Dmichael Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 Hey everyone, was looking for some basic tips and pointers, maybe there's something missing I don't see. I've been in the dating scene for a while, but I finally found someone I really '' Clicked '' with. We went on a date two Friday's ago, and man.. I felt like we didn't get off the date until last Thursday! I'll admit I feel we moved to quick, we both just couldn't get enough of each other. We eventually both agreed we needed to slow down. Last day I saw her was Thursday. We were going to hang Sat, but we didn't talk at all, she didn't cancel, nothing. I felt like a chump. In fact, I called and left her a VM Sat afternoon. I never heard back from her all day/night. All day Sunday, nothing. So I felt maybe I'm being ghosted. I've done this to women, so hopefully it isn't Karma. So I texted her today saying '' Hey, hope all is well, I didn't hear from you sat, or sun, kinda felt ignored, if you don't want to talk for a while I'm ok with going whatever speed you want ''. Her reply was, '' I'm not ignoring you, I needed a night with linds (Her roommate), and a night with her (friends). I replied, '' No worries, Hope you have a good day, let me know when you want to get together ''. Still nothing after. But she likes my posts on Instagram... ugh.. Mind you, she also wanted to be exclusive. Let the confusion begin. Anyone?
scooby-philly Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 Honestly OP, There's too much unknown here to really give any sort of insight or solid advice based on practical experience (except for those people with way too opinionated points of view) From what you shared, 1. She cancelled on you #1 and you also left the ball in her court regarding the texts. She has to be the one to make the next move. If she doesn't, she may only be acting out of feeling bad and not being totally into you. 2. I wouldn't text her, call her, and I'd avoid SM with her at all costs too. Not sure how you guys met, how long you've known each other, if you've gotten physical - how many dates did you go on (or how much did you "hang out") over that week. Regardless, see point #1. 3. She stated up front she wants to be exclusive - so her heart and her head may be at war with each other - she wants something serious, but she feels like she moved too quickly and now isn't sure. That's just a guess. But again, see #1. You were polite, you were understanding, and you were gentlemanly about it. Don't do anything to ruin that. 4. If you do not hear from her by the end of the week THEN, and only then, text her - "I'm sorry if things got rushed and if you feel confused, scared, or just plain unsure. I'm not looking to rush into anything either and totally am fine with you dictating the pace. I tried to leave you alone all week to give you space and respect your feelings. I just wanted to let you know I thought we clicked and I didn't want to just walk away without letting you know." Keep it light, but be honest and transparent. Perhaps she'll just need to hear something from you at that point. If not, then no worries and you left your reputation and honor in tact and you told her how you felt.
d0nnivain Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 We went on a date two Friday's ago, and man.. I felt like we didn't get off the date until last Thursday! Are you actually saying that went on a date but didn't leave each other for almost 2 weeks? We were going to hang Sat, but we didn't talk at all, she didn't cancel, nothing. I felt like a chump. In fact, I called and left her a VM Sat afternoon. I never heard back from her all day/night. All day Sunday, nothing. So I texted her today saying '' Hey, hope all is well, I didn't hear from you sat, or sun, kinda felt ignored, if you don't want to talk for a while I'm ok with going whatever speed you want ''. Her reply was, '' I'm not ignoring you, I needed a night with linds (Her roommate), and a night with her (friends). Then you had tentative plans for Saturday night but she blew you off & only replied today that she was hanging out with her friends. That is incredibly rude. Since you placed the ball in her court leave it there but I don't think she's going to reach out. Sorry. 1
Author Dmichael Posted October 19, 2015 Author Posted October 19, 2015 Honestly OP, There's too much unknown here to really give any sort of insight or solid advice based on practical experience (except for those people with way too opinionated points of view) From what you shared, 1. She cancelled on you #1 and you also left the ball in her court regarding the texts. She has to be the one to make the next move. If she doesn't, she may only be acting out of feeling bad and not being totally into you. 2. I wouldn't text her, call her, and I'd avoid SM with her at all costs too. Not sure how you guys met, how long you've known each other, if you've gotten physical - how many dates did you go on (or how much did you "hang out") over that week. Regardless, see point #1. 3. She stated up front she wants to be exclusive - so her heart and her head may be at war with each other - she wants something serious, but she feels like she moved too quickly and now isn't sure. That's just a guess. But again, see #1. You were polite, you were understanding, and you were gentlemanly about it. Don't do anything to ruin that. 4. If you do not hear from her by the end of the week THEN, and only then, text her - "I'm sorry if things got rushed and if you feel confused, scared, or just plain unsure. I'm not looking to rush into anything either and totally am fine with you dictating the pace. I tried to leave you alone all week to give you space and respect your feelings. I just wanted to let you know I thought we clicked and I didn't want to just walk away without letting you know." Keep it light, but be honest and transparent. Perhaps she'll just need to hear something from you at that point. If not, then no worries and you left your reputation and honor in tact and you told her how you felt. Really appreciate your reply and insight. We actually hung out almost every day the last two weeks. Up until last Thurs/Fri/Sat/Sun. Plans were on Sat. We also did get Physical, twice. With-in the first week. I did not initiate this. The 4th date we ended up having sex. She did mention a few days later she wished we hadn't of done it so quickly, but she initiated. I think I'll follow your advice about texting her at the end of the week. I'm thinking Friday? Also what you said was smooth and on point. Thank you. I'll keep it updated here.
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