QueenDeath Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 It's hurtful looking back on my ex from high school, the way he left me was so much more better compared to my recent ex that's in college. My ex from high school took responsibility for the break up and also said it's my fault as well, overall, we both took responsibility for it ending. He wasn't treating me and I quote "like his girlfriend, queen. Stringing me along after losing feelings for me" and for me, I was dealing with major trust issues, accusing him of cheating which ended up hurting him like crazy. We both took responsibility and the breakup wasn't one sided, we both took our turns talking, don't get me wrong, it still broke my heart. Now for my ex that was LDR and in college...I can understand his reasons, however, I just felt as if he told me the reasons for breaking up with me sooner or when those problems happened, we could have still been together. I truthfully didn't think I came off as controlling and manipulative. He said how I was trying to break his friendship with this girl apart which isn't who I am, when he said that, it pissed me off. What made me upset when he said that is, it isn't who I am at all. From my perspective, I didn't care if he hanged out with her at all, I told him I want him to have fun and all, I want him to have his friends I just didn't trust him around her and didn't trust her around him. I was wary, anxious, and scared that he would leave me for this other girl, I was tired of being left for someone else. Hell, she even has a boyfriend, yet still...I was worried as ever. He then says how he wants to go on a break, leaving me in a living nightmare, feeling agony. It was the worst feeling ever, granted that I said stuff before the day of the breakup that I shouldn't have said, I felt that overall I tried my best to be good to him, to be everything for this guy. I don't have a problem with being loyal, nor committed, however, the temptation I had to just cheat throughout the relationship and date others was a killer. Not having someone here where I am killed me, however, I tried so hard for him. He dumped me like I was nothing, like I was trash. He put the blame on the relationship all on me as if he thinks he doesn't play any role in the breakup at all. It was so one sided, no matter how much I tried to explain and ask to talk he wanted nothing to do with me, as if I was just trash on the street or something. The feeling I get as if he doesn't look back on the relationship on a whole and look at the areas he messed up in...hurts like hell and it's clear that I'm not over him, which explains why I'm still here. The fact that my ex from high school ended things with me in a better and more...human? way also disappoints me with my recent ex. It's very sad and disappointing. I wish I could tell him all of these things and more.
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