Christeliatus Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 I am new to this. I have been dating my ex for 2 1/2 years and lived together for 1 year. He broke up with me because he feels like after I graduate with my master degree in 2 years, I will not want to be with him. He doesn't have a college degree & working a minimum wage job. He wants to take things to the next level with me but cannot do that because of his current situation and that hurts him. He said that he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now until he gets his life together. He applied to go back to school & will be working two jobs soon. I tried to convince him that we can make it work while he's getting his life together and will never leave him no matter what our situation is of things do not turn out good for him. He's currently moving with his parents. I feel like I lost a part of me when we broke up. That was my best friend, supporter, roc, the love of my life, etc. When he first broke up with me, he was crying because he said that it hurts him to be doing this but he has to for himself and us. He told me that he doesn't want me to stop my life and wait for him. I have been crying non stop and unable to focus on anything else. We still keep in touch because of financial obligations. I have yet to tell my parents about the breakup but his family, of course, knows because he moved back in. I'm still hanging onto hope that once his life is straightened out, we will be together. I've been trying so hard to try to focus on myself and moving on but I cannot. I'm just constantly crying and lost any desire to do anything. I push myself out of bed every morning to go to work because I don't want to get fired. I just want to stay home and cry. I started reading this book called "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" but that's not helping me cope with it and move on. Anybody can offer me some advice please
Jersey born raised Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 Hi, Have not read the book, but the premise is spot on. Beside basic genetic difs boys and girls are socialized very differently. Guys conditioning often leads women to say, "what do I have to do to get him to hear me, hit him with a 2 x 4? Err yes actually. Good be a good book. As to his feelings - a feeling of equality is a must in a relationship. To often men confuse this earning ability, women with body image. Tough road, you might need to accept and move on Three other books I heard mentioned a lot His needs, her needs 5 love languages How to survive an affair Not on topic per say but lots of insights Be well
15Love Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 That's really hard when the one you love removes themselves from you because of outside circumstances. This is one thing that women nowadays don't consider. Unless you actively are certain you do not want children you actually DO need a man who has his s*** together. One day you will have a baby (or two) and you will want to give up everything you thought was important to take care of them...and if the man in your life can't let you do that because he can't provide, you will resent him. You will feel like you're carrying it all and he's another child. And all he feels right now, he should be feeling. Let him get himself together. Enjoy your freedom. He'll be back one day, and if he's not...he wasn't the one. 1
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