bbcc10192 Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 (edited) I was in a nightclub last night when me and this girl started talking. Our conversation was going well, so I asked if she wanted to get a drink. So I bought us both drinks, and we went to the smoking area. I knew by then it was going somewhere and, sure enough, when we sat down she knelt in closer to me. We began to touch and kiss, and for the next hour we had generally good chemistry - kissing and touching and having a good conversation. I took a strong likening to this girl and would like to see her again, but I suppose there are 2 main things which I'm stuck on: (1) Not sure just how much she was attracted to me. As I said we kissed and touched a lot, and she was very much into the kissing. But she did joke with me at the start saying ''So you're ginger... I can tell by the lack of eyebrows''. She wasn't being mean or rude, just joking about. Then later on she looked at me and goes ''you're actually kinda cute''. Not meaning to over-analyse but ''kinda cute'' to me means more like ''Hmmmm you're not the best looking guy but there is something endearing about you''. (2) I got her facebook and e-mail address, and she was asking me for my snapchat.... but there was some reason that she said there was no point in her giving me my number. I forget what it was, but she was going on about her not being able to receive texts on her phone at the moment... or something along those lines . She sounded genuine when she was explaining it; but I'm basically wondering if there is a plausible reason for a girl saying there was no point giving me her number... aside from lack of interest of course.? Any ways I sent her an e-mail today because I couldn't find her facebook initially... I did find it later today, but that was after I sent her the e-mail. I'm not going to add her on fb now because that would look desperate, so I guess I'm just going to wait to see if she e-mails me back - she might not check her e-mails often, however. P.s.: I didn't sleep with this girl. I asked if she was interested in coming back, but she said she had to get a taxi back with her friend as they both live far away. When I suggested hers, she said she couldn't because she lives with her parents. Edited October 18, 2015 by bbcc10192
Versacehottie Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 She sure sounds interested and attracted to you. Making out in a nightclub means all her friends and other people there can see or know she's outside making out with a guy. That's a decent stamp of approval. You are overthinking it. "you're kinda cute" is not meant to be taken literally as in "kinda". It's playful and fun. Means she is giving you a compliment without going over the top--as is appropriate for first time, in a club hooking up. It's all good. I agree about not adding her on FB. When she emails back, you can bring it up into the conversation if you are desperate to be FB friends. More importantly, do you want to be FB friends or take her on a real date? Put your focus on asking her on a date IMO. Shows confidence and not much stock in trivial things. Shows that you think she is amazing and you had fun.
Author bbcc10192 Posted October 19, 2015 Author Posted October 19, 2015 She sure sounds interested and attracted to you. Making out in a nightclub means all her friends and other people there can see or know she's outside making out with a guy. That's a decent stamp of approval. You are overthinking it. "you're kinda cute" is not meant to be taken literally as in "kinda". It's playful and fun. Means she is giving you a compliment without going over the top--as is appropriate for first time, in a club hooking up. It's all good. I agree about not adding her on FB. When she emails back, you can bring it up into the conversation if you are desperate to be FB friends. More importantly, do you want to be FB friends or take her on a real date? Put your focus on asking her on a date IMO. Shows confidence and not much stock in trivial things. Shows that you think she is amazing and you had fun. I agree with what you're saying, in that my experience with her in the nightclub all points to signs of interest and attraction. I guess what I'm wondering though is whether she saw me as just a 'once off' or just 'something fun to do' kind of thing... But as noone here is a mind reader, that is beyond evaluation!
Versacehottie Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 I agree with what you're saying, in that my experience with her in the nightclub all points to signs of interest and attraction. I guess what I'm wondering though is whether she saw me as just a 'once off' or just 'something fun to do' kind of thing... But as noone here is a mind reader, that is beyond evaluation! Yes, no one here is a mind reader. Some of us can point you in the right direction though: there's one way to find out if you were a one-off or there could be something more--ask her out properly. don't be hypersensitive but you will have your answer in 1-2 times of trying to schedule something with her. Be confident. I also doubt she would have hung in there for a full hour if you were a one-off. 1
Author bbcc10192 Posted October 19, 2015 Author Posted October 19, 2015 Cool. Last thing though: What if she doesn't e-mail back within the next week? Should I presume she's not interested.... or should I perhaps presume she might not check her e-mails much, and add her on facebook?
phineas Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 I don't goto nightclubs but from what the younger kids tell me, grinding and making out is the standard in these places. She may like you or she just liked you that night and she liked someone else the next night. Also, no number? Sounds sketchy. Even if her texting was broke, for how long would a woman in today's age go without getting that fixed? All you can do is go for it, maybe she responds maybe she doesn't but if she is your typical club girl then I'd be prepared for a rollercoaster ride if you try to date her.
Author bbcc10192 Posted October 19, 2015 Author Posted October 19, 2015 No point in me analysing or guessing any further, so I guess I just have to be practical about it from now. I e-mailed her nearly 24 hours ago, and there has been no response yet. How often she checks her e-mail is another question. I did eventually find her facebook, but that was after I e-mailed her. I'm not going to add her on facebook, just in case she has read the e-mail... that will make me look desperate. Surely she checks her e-mail once a week any ways. So I guess just wait and see if she replies to my e-mail by next weekend? If she does, then next step. If not, forget and move on. 1
Versacehottie Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Cool. Last thing though: What if she doesn't e-mail back within the next week? Should I presume she's not interested.... or should I perhaps presume she might not check her e-mails much, and add her on facebook? Um, I wouldn't. People check their emails in a week. If she doesn't reply she's not interested and trying to reach her through another avenue won't help your case. The only thing that will, is you not looking affected by her not reaching out. Don't go to the desperate side.
Author bbcc10192 Posted October 20, 2015 Author Posted October 20, 2015 Yeah, I definitely won't add her on fb any ways. I'm not too optimistic. The 'no point giving number' scenario doesn't really add up does it, despite her sounding genuine when explaining it. Plus most people would have checked their e-mails from Sat night by now.... especially if she did have interest, she would have went out of her way to check to see if I e-mailed her.
Author bbcc10192 Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 So i's been a week and she never e-mailed me back. I'm tempted to add her on facebook now, just in case she's the type who never checks her e-mails. But I don't see any point at the same time.
fitnessfan365 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 So i's been a week and she never e-mailed me back. I'm tempted to add her on facebook now, just in case she's the type who never checks her e-mails. But I don't see any point at the same time. So she doesn't email you back and your instinct tells you to try and add her on FB? That's basically the same equivalent of repeatedly texting a girl telling yourself "She probably never received it".
Author bbcc10192 Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 So she doesn't email you back and your instinct tells you to try and add her on FB? That's basically the same equivalent of repeatedly texting a girl telling yourself "She probably never received it". Meh, it sort of is and sort of isn't. Everyone checks their phone everyday; certain people won't always check their e-mails though. There is a chance she might be one of those people who checks her e-mails once in a blue moon.... but then again the average person will check their e-mail at least once a week, so I guess you're right.
katiegrl Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 (edited) She's not interested. 1. She refused to give you her phone number, because her phone doesn't allow her to receive texts? Calling BS on that one. 2. She gave you her email, even though she rarely, if ever, checks it? More BS. Does this make any sense to anyone? Really???? Like most who have a cell phone, of course her phone receives texts, she didn't give you her number cuz she probably already has a bf.... Like most people who have email, she checks it regularly (every few days, at least once a week at most), read your message and is choosing to ignore. This is a no brainer IMO. She has a bf, went out with her friends one night, had some drinks, a little flirting for ego boost, and back to her life with her bf. Not uncommon for some women unfortunately. Sorry, OP, just let this one go, she is not interested, nor available..... My two cents FWIW. Edited October 25, 2015 by katiegrl
Author bbcc10192 Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 She's not interested. 1. She refused to give you her phone number, because her phone doesn't allow her to receive texts? Calling BS on that one. 2. She gave you her email, even though she rarely, if ever, checks it? More BS. Does this make any sense to anyone? Really???? Like most who have a cell phone, of course her phone receives texts, she didn't give you her number cuz she probably already has a bf.... Like most people who have email, she checks it regularly (every few days, at least once a week at most), read your message and is choosing to ignore. This is a no brainer IMO. She has a bf, went out with her friends one night, had some drinks, a little flirting for ego boost, and back to her life with her bf. Not uncommon for some women unfortunately. Sorry, OP, just let this one go, she is not interested, nor available..... Yeah I agree with everything you said... except the boyfriend part - chances are she just didn't find me that attractive; rather I was just a fun option when drunk I guess I just restarted this thread as a means of clinging onto false hope!
katiegrl Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 (edited) Yeah I agree with everything you said... except the boyfriend part - chances are she just didn't find me that attractive; rather I was just a fun option when drunk I guess I just restarted this thread as a means of clinging onto false hope! Not sure why you wouldn't consider that she has a bf. Do you know many women pull that type of crap, for an ego boost, for the attention, to prove to themselves they're still hot...because they're drunk, etc etc etc? A LOT! Whatevs, doesn't matter. She wouldn't give you her phone number, has not emailed you back = not interested. Edited October 25, 2015 by katiegrl
Versacehottie Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Yeah, she doesn't sound interested. If she hasn't gotten back to you in a week, that's no bueno. Listen if she was looking forward to hearing from the guy she made out with last week, chances are she is checking the ways he has to communicate with her, in your case email. She sounds flakey. don't take it personally. or jump to the conclusion that she thinks you're not cute. She could just be in a stage of her life where she is not wanting to date anyone seriously. Don't add her on FB. That would be pathetic and humiliating. Rise above. There is a one in a million chance she didn't get your email; all the other possibilities is that she got it and ignored it. Hang in there and move onto the next. Work on your self-esteem about looks particularly. You should not be jumping to the conclusion that she doesn't think you are good looking so quickly. Do both mental work and work on the outside on your actual looks so that you can shore yourself up. Good luck! You will be fine.
thecrucible Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Yeah, she doesn't sound interested. If she hasn't gotten back to you in a week, that's no bueno. Listen if she was looking forward to hearing from the guy she made out with last week, chances are she is checking the ways he has to communicate with her, in your case email. She sounds flakey. don't take it personally. or jump to the conclusion that she thinks you're not cute. She could just be in a stage of her life where she is not wanting to date anyone seriously. Don't add her on FB. That would be pathetic and humiliating. Rise above. There is a one in a million chance she didn't get your email; all the other possibilities is that she got it and ignored it. Hang in there and move onto the next. Work on your self-esteem about looks particularly. You should not be jumping to the conclusion that she doesn't think you are good looking so quickly. Do both mental work and work on the outside on your actual looks so that you can shore yourself up. Good luck! You will be fine. Agree with this. OP, may have nothing to do with you at all. I wouldn't add her on Facebook. Just move onto the next thing. I speak from experience. I went through a phase of my life a couple of years ago where I was too heartbroken to date anyone seriously. I may have snogged some guys I met when out with my friends but it never went anywhere - some of them would ask me out or add me on Facebook but I'd never respond because I wasn't interested in anything. I don't speak for all situations but sometimes the fact the woman is kissing you so quickly is a pretty bad sign. I'm looking for something real this time so the last thing I want to do is kiss someone I've just met that evening. The thought of it makes me pretty uncomfortable to be honest. So please don't feel bad, OP. Just put it down to experience. 1
thecrucible Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 P.S. OP, I doubt it has anything to do with your looks. She obviously found you attractive as you were kissing her. So chin up and go and use your charms on the next lovely lady Example, I once got to know a really attractive guy when out to the point of kissing him. I was soo attracted to him. But then we had a chat that night and I concluded from that that we would never get on in a relationship as we were so different - different backgrounds and interests and that sort of thing. So it can be all sorts of reasons but just assume it has nothing to do with you. It's not work worrying about. 1
Author bbcc10192 Posted November 4, 2015 Author Posted November 4, 2015 I joined tinder last week, and happened to come across her during a 'swipe session'. I swiped right... she didn't. So that's all the proof I need. Guess she simple saw me as a 'once off', as I predicted!
Versacehottie Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 I joined tinder last week, and happened to come across her during a 'swipe session'. I swiped right... she didn't. So that's all the proof I need. Guess she simple saw me as a 'once off', as I predicted! oh I'm really sorry. sometimes a person's actions are unexplainable. You want to stack the decks in your favor though so try not to "predict" negative things about yourself or you will find that a self-fulfilling prophecy. Good luck swiping with other girls
xUnknown Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 I joined tinder last week, and happened to come across her during a 'swipe session'. I swiped right... she didn't. So that's all the proof I need. Guess she simple saw me as a 'once off', as I predicted! Just because it didn't come up as a match, doesn't mean she didn't swipe right on you. She could have popped up on yours, however, you not even came up on hers. Or, she hasn't logged on in a while. I can swipe on someone then months later they swipe on me and we'll match. You and her don't pop up on eachothers at the same time...it doesn't work that way. Chin up man. Personally, I think she had a BF like described above.
Recommended Posts