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Is my ex rebounding / posting social media/ just to hurt me?

Bella1368

By Bella1368
in General Relationship Discussion

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Bella1368 New Member

Bella1368

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My ex and I had a great relationship but too soon into it he was pressuring me to get married. I wanted to wait awhile. Because of this I did break it off with him but only to slow things down. He did not take that very well and within 2 weeks posted a new relationship all over on social media! I mean all over! And he has been posting tons of pics of them together! And posting things that we loved to do. Beach etc. When he was with me he was NEVER on social media. Barely posted anything. Now he is posting like a mad man, Using the hashtags #winning #happy #shesaysimhertype etc. He is 50, she is 25. I feel this is a rebound and he is doing this just to hurt me. I have never been in this situation before so any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

 

Thank you!

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Normally I would say no. When EXs go off & live their lives, that is usually what they are doing, living with no thought let alone scheme about the EX. However in this case, given that he was pressuring you for marriage too soon he might be immature & twisted enough to do this. IMO that would be more evidence that you dodged a bullet. My suggestion: block him from social media If you can't see what he's posting he can't upset you.

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mike_89 Established Member

mike_89

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Yeah just block or at least unfollow everything about him (his accounts, his friends accounts, family, everything) so you won't see that stuff.

If you can't keep yourself from checking his Facebook or Twitter or whatever it is, you could easily block that website so you can't access it just like that. You can do without them, it is easy to block those websites and it is also very easy to unblock them again, but it takes enough time to think to yourself "should I really go on this site? I will probably stalk my ex again. I should not do this".

Check 2. Restrict Access To Facebook

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Madame_Noire Established Member

Madame_Noire

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Just block him and delete him from your life. Are you still on his list of 'friends' or are you consciously searching for him online? He sounds very immature if he rushed into wanting to get married and now feels he has to broadcast his life on social media. Lonely and sad people do that, project that their life is great online, when really, we all know it isn't. Surely, if your life is so great, your true friends will see it and you will be humble with it. When I say 'your life' I am not talking about you personally, I am talking about the general masses.

 

I am 32 and do not brag or use silly, soppy hashtags online, I couldn't think of anything more embarrassing. That is why I deleted Facebook especially! On Twitter, I just post about things I see in public etc. Besides, When I was on there, I never showboated about my relationship because I would hate to jinx things!

Edited by Madame_Noire
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Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

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It's possible that he may be getting an added thrill from upsetting you in the process, but at the same time, it does sound like he's found what he's looking for and is exuberant about it. He probably thought he never would find it and was really down for a long while. When you've been in a dark place for a long while (maybe even before you), you begin to think that you'll never see the light you so crave, and you feel sad and think maybe you don't deserve it. And then, unexpectedly, the sun suddenly shines so bright on you, and then you're super happy and want to celebrate.

 

If this is upsetting you though, you can always block his posts so you don't see them.

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Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

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2 weeks is rather soon though. lol

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craw Established Member

craw

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I almost threw up reading the first post - 25 and 50?

 

At least it's reassuring a man at 50 still can get it up.

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Bella1368 New Member

Bella1368

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I know! I was so disgusted myself. It's also embarrassing for him! He is an actor and she is a wannabe actress so I guess they are both just using each other.

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Bella1368 New Member

Bella1368

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Thank you. Yes, he was in a dark space for a long time and when he met me he was flying high. Everything he told me he is now telling her so I am thinking he just can't be alone. It's easier for him to do this than face reality. I just find the excessive posting versus when he was with me he was never on social media. Makes me think he has a mission to hurt me.

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Bella1368 New Member

Bella1368

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Madame Noire, Mike_89 and Donnivain,

 

Thank you. I so agree! Why the need to broadcast daily how happy you are when before you were never even on there. When he was with me there was no need. Now it is constant! I believe he is with her as a band aid and they might continue on with their relationship but the core of this was to keep him busy from dealing with reality and to hurt me. This vindictive behavior though has severed any hope of us ever getting back together. I have blocked everything! :) Thank you!!

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Bella1368 New Member

Bella1368

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@MadamNoire,

 

So funny you say that too. I feel the same way about jinxing things!

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Madame_Noire Established Member

Madame_Noire

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Let me guess, I bet loads of his 'friends' online are liking his status and pictures when he talks about them... I can guarantee these friends are thinking it is cringeworthy too... but doing the done thing by clicking that blasted like button! SHEEP I TELL YOU.... SHEEP! LOL

 

I am scared to jinx things and I have been with my man for over 6 years!

Madame_Noire Established Member

Madame_Noire

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Madame Noire, Mike_89 and Donnivain,

 

Thank you. I so agree! Why the need to broadcast daily how happy you are when before you were never even on there. When he was with me there was no need. Now it is constant! I believe he is with her as a band aid and they might continue on with their relationship but the core of this was to keep him busy from dealing with reality and to hurt me. This vindictive behavior though has severed any hope of us ever getting back together. I have blocked everything! :) Thank you!!

 

No problem... besides, I think he is going through some sort of midlife crisis. What next, is he going to buy some Jordans or DCs? Dear lord! LOL

 

Just do you and be happy. That is all that matters. :bunny:

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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My ex and I had a great relationship but too soon into it he was pressuring me to get married. I wanted to wait awhile. Because of this I did break it off with him but only to slow things down. He did not take that very well and within 2 weeks posted a new relationship all over on social media! I mean all over! And he has been posting tons of pics of them together! And posting things that we loved to do. Beach etc. When he was with me he was NEVER on social media. Barely posted anything. Now he is posting like a mad man, Using the hashtags #winning #happy #shesaysimhertype etc. He is 50, she is 25. I feel this is a rebound and he is doing this just to hurt me. I have never been in this situation before so any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

 

Thank you!

 

Wow, I didn't expect you to say he is 50.

 

I've had it happen before. I had an ex who when he was with me didn't really use social media that much or at least was low key about our relationship on there then we broke up and he became the FB King after and soon started posting all the time about whatever new woman he had, they would all last about 2-3 months, and he got several of them. He posted NON-STOP and I had to hide his posts until I eventually had to delete him altogether. Meanwhile after each breakup he would reach out to me or ask to see me or would do it while still with them. It was a mess.

 

While your ex is likely doing this to make himself feel better and to stick it to you, you're better off hiding his updates so you don't see them automatically. I will say that in my situation you were like my ex, in that, he asked for us to "take a break" and "try again in the summer." That doesn't make sense. There is no such thing as a break. A break is the exact same thing as breaking up. We can't clock in and out of relationships like if you were clocking out for a break at a job. You can't slow things down by breaking up...that's ending it altogether. So I think you were probably mistaken in how you handled that. While I was in your shoes with seeing an ex post constantly, I was also in your ex's shoes too with someone where it was going well then he decided to ask for a break and I was left not knowing what that meant, as it's very ambiguous. In any event, for your own sanity, hide his constant updates. If you have no desire to get back together, hide and go NC. If you do want to work on things, hide his posts and then reach out to him and see if he would be amenable to working things out maturely.

Edited by MissBee
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Bella1368 New Member

Bella1368

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@MissBee,

 

You are so right. I have acknowledge and accepted I was wrong to ask for a break. Now I see though maybe I knew deep down he was the wrong one. To do what he is doing right now is cruel, vindictive and very immature. His ego was blasted because I wouldn't marry him in the time frame he wanted to I think this is his way of making me pay!!! You know? Like, you don't want me , see who does. When in reality I did want him, I just wanted to slow it down a bit. I guess it's better to see this now versus later. Thank you so much for your response.

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Bella1368 New Member

Bella1368

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@Madame_Noire,

 

That is hilarious! How did you know? Yes!! Everyone is liking their status! Except a few of his close friends who know the truth. Yep, he is 50 and she is 25 and she looks like his daughter! It's disgusting but in his twisted mind he probably thinks it makes him more admiral. So twisted. And... so funny! Yes, he has bought Jordans. I was actually saying it is probably a mid life crisis myself. I guess I was spared and have to trust my instinct that I was right to slow it down but probably should have done better in my delivery. By what he has been posting on social media I am now officially embarrassed that I dated him!

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Bella1368 New Member

Bella1368

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@MissBee @Madame_Noir also I am doing 100% no response, no contact or reaction to what he is doing which I believe is making him do it even more!

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