DirtyBerty Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 Just got a text from my ex's mum passing on a message about some of the furnature in our flat. just admin stuff really. But it's made me feel quite depressed and brought back a lot of the pain. Did this ever happen to any of you? Is it considered contact? I've been no contact about 5 weeks and started to feel a lot better and could stop myself thinking about her every 5 minutes.
sandylee1 Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 Best to get the furniture matter all sorted and put a line in the sand.
mightycpa Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 (edited) Just got a text from my ex's mum passing on a message about some of the furnature in our flat. just admin stuff really. But it's made me feel quite depressed and brought back a lot of the pain. Did this ever happen to any of you? Is it considered contact? I've been no contact about 5 weeks and started to feel a lot better and could stop myself thinking about her every 5 minutes. Something like that happened to me. I was in the grocery store, minding my own business when her father popped up. He was really happy to see me, and while I was saying hello, my eyes were frantically searching for her AND an escape route, just in case I saw her. Luckily, she wasn't there. After a little small talk, he invited me over to come visit. I wasn't expecting that. I said the first thing that popped into my head, which happened to be the little mantra I'd been telling myself for months: She doesn't want to see me.I wasn't fishing, but as soon as I said it, I wanted him to tell me I was wrong. He didn't. What he told me instead was that he didn't approve of her lifestyle lately, and he delved into a couple of examples. I didn't want to hear any of it, so I changed the subject, said my goodbyes and went on my way. Like you, even though it was a fairly simple conversation, it seemed to be loaded with significance for me, and I went over it again and again in my head, looking for some little sign. The only signs I found were that he didn't tell me she did want to see me, and that she was having a ton of fun without me. It was depressing. Similarly, I guess the unspoken but plainly visible undertone of her text is that there are some loose threads that they want you to take care of so they can close the books on this one. It's not easy, but all you can do is take care of business, and let the rest take care of itself. It is contact, and you're partly responsible, because you have not taken care of those loose threads yourself. If this was a pen or a nickel, they would have never contacted you. But these are apparently big things that need to get taken care of. So take care of it, and put this behind you. Edited October 19, 2015 by mightycpa 1
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