Imajerk17 Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 (edited) I wrote this thread for [readers] who say their emails never get responses. These are some of the emails that I sent that have gotten good responses. 1. In response to a girl who sent that she likes to drive w the windows down and the radio up. Tell you what...when we drive with the windows down and the radio up, I will let you pick the station, but I trust that you have good taste in music! If you like Justin Bieber it just won't work between us. [laughs] Cheers, IMJ 2. The woman had a picture of her on FedEx field. That picture of you at FedEx field.....yes you have an amazing smile, but I am wondering....who is that creeper girl photobombing you in the background? Was your photographer hot? [laughs] So what brought you to Rome by yourself last year? Jerk 3. This in response to a brief profile. I kinda like how you give the Guy Version write-up of your profile--short and right to the point. [laughs] What was the story of that picture taken of you jumping on skis? It is a nice shot... IMJ17 Moral to the story: See how what I am doing is different from the typical "nice" emails guys on here send? Be fun not serious. Also, keep the first emails brief. Try to find the humor in what they are writing. If they say or do something particularly noteworthy, point it out. There are exceptions to every rule when it comes to dating, but this style of writing first emails has served me well. Edited October 20, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 11
Art_Critic Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 I have always said that if you show a girl that she is going to have fun if she goes out on a date with you then you will go out, humor is the quickest way to show someone you are fun to be around... Who wants to go out with some guy that sounds like a fuddy dud and send an email asking for more pictures or what is your greatest achievement in life.. Your emails had a humorous slant to them which is why they got the response back... fun....you have to be fun.... 4
OrangeParty Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 I wrote this thread for the Struggling Dudes who say their emails never get responses. These are some of the emails that I sent that have gotten good responses. Are you at least decently attractive and/or have a good photo? I'm willing to bet that's what is getting you responses. You have a good photo, so your emails are getting read and since they're also interesting, the responses come in. Without the former, the latter rarely matters. 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 (edited) I do that. I send silly emails and then I send serious ones. I mix it up. To be fair, I have gotten a few responses, but the response rate is poor. I really don't think it's accurate to say guys who are doing badly with women are boring, unfunny, and uninteresting. Everybody has their own sense of humor, and just about everybody can be funny. And the one guy I can think of, off the top of my head who is totally drab every time we have met, he is married to a really cool chick. But I do believe that just about all guys try and make a woman laugh. It's the very first instinct. Kudos for trying to help. The topic of trying to transform somebody and improve their charisma with women and people is very complex. Maybe you could post an ad on Craigslist, take on a willing project, and try and make him over and see how it works out. Edited October 19, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember
impatiently_patient Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 Filter your photos. Apparently that's the secret sauce.
GravityMan Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 Those are decent first emails, OP...definitely better than the norm from what I've heard from various women. They're simple and have a touch of humor, which shows that you're fun without getting too invested. In other words, a type of icebreaker. The typical 18-year-old should be able to come up with messages like that. Icebreakers are part of basic social skills. Which makes it even sadder that many adult guys (in their 20s and 30s) on OLD are apparently unable to come up with decent emails (or more likely...they actually ARE able, but they're just clueless on what women generally react favorably to). That said, I agree with the others that if the woman doesn't like the guy's pics, then it's unlikely she'll respond. However, I suspect having at least a couple of fun and interesting pics (ideally, recent ones) will help quite a bit...regardless of what the guy looks like. Even a "hot" dude can have boring pics. The vast majority of guys will have far better luck just meeting women IRL. There tends to be less shallowness IRL than on dating sites.
impatiently_patient Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 (edited) Those are decent first emails, OP...definitely better than the norm from what I've heard from various women. They're simple and have a touch of humor, which shows that you're fun without getting too invested. In other words, a type of icebreaker. The typical 18-year-old should be able to come up with messages like that. Icebreakers are part of basic social skills. Which makes it even sadder that many adult guys (in their 20s and 30s) on OLD are apparently unable to come up with decent emails (or more likely...they actually ARE able, but they're just clueless on what women generally react favorably to). They read like they fell out of a douchechute to me, especially the first one... and I fail to see any humor there whatsoever. 'Laughs' in brackets... yeah, turns out: Not humor. Edited October 19, 2015 by impatiently_patient 1
SJC2008 Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 Certainly not bad advice but I wouldn't call it good because it's OLD. Most women who have messaged me pretty much said 'hi'. Ironically, what many of the state their profile that they won't respond to. As long as you meet the looks requirement and aren't a creep, there's not much you can do wrong.
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Those are decent first emails, OP...definitely better than the norm from what I've heard from various women. They're simple and have a touch of humor, which shows that you're fun without getting too invested. In other words, a type of icebreaker. The typical 18-year-old should be able to come up with messages like that. Icebreakers are part of basic social skills. Which makes it even sadder that many adult guys (in their 20s and 30s) on OLD are apparently unable to come up with decent emails (or more likely...they actually ARE able, but they're just clueless on what women generally react favorably to). If you would like to help, then you don't have to have that attitude. If I make 85K a year, I don't go to Target and look at people who make $9/hr and say "That's sad. Jesus, they're 40 years old and they're making what high schoolers make. No social mobility skills. Sad." They're people just like me. Whether one guy gets 40 more women than the next guy who gets zero, that doesn't make him any better. When we're gone and buried, it makes no difference.
bluefeather Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Filter your photos. Apparently that's the secret sauce. I just got your joke from the other thread! Any bites? These are interesting reads. Please keep'em coming if you have more. Though I wonder... how skilled would you be at saying these things? The way one types might not always be the way they speak in real life! Just another random thought about the alien world of online dating... :X
lino Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 No offense, but I didn't really find any of those openers humorous. Then again, I've not exactly been noted for being a comedian I just know what I find humorous and that isn't it. If it's worked for you though, I'm not going to argue against it. Have never done online dating but my looks have always gotten my foot in the door in real world scenarios and good social connections are what put me in those places to be noticed. From what I've seen in my life, genuinely funny guys who do really well with women don't do openers but are just known in their social or employment groups as the super funny guy and their reputation carries them to many opportunities.
impatiently_patient Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 No offense, but I didn't really find any of those openers humorous. Then again, I've not exactly been noted for being a comedian Tim Minchin is a comedian. This is slack.
impatiently_patient Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 These are interesting reads. Please keep'em coming if you have more. Though I wonder... how skilled would you be at saying these things? The way one types might not always be the way they speak in real life! Just another random thought about the alien world of online dating... :X No idea what you're saying right now.
Toodaloo Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Jerk I would have responded to any and all of those. They are good opening messages. Just like saying hello and striking up conversation. Perfect to start a dialogue. 1
mr_dave Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 No idea what you're saying right now. I think bluefeather is saying that it's all very well being able to condure up a humorous opening email, but if you were to meet the lady in person, would your spoken interaction with her be quite so witty? 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 (edited) I wrote this thread for the Struggling Dudes who say their emails never get responses. These are some of the emails that I sent that have gotten good responses. 1. In response to a girl who sent that she likes to drive w the windows down and the radio up. Tell you what...when we drive with the windows down and the radio up, I will let you pick the station, but I trust that you have good taste in music! If you like Justin Bieber it just won't work between us. [laughs] Cheers, IMJ 2. The woman had a picture of her on FedEx field. That picture of you at FedEx field.....yes you have an amazing smile, but I am wondering....who is that creeper girl photobombing you in the background? Was your photographer hot? [laughs] So what brought you to Rome by yourself last year? Jerk 3. This in response to a brief profile. I kinda like how you give the Guy Version write-up of your profile--short and right to the point. [laughs] What was the story of that picture taken of you jumping on skis? It is a nice shot... IMJ17 Moral to the story: See how what I am doing is different from the typical "nice" emails guys on here send? Be fun not serious. Also, keep the first emails brief. Try to find the humor in what they are writing. If they say or do something particularly noteworthy, point it out. There are exceptions to every rule when it comes to dating, but this style of writing first emails has served me well. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, but hasn't served me well. *shrug* Believe me,I've done my share of pointing out what's in their pictures, their hobbies, humor in regards to whatever was in their photo, etc. Results were mostly the same, none. Don't get me wrong, I'd get the very occasional impressed lady who actually responded with compliments of how so eloquently I put my initial email to her. But I would say that would probably happen 2 times a year. lol. But I have to go with the others, let's say if you're not a certain height requirement for the woman's desires, you're out of the running and whatever you type...is moot..to her. Edited October 20, 2015 by LookAtThisPOst
impatiently_patient Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Jerk I would have responded to any and all of those. They are good opening messages. Just like saying hello and striking up conversation. Perfect to start a dialogue. Hmmmmm... maybe online dating is more of an unfulfilled '80s manifestation of 'Corky 2 Corky' than I had initially thought.
impatiently_patient Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 I think bluefeather is saying that it's all very well being able to condure up a humorous opening email, but if you were to meet the lady in person, would your spoken interaction with her be quite so witty? 'Conjure' ... The term is conjure. If OLD ladies are going to be be grammar Nazis, be aware that grammar Hitler will gas you and put you in a mass grave too. 1
mr_dave Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 'Conjure' ... The term is conjure. If OLD ladies are going to be be grammar Nazis, be aware that grammar Hitler will gas you and put you in a mass grave too. Whoops, excuse my typo! Hopefully no french speakers were reading that..
gaius Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Hmmmmm... maybe online dating is more of an unfulfilled '80s manifestation of 'Corky 2 Corky' than I had initially thought. I would wager he's getting responses because he's giving the woman a chance to talk about herself. But you're right, there is something very offputting about the overall tone, to the point I would be really surprised if any of those ended up developing into a relationship of significant length. Being douchey nice isn't very sexually stimulating for most women. Keeping it short = good, having fun in some way = awesome, but showing off a more masculine attitude would serve way better. There's almost 0 personality radiating from those messages, they're all designed to just play off the woman. If you don't have a visible personality and you're not real it's very hard for someone of the opposite sex to fall for you.
clia Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 I don't think the responses seem douchey at all. They are fun, light, short and show he at least looked at her profile. To each their own, I guess. These are the types of messages that would've gotten a response from me. And of course pictures are important, but so is the message you send. I don't care how hot you are, if you send me a message that says "hey" or that is creepy, weird, or loaded with misspellings, you won't get a response. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 I don't think the responses seem douchey at all. They are fun, light, short and show he at least looked at her profile. To each their own, I guess. These are the types of messages that would've gotten a response from me. And of course pictures are important, but so is the message you send. I don't care how hot you are, if you send me a message that says "hey" or that is creepy, weird, or loaded with misspellings, you won't get a response. Yeah, but if you send a woman a well articulated email, but look like quazimodo, you're not going to get a response either, if you do, at the very least it'll be, "Thanks, but not interested."
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 (edited) If you guys think it's all about the content and messages, then why don't you offer to take over a friend's account and get them as many dates as possible by redoing their profile and writing their messages for them. Imajerk, if you took over my profile and I let you rewrite everything for me (keeping my core interests in line) and knowing nothing what I look like, pick which women to message, and write my messages for me, how well do you seriously think you could do? Convince me, and maybe I'll let you try. Edited October 20, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember 1
clia Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Yeah, but if you send a woman a well articulated email, but look like quazimodo, you're not going to get a response either, if you do, at the very least it'll be, "Thanks, but not interested." Unless the woman is attracted to your Quasimodo looks. People are attracted to all kinds. Just look around you. But generally speaking, I don't disagree. As I said, both pictures and message are important.
Toodaloo Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Keeping it short = good, having fun in some way = awesome, but showing off a more masculine attitude would serve way better. There's almost 0 personality radiating from those messages, they're all designed to just play off the woman. No they are not. They are to get the woman to engage in conversation so he can show his masculine side etc...
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