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Sudden breakup because he doesn't know what he wants


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Posted

Hello, I am new to this site, but I am desperate to find some understanding... Here is my story; I've been dating the same guy for 3 years, we are both divorced, both have one child each from previous marriage. Our relationship was great the first year, I was very untrusting, and suspected cheating always, due to my previous marriage and being cheated on by my husband of 14 years. So the second year was rocky...I went to counseling to help with my trust issues, we got back on track...fast forward to now; in May he gave me a ring, and said that he knew I wasn't ready for marriage, but he wanted me to know that he loved and cared for me deeply. Then the shift happened, we saw less of each other, the texts and phone calls started to diminish...we eventually stop seeing each other for 1.5 months...because according to him, he knew that we weren't going to progress, because of living arrangements, and he didn't expect me to uproot my child from his school and his home....we talked occasionally and eventually got back together. But it was different, we saw each other on a set schedule, the nights he didn't have his child and the nights that I didn't have mine. There were no spur of the moment meetings. In a sense, I felt that we were now friends with benefits...I accepted it because I loved him that much...this past week I had extra time to see him, but he didn't care to see me...finally I asked what we were and shared my concerns about being friends with benefits. I told him that I cared too much to be FWB, and that it just wasn't my style. And he just said that he didn't know what he wants. I suspect their may be a new love interest...but I don't know. He says he loves me and always will. I just don't know what to do. I am so heart broken, I got 0 closure...and I'm just beating myself up over this. Any advise or suggestions would help. Thanks

Posted

Consider yourselves completely broken up. Don't continue to see him in any capacity because it will only hurt you in the end. He doesn't want anything serious with you now and you care too much about him to just sleep with him casually. It's time to move on from him.

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Posted

Insecurity can wreck a relationship fast. It does sound like he has someone new around. I agree go NC and heal. Honey he can't give you closure only you can give that to yourself.

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