Stage5Clinger Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 I have two questions for women who are "just looking to have fun". What would it take for you to take a relationship seriously?Did you decide you would only "have fun" after going through a long term relationship breakup?
PinkElephants Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 #2 first. Yes and no. The first time it was in response to turning 19 and I just wanted some fun. That lasted for a few years. The second was in response to a break up. In the year+ that I was in fun-mode, I was with 3 guys. All 3 wanted a relationship. 2 of them were worth settling down for and 1 wasn't. #1 He has to be worth giving up all other options for. I have to be confident that I won't find better in order to give up the possibility of finding it. 1
mystikmind2005 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 #2 first. Yes and no. The first time it was in response to turning 19 and I just wanted some fun. That lasted for a few years. The second was in response to a break up. In the year+ that I was in fun-mode, I was with 3 guys. All 3 wanted a relationship. 2 of them were worth settling down for and 1 wasn't. #1 He has to be worth giving up all other options for. I have to be confident that I won't find better in order to give up the possibility of finding it. Insightful See, that is the thing isn't it, for the very 'right' partner, it is almost miraculous how all these seemingly calved in stone priorities can suddenly change. I am always seeing stories where some man or woman tells this person they are not ready to be in a relationship, then suddenly become in a relationship with someone else. The dumped person does not get what happened.... see above paragraph for what happened!!
basil67 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I am always seeing stories where some man or woman tells this person they are not ready to be in a relationship, then suddenly become in a relationship with someone else. The dumped person does not get what happened.... see above paragraph for what happened!! I too, have seen this countless times. I think it showed that they simply hadn't met Mr/Ms Right. 1
Bobbi7 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I too, have seen this countless times. I think it showed that they simply hadn't met Mr/Ms Right. Damn! That is like an arrow shot to the heart, all the times that I was with guys and they said, "I'm not looking for a relationship." Which meant, not wanting one with ME. 2
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I started dating again at age 40 after being married for 20 years, about 7-8 of those sexless. Sooo, when I became single and was ready to date again all I wanted was to "have fun". The last thing I wanted or needed was another serious relationship. I was making up for lost time and I make no apologies for that. It was exactly what I needed at that particular moment in my life. Since then I've been very open to being in a relationship and have but it really boils down to meeting the right man at the right time.
impatiently_patient Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 What exactly does "have fun" mean? Basically cycle around through random D? 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 What exactly does "have fun" mean? Basically cycle around through random D? I can't speak for others but for me it just meant that I wanted to enjoy myself and date. I didn't want to commit to any one person since I just came out of a 20 year relationship. It didn't mean I went out and f*cked every man that looked in my direction. I'm much too discerning for that to ever happen but I wasn't a nun either. 3
impatiently_patient Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I can't speak for others but for me it just meant that I wanted to enjoy myself and date. I didn't want to commit to any one person since I just came out of a 20 year relationship. It didn't mean I went out and f*cked every man that looked in my direction. I'm much too discerning for that to ever happen but I wasn't a nun either. I guess I didn't think of the dating part, because dating to me anyway, is the opposite of fun. Some people enjoy it I guess. It's an awkward job interview scenero to me.
Author Stage5Clinger Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 What exactly does "have fun" mean? Basically cycle around through random D? That's definitely another confusing subject. When a girl tells me she just wants to "have fun" I struggle not to think she's asking me to sleep with her.
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I guess I didn't think of the dating part, because dating to me anyway, is the opposite of fun. Some people enjoy it I guess. It's an awkward job interview scenero to me. Oooh believe me, dating or rather OLD did get old, very old. It was exciting in the beginning (again) because I was "free" to just be whatever and do whatever. As many wonderful men as I met there were just as many questionable and shady characters too and the whole process began to wear me down. Some people love it but I am not one of them, at least not anymore. Now that I'm single again I have slight anxiety just thinking about having to do it all over again at some point Maybe now is the time I should consider becoming a nun
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