturday to Monday. It's accurate to say that if I hadn't had such a ****ty week, this probably wouldn't bother me, and she did offer alternate days, but since she told me how closed off her ex was and that he never told her what he was thinking/feeling, I think I'm ok showing a bit of emotion.
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