depressed00 Posted May 22, 2005 Posted May 22, 2005 I can't even sleep.This bothers me so much.It's been 10 or 11 days since he told me that we should spend some time apart...It's so funny how you can be so happy u feel like ur floating on clouds then all of a sudden feel so so sad...I just can't believe it it just came out the blue. I'll tell the story again...we were 2gether 1year and a couple of months He told me this may 9 in person,may 11 we spoke about it some more on the phone.He told me we're not breakingup he just needs some time.sometime to clear his head with all the stuff he has going on right now...I asked how long he said a month or 2.He said it's not like we're not gonna get back 2gether he said couples take time apart and get back 2gether and there relationship is even stronger than b4......i asked him if he wanted to date other people he said no...i asked u just wanna go out there and have fun he said no...i said 2 him i don't know how u can say u love me and care about me then come and say this 2 me,He said he does love and care about me...i told him that this really bothers me he said u don't think it bothers me too,i said no he asked y i said cuz i don't think u care..he said he does care. He said he cares alot 4 me and that he would never hurt me... i can't even remember the rest im so messed up. After that day he never called again..so i decided 2 callmay 20..i know i should of done the NC but i couldn't help it i actually had an excuses 2 call he owes me money..so we were talking i was telling him how much he owed and he was asking me how i was doing in school with my finals and how im doing overall i said ok.so i asked how is his time alone he said its been busy with work and all,he asked if i met n e guys i said no he said u wouldnt tell me if u did n e way..i asked him if he met any girls he said no...he said he lost his cellphone so his # is off he said he gotta get a new phone(i don't know if thats the truth)..2 make a long story short..He didn't even say he missed me i didn't tell him that either even though i miss him like crazy...should i of told him?? Anyway im still at my faze where i can't sleep eat and i cry and feel like crying all the time...i don't know what 2 do i feel horrible... OH he did this b4 he said he wasn't ready 4 a girlfriend that we should just be friends then kept calling and calling like 3 days after saying he made a mistake he missed me he didn't relize how he felt about me...and i took him back in a couple of weeks..maybe he does this cuz he knows i always take him back??but now he doesnt even call SO what do i do??
Merin Posted May 22, 2005 Posted May 22, 2005 That sucks.. Whats the point in being with someone IF you're not really with them you know? IMO it sounds to me that once your BF finally made the decision and said it outloud that the romantic relationship needed to end, he panicked.. He obviously knows that ending the relationship really did mean it was setting you free to find someone else.. and while it's so wierd how sometimes a person may not really want to be in the relationship, they also don't want the other person to be with anyone else.. just selfish. You're still not getting your needs met in this relationship... and that isn't okay. My guess is this... he will flip flop again. Decide he needs yet another Break... The only person who knows what you can live with is you... I just hate to see you set yourself up for more heart break IF he choses to end the relationship again and I hate it that right now you're still feeling in limbo as to whats really going on with him... Communication is essential to a relationship working out and right now It seems you're to afraid to say anything to him about what you need from him out of fear of "loosing him" and sadly enough, I think he knows that and he's taking advantage of the situation. Hang in there
Cutie_face Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Me and my boyfriend are on a break right now and it absolutely sucks. I feel like i cannot get him out of my head, i have no appetite, i cry myself to sleep and i just want everything to be resolved so much because i want to be with him. My boyfriend is also being extremely vague, just like yours, not really saying that he doesn't want to be with me or that he does, it's just annoying, i wish men would just be honest! My advice to you is to just not lose hope, because when you've lost that, its all over. My boyfriend and I are going to discuss everything once our exams are over and when we have time to spend with each other, and i really hope that he feels honest enough to tell me how he feels. You just have to be strong, and remember that losing hope is never good, we aren't even telling each other we love each other anymore, i just think that this time apart for my relationship is a good sign that we want to resolve things, at least we are not broken up.
TheBarnacle Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by depressed00 IOH he did this b4 he said he wasn't ready 4 a girlfriend that we should just be friends then kept calling and calling like 3 days after saying he made a mistake he missed me he didn't relize how he felt about me...and i took him back in a couple of weeks..maybe he does this cuz he knows i always take him back??but now he doesnt even call SO what do i do?? first of all, sorry dep. it IS very hard. but as a guy who's done this very thing more than once (yes, shameful, i'm an @$$), you need to take care of yourself first. get control. stop the contact. greive. move on. do NOT let him use you as his crutch while he "figures things out". you won't do you or him any good. if there IS ever to be a chance for the two of you, it won't happen if he never gets a chance to figure out whatever it is holding him back and you never get a chance to move on yourself. guys (immature guys) like to have their cake and eat it too. i hate cliches, but this one is dead on for this type of situation that is all too common. i don't absolve men of being weak, manipulative, etc., but women need to NOT let men do this to them. dep, take care of yourself first. don't let him waffle. it's hard. it's sad. but you will be much better for it in the long run.
Depressed00 Posted May 31, 2005 Posted May 31, 2005 Thanks for the replies guys.... WELL, I finally decided to go out sat night. ACTUALLY, my friends came over and made me get dressed to go out ... (I haven't been out of my house in days) ... We went to a bar/lounge in Manhattan. It was nice, but I really didn't feel like going out. Anyway I had a few drinks and I really don't drink i just wanted to get my BF/EX(don't even know what he is) off my mind, even for a little while. BUT, the alcohol made me feel even WORSE! ALL I kept thinking about was him ... what he was doing, who he was with ... he's probably saying all the things he used to say 2 me 2 sum 1 else. BLAH BLAH... I saw all the couples and I remembered all the times we had together and I felt like I had the biggest knot in my throat. All I felt like doing was crying ... but I held it in There were a lot of guys there, a lot of sailors and Navy guys. I had a few guys approach me, BUT I really didn't feel comfortable, so they gave me their #. I didn't give mine. I can't really see myself with someone else. At the end of the night (well early morning) on our way home, a song came on on the radio that used to be his ringtone for when he called me. I started to cry (we use to call each other like ten times a day). It's a good thing that I don't have his new #, or I would've probably called and said something stupid. ANYWAY, I tried to have fun that night, but I couldn't. All I kept thinking about was him. Every little thing reminded me of him ... I feel like I'm going crazy. HE has not called and I haven't called him (even though I want to). If HE wants to call he will call, right? I guess he doesn't feel like talking to me ... think he'll call? ANYWAY, I really don't know what to do about anything anymore. ANY ADVICE? PLEASE?
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