ly399 Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 I still love him very much. I did things out of anger, I really miss him and want him back. My ex and I dated 3.5 years, we were going to get married in the summer, but we got into so many fights and eventually he broke off the engagement a month before the wedding. It was pretty embarrassing since all family, colleagues, friends know about it. But we both regretted canceling the wedding, shortly after cancellation, we were trying to get back together. We were fine for two months, until recently.... we were having more small fights about plans of "officially" getting back together. I resent him for dumping me a month before the wedding. He is concerned about some of our issues leading to the initial break up haven't been properly addressed. I got more upset, fearing he's going to flake out again. Basically, he started to back away, making excuses, even telling small lies about why he's not visiting me. I told him i got hurt the first breakup, if he really want us to work out this time, he needs to give me more sense of security. He used to call me everyday. We made an agreement early in the relationship that on the days we dont see each other, calling each other is mandatory. The conversation doesnt have to be long, a simply check in is enough. If phone is not accessible, text or any form of communication is acceptable. We got into another fight couple days before my birthday. He then stopped calling me for days or texts either. i stayed up all night crying think he's giving up on us, because he did mention in one recent fight about not wanting to follow through the reconciliation. So i text him on my bday confronting him not calling me and making excuses all along. and told him "goodbye and good luck". He was sad when he got my "breakup" msg and ignored all my calls or texts thereafter. When i finally got a hold of him to speak on the phone, we ended things quietly on the phone. we are both very sad. I miss him so much, i would never send that "breakup" msg if i knew he wasn't trying to breakup with me by avoiding me on purpose days before my bday. On my bday, he dropped of my bday gift in my mailbox, but i missed it. He called at 11:30pm, i missed those calls so he thought i was rejecting his calls on purpose. To be honest, this "breakup" was more like a big misunderstanding. but both of us are very hesitant to try again. I secretly want him back and giving this relationship another try. But I don't know if he feels the same way, or he's ready to moved on. He said he will miss me before we hang up. does that mean we still have some hopes? maybe one day he get over that "breakup" msg, and come back for me?
ExpatInItaly Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 No, saying he will miss you is not a sign he's going to come back. I've both heard and said that after a breakup that was permanent. So don't read into that statement. Honestly, given all the fighting you've been doing, it doesn't sound like a great match anymore. Perhaps you've both outgrown this relationship; he seems to be very frustrated and not wanting to make an effort to reconcile. If this break-up is a big misunderstanding....well, you both need to work on your communication skills before you can even think about proceeding. I've never had a break-up (especially of an engagement) that was down to a misunderstanding. The issues here are much deeper than that, apparently. Stop contacting him. You both need to get sorted out here and figure out what you really want. Ask yourself if you truly love him or if you're hanging on for other reasons.
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