13 hours difference long distance, he still browsing online dating site

[le_20]

Met this guy a year ago on dating site and have been dating for few months.

He had been living in my country for 4 years and had moved back to his country permanently few months ago.I just came back from visiting him(he bought me airticket and paid all my expenses during my 2 weeks visit)

 

Sparks were still there and we did have conversation,he told me that he did consider coming back to my country but since his mum is sick,needs him from time to time,plus he isnt really happy living in my country,due to culture difference, he probably wont come back to my country.

 

I was really sad as we have lots of common interest and also have many similarities in thinking,view/perspective of life,while on the plane coming back to my country, I couldnt stop crying,even though i planned to handle it light and cool.

 

After months away from the dating site, i visited his profile, just wanted to recall memories of the very first time he sent me message and i viewed his profile,eventually replied to him……but then i found out he visited the site yesterday!

 

He didnt update his current location and details, and also no longer pay for the membership of the site. At the dating site, paying member can send and read unlimited messages, unpaid member still can send message but if the receiver is not paying member, then she cant read his message.

 

All these months, after he opening up very much to me,all about his former partner,took me to houses he once bought and lived,told me the process of starting his business, took me to his good friend’s family thanksgiving lunch, watched ball matches together with him and his good friend….many many more, I really think he is a sincere and warm guy……

 

I’m not sure I should think that I’ve been cheated or he is just browsing the site.

Due to the long distance and unseeable future,we are not in official relationship, we both seems still interested in each other. I’m doing hreat in my career and plan to start my own business in the next few years,he doesnt want me to sacrifice in order to move to his country.

 

“Don’t stress over it.Don’t be sad and don’t worry……dont force thing,dont chase after thing,when you stop chasing, things that you are longing for, will come to you at the right time”

Thats what he said.

 

Any suggestion about 1)he still on dating site and 2) the way he treated me and things he told me?

 

I dont think I’m forcing thing, I'm a confident person,I just believe that if we want something happen or be with someone,instead of following flow, we have to make choices that somehow can make things work!

[Toddbt12y1]

Not officially together? Well....

 

He cannot cheat on you if he is not with you. Now, I would say if he/you were attempting a relationship - with him still on dating websites, that he is not worth it and is being totally disrespectful. But you are not an official couple.

 

As of what he said..

 

It does not matter. You and him are not together - seems like he was giving you the be patient thing; and wait for something good to happen. Life rarely works like that. You have to seize moments - they rarely fall into anyone's lap.

 

4 months of dating and nothing official. I cannot argue that he is cheating. Now, he may be interested in other girls closer to him, when you are not around. This long of a distance and all of this...Best you find someone a bit closer. Not being harsh....just easier to manage.