Author siriusp Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 Martaldn _ thanks for your post. I know that's what he wants. After reading all the replies on LS and having time to think about everything - it's difficult to ignore the facts. Funnily enough - when he comes on strong - I freak out and want to run so I am not really into a relationship either. I'd like a short relationship - you know for a while to see what's like - but I don't know if that's possible..... I wasn't looking for anybody when I met him - not interested - we just met by accident and he surprised me. 1
Terry8889 Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Many of the people who replied suggested you to not contact him forget about him but you didn't listen. You should never have a one night stand if you expect a guy to take you seriously or want a lasting relationship with him. Why would he buy the cow if he gets the milk and cook is for free? Most guys will never say no to sex. It is you who have to keep control if you want the guy to stick around you. Don't give them free sex make them work very hard for it. If they really want a relationship with you they will wait for it. I know why you were expecting the guy to fall in love with you after only a night stand. Relationships are more than that you known... it takes more than one night of sex for a guy to want a serious relationship with a women. I have a lot of guy friends and they talk about this they don't take seriously girls who give in so early. They think women like this are easy and not gf material. Because they think if you did it with them you most likely do it with every men you just meet. So next time don't make it so easy for the guy if you want a relationship with him. Show him you respect yourself and that you're go material. Good luck 2
Author siriusp Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 Many of the people who replied suggested you to not contact him forget about him but you didn't listen. You should never have a one night stand if you expect a guy to take you seriously or want a lasting relationship with him. Why would he buy the cow if he gets the milk and cook is for free? Most guys will never say no to sex. It is you who have to keep control if you want the guy to stick around you. Don't give them free sex make them work very hard for it. If they really want a relationship with you they will wait for it. I know why you were expecting the guy to fall in love with you after only a night stand. Relationships are more than that you known... it takes more than one night of sex for a guy to want a serious relationship with a women. I have a lot of guy friends and they talk about this they don't take seriously girls who give in so early. They think women like this are easy and not gf material. Because they think if you did it with them you most likely do it with every men you just meet. So next time don't make it so easy for the guy if you want a relationship with him. Show him you respect yourself and that you're go material. Good luck You obviously did not read everything - otherwise you would not have written what you did. What makes you think I don't respect myself? I have no interest in a guy that would judge a woman as non gf material because she has a sex drive and believes in being treated with respect - regardless of what her 'tastes' are. Why would I want a guy like that??? Most of what you have written has nothing to do with this thread or anything that makes any sense to me. I'm sorry that you think women should not have sex when they want to. I don't understand you way of thinking but each to their own.
Terry8889 Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 (edited) Well that is just your opinion but your reality says otherwise. The guy used you for a night and then completely ignored you. You're asking why he disappeared after the told you he more than liked you?? He does not contact you because guys DO NOT respect easy women or at least they do not take them serious to establish relationship with them. I am not saying it is wrong for a girl to have an open sex life. You are free to have as many night stands as you want, but do not expect to have a guy "fall in love with you" afterwards. Edited September 29, 2015 by Terry8889 2
Nemetona Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Well that is just your opinion but your reality says otherwise. The guy used you for a night and then completely ignored you. You're asking why he disappeared after the told you he more than liked you?? He does not contact you because guys DO NOT respect easy women or at least they do not take them serious to establish relationship with them. I am not saying it is wrong for a girl to have an open sex life. You are free to have as many night stands as you want, but do not expect to have a guy "fall in love with you" afterwards. This is all true 1
joseb Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 (edited) This is all true Sorry but I'm a guy and I totally disagree. My best relationships have been with girls I slept with on the first or second night. Personally I find girls that are "holding out" often have a lower sex drive or are using sex as a manipulation tool, and are more likely to manipulate you in other ways. Each to their own. Edited September 29, 2015 by joseb 2
Author siriusp Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 This is all true I don't know what kind of lives you have lived but - in my life - I've started several relationships with one night stands. Most of my friends married one night stands - so maybe where you live it's different but that's not been my experience in life. 1
Author siriusp Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 Well that is just your opinion but your reality says otherwise. The guy used you for a night and then completely ignored you. You're asking why he disappeared after the told you he more than liked you?? He does not contact you because guys DO NOT respect easy women or at least they do not take them serious to establish relationship with them. I am not saying it is wrong for a girl to have an open sex life. You are free to have as many night stands as you want, but do not expect to have a guy "fall in love with you" afterwards. I think you didn't read the entire thread. He did not ignore me after the one night stand. We had plenty of contact..... I got upset because he made plans to see me and then didn't get in touch - that was weeks after our one night stand.... or maybe I should say two night stand(!) Why do you think he 'used' me? I do not feel used - it was a mutual thing.... I was there too.... I had a wonderful time with him - how is that being used? Your way of thinking is very strange for me...... but as another poster said - each to their own.
Nemetona Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 I don't know what kind of lives you have lived but - in my life - I've started several relationships with one night stands. Most of my friends married one night stands - so maybe where you live it's different but that's not been my experience in life. Your recent posts show that these one night stands don't always work out well though. 1
Author siriusp Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 Your recent posts show that these one night stands don't always work out well though. Yes. That's true - to a point. This last one night stand knocked me off balance. I never felt anything like this for anybody before. I never experienced anything this intense with another person. From the way he wrote to me afterwards - as well as the time we spent together - I thought he felt the same. Depending on how you look at it - you could say my last one night stand did not work out well or it worked out too well...... From my point of view - it was a fantastic experience and I wouldn't change it for the world. I loved meeting him and loved his company and the sex was wonderful - I hadn't expected to feel so much as I was not looking for a relationship - but it just happened. I became very curious about him. I have accepted that he may not feel the same and I'm ok with that now. It was very confusing at first to think that he came on so strong and then disappeared...... I believe he got freaked out - as I did. What we had was very intense. I certainly don't regret it for a second!
Nemetona Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Martaldn _ thanks for your post. I know that's what he wants. After reading all the replies on LS and having time to think about everything - it's difficult to ignore the facts. Funnily enough - when he comes on strong - I freak out and want to run so I am not really into a relationship either. I'd like a short relationship - you know for a while to see what's like - but I don't know if that's possible..... I wasn't looking for anybody when I met him - not interested - we just met by accident and he surprised me. A relationship with him is not a possibility because he does not want a relationship with you. Men who are interested in a woman do not behave the way he has. 2
Author siriusp Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 A relationship with him is not a possibility because he does not want a relationship with you. Men who are interested in a woman do not behave the way he has. Absolutely - to be honest - after seeing his recent behavior - It made me realise that his issues are probably worse than I thought. I know he has some problems but I didn't expect him to behave so bizarrely. It makes me feel a bit sad for him but it is easier for me to let go..... it's a pity as I would like to have gotten to know him better. But the Universe has other plans for me - it seems! 1
Nemetona Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Absolutely - to be honest - after seeing his recent behavior - It made me realise that his issues are probably worse than I thought. I know he has some problems but I didn't expect him to behave so bizarrely. It makes me feel a bit sad for him but it is easier for me to let go..... it's a pity as I would like to have gotten to know him better. But the Universe has other plans for me - it seems! What are the problems that he has? Some mental health issues?
Author siriusp Posted September 30, 2015 Author Posted September 30, 2015 What are the problems that he has? Some mental health issues? I think he has mental health issues - he has an extreme fear of rejection. I also think he possibly has a weed addiction. A relationship is not possible with him - but it's also not possible with me. I wasn't looking for a relationship but when I met him - I wanted to get to know him better and enjoyed our time together. He surprised me. At this stage I think it's better I don't see him again - it will not be good for either one of us.
Nemetona Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 I think he has mental health issues - he has an extreme fear of rejection. I also think he possibly has a weed addiction. A relationship is not possible with him - but it's also not possible with me. I wasn't looking for a relationship but when I met him - I wanted to get to know him better and enjoyed our time together. He surprised me. At this stage I think it's better I don't see him again - it will not be good for either one of us. Someone with these issues doesn't sound like a great catch 1
Author siriusp Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 Another update! He got in touch again and explained his lack of contact. Everything made sense. We have decided to meet again but - as friends and see what happens. It seems we are both on the same page....... I feel a massive relief as I really started doubting myself. We had a great time together and I couldn't believe he would disappear like that. It made no sense. Now everything is clear and I feel very happy. I was not looking for a relationship but I did want to get to know him better. I found him very interesting. Thank you to all that posted replies. It is always interesting to have different perspectives. It is also interesting to see how - in the end - the person posting is the person that has all the facts of their situation and will be better able to judge what is really going on.
katiegrl Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 Well that is just your opinion but your reality says otherwise. The guy used you for a night and then completely ignored you. You're asking why he disappeared after the told you he more than liked you?? He does not contact you because guys DO NOT respect easy women or at least they do not take them serious to establish relationship with them. I am not saying it is wrong for a girl to have an open sex life. You are free to have as many night stands as you want, but do not expect to have a guy "fall in love with you" afterwards. My boyfriend (now fiancé ) and I had sex the first night we met, and we are engaged and getting married next year..... :bunny: 1
Redhead14 Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 My boyfriend (now fiancé ) and I had sex the first night we met, and we are engaged and getting married next year..... :bunny: Yes, but did he disappear for a month afterward? I am very suspect of this guy. I knew he would pop up again. I hope she's right, but . . . 1
katiegrl Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 (edited) Oops sorry, misread Redhead's post! Edited October 1, 2015 by katiegrl
katiegrl Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 (edited) Yes, but did he disappear for a month afterward? I am very suspect of this guy. I knew he would pop up again. I hope she's right, but . . . No he didn't, but I wasn't responding to that. I was responding to Terry saying no man respects or wants a RL with a woman he has sex with easily. Which isn't true..... Yes I am very suspect of him too! OP, DON'T have sex with him....which I have a feeling is the reason he's back around again.. Edited October 1, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Author siriusp Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 That's nice. But I don't plan to sleep with him again - even though it was amazing before - I do not want to have a friends with benefits story. We seem to - after a long chat - want the same things. Before we slept together - it was a friends thing and couldn't stop talking to each other. I have tones more questions for him and he does for me...... The sex sort of confused things and got in the way. We both want to be friends. That makes me very happy. I don't think he is suitable for a relationship as he seems to have a lot of 'issues' that he needs to deal with. I do not want to get involved with anybody and especially not someone with so many problems..... (I have enough of my own)! So far the outcome is good - I will post again if anything remarkable happens but I don't expect anything other than (hopefully) a nice friendship.
stillafool Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 (edited) []]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] Edited October 1, 2015 by stillafool
Author siriusp Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 Because he did like you and enjoyed the sex when he was there. You are probably a nice person why wouldn't he like you? I'm sure the sex you had with him was memorable for a small time. What happened is he is back in his country and back on line looking for another hook up with someone else. Men are visual and if you aren't in a relationship with them they are interested in what they can see that's near them. You are too far away. This is your clue that you are not cut out for one night stands because you get too attached. I think the next time you should wait for a relationship. This guy is gone. Thank you for posting but - the story has moved on quite a bit since I posted it - sometime ago.....if you read the thread you will understand!
stillafool Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 That's nice. But I don't plan to sleep with him again - even though it was amazing before - I do not want to have a friends with benefits story. We seem to - after a long chat - want the same things. Before we slept together - it was a friends thing and couldn't stop talking to each other. I have tones more questions for him and he does for me...... The sex sort of confused things and got in the way. We both want to be friends. That makes me very happy. I don't think he is suitable for a relationship as he seems to have a lot of 'issues' that he needs to deal with. I do not want to get involved with anybody and especially not someone with so many problems..... (I have enough of my own)! So far the outcome is good - I will post again if anything remarkable happens but I don't expect anything other than (hopefully) a nice friendship. Just don't fool yourself. You were pretty "gone" over this guy earlier. Are you sure you can handle only friendship? 2
Author siriusp Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 Just don't fool yourself. You were pretty "gone" over this guy earlier. Are you sure you can handle only friendship? Yes and yes. Over time I realised he had some serious issues and that made me think twice. I still want to get to know him but I am not interested in a relationship and especially not with someone that has 'issues'. If we meet up and I find that I can't handle a friendship - at least I will have it out of my system and I will get to see him and get to know him a bit better... like I said we both have a lot of questions for each other.
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