Sudden break up, ex already with another guy. I'm absolutely crushed.

[louxor]

I've been doing a little bit better for the past couple of days. I had a strange experience two days ago where I was feeling as bad as I ever had, and I watched a 20 minute episode of the show I'm watching right now (The Office). When the episode finished I realized that I felt noticeably more close to normal, and that feeling hasn't gone away yet. I expect it will soon, but I'm enjoying it while it lasts. I don't feel good, but it's like I've exhausted my ability to stay sad - just kind of numb

 

You felt like that because you were doing something that you enjoyed and that made you happy. You subconsciously realised that you can still enjoy yourself without your ex. You'll find that as time goes on and the more things you do that you enjoy, the more common this feeling will be. This is why I always force myself to do things I enjoy the second I start to feel my mood drop (if it's possible). About 15 minutes ago I walked in the door after going for a run because I woke up feeling a bit down. I love running so now my mood is completely flipped and I'm back to feeling better. If I had stayed in bed, I know for a fact I would still be feeling down. It's all about re-programming your subconscious with the fact that life is still fun without my ex - The more you do this, the more it will start to feel real and less forced. But at the beginning, you must have the strength to get yourself up and initiate these things you enjoy doing, even when you don't want to.

 

What I'm most worried about right now is the fact that I think I'm having trouble accepting this situation internally. Even though I understand it, I have this nagging feeling that my ex is in a rebound, this is GIGS, and she'll come back within a few months once she realizes what she's lost and deals with the personal problems that contributed to our breakup. I'm worried that it's this feeling that's keeping me going, and not that I'm actually getting any better, even though (I think) I understand the reality of the situation. I still get ready to text her every day I wake up before remembering what's happened. It's all very confusing and frustrating.

 

This is normal. Everyone goes through the stage of deep down not wanting to accept things the way they are, hoping that their ex was just lost in what they wanted and that they may come back, and to be honest, this hope is a good thing to start with.

 

I know that I used this hope to force myself up and about when I was in my first weeks of my BU. I didn't want to go out but this hope was telling me "Go do this go do that and maybe your ex will realise what she's missing out on". This is what pushed me get up and do fun stuff, which then led me to realise how fun life still is without my ex. This hope was the initial boost I need to get on with my life and stop moping. So now that I've realised how fun my life still is without her, I'm able to keep doing all these fun things now not because of the hope it'll re-attract her to me, but because I actually want to do it now. I hope this makes sense - essentially I used the hope to get me out of the slump, and now it's kind of in the background like "whatever, if she comes back she comes back and if she doesn't she doesn't. I'm still going to enjoy my life either way"

[heartbroken1996]

It does make sense, absolutely. I'm considering my 'real' recovery to have begun with that text telling me to not contact her again, so for the sake of my sanity I'm going to say I'm only 3 days into this, rather than a month. It sounds like time will be the most important healing factor here, and I've survived so far. Ironically, I'm stuck at home for the majority of the week largely because I scheduled my lectures around having more time for her this year, so that's not helping.

 

It's just so traumatic to have the person who has been the most important in your life for almost two years to tell you the last 3 months was a lie, and that they never want to hear from you again. It's like she's a completely different person. Now I'm just venting - I need to hurry up and get on that therapist.

Edited October 23, 2015 by heartbroken1996

[louxor]

for the sake of my sanity I'm going to say I'm only 3 days into this, rather than a month.

 

Yup I agree, go off the fact that she has been out of your life officially for 3 days and that way you'll be able to not feel as bad if you begin to think the progress is slow.

 

I'm stuck at home for the majority of the week largely because I scheduled my lectures around having more time for her this year, so that's not helping

 

Keeping yourself busy is probably the #1 thing I would recommend to you right now. You mustn't stay at home all the time - It will not help you to feel better!! I cannot say this enough, get out of the house man!

 

It doesn't matter why - Need to go grocery shopping? Walk to the shops instead of driving and buy your stuff (if the shops are within reasonable walking distance ). Put in some headphones and just bounce to you favorite tunes. This kills 3 birds with one stone - 1 you're exercising which releases endorphins that make you feel good, 2 you are leaving the house and 3, you are filling up this spare time with productive activity.

 

Too much study to do? Go up to the local library and study there instead of at home. Being in a different environment around other people will change how you feel. You just must not stay at home alone all the time!!

 

It's just so traumatic to have the person who has been the most important in your life for almost two years to tell you the last 3 months was a lie, and that they never want to hear from you again. It's like she's a completely different person. Now I'm just venting - I need to hurry up and get on that therapist.

 

Yes it totally is horrible, but you yourself said right there "It's like she's a completely different person." It's not like she is, she IS a different person. You miss who you remember her to be/who you want her to be. The same can be said about my ex. Sometimes I catch myself missing her for whatever reason and I think about it for a second only to realise that she was never even like that when everything was good. I was missing the person who I wished she was, even though she had never been that!

 

The therapist sounds like a great idea. They will be able to give you a much much more in-depth and experienced understanding/direction in regards to what's bothering you the most.

[heartbroken1996]

I hate to bump an old thread, but it turns out I'm not done with this place like I thought I was.

 

Since I posted here last, a couple of things have happened. I had a brief period where I was finally starting to feel like I was getting a little bit better, and that was nice while it lasted. However, over the last two weeks or so I've been on a steady decline, and tonight I feel almost like I did in the first couple of weeks again. Not good. Nothing has prompted this - I haven't talked to my ex since she said to not contact her, and while I can't help myself from looking at her Twitter occasionally, nothing has been posted there that bothered me. She's still with the guy that I'm starting to believe I was dumped for, and she still hasn't reached out to me despite my thinking that she would have by now. I also received a diagnosis of "very depressed" from my doctor, for which I'm now on medication for.

 

This whole thing is very difficult because I'm normally a very logical person. Unfortunately, this situation is inherently illogical, and trying to come to terms with this has been impossible so far. Rationally I know that all signs point my ex moving on - her actions seem to reflect what she told me. And while I still believe this new relationship is a rebound I was hoping it wouldn't have lasted this long (a month and a half). If she doesn't contact me first I intend to try opening up communication at Christmas as we're going to be in a very small class together in early January and I'd prefer that it not be awkward. I went out of my way to register for that class for her - one required for her program but not mine - so that we could spend more time together this year which was one of her biggest problems with me, so that'll be great.

 

I've also been dabbling in online dating over the past month. I've talked to some great people and been asked out a handful of times, but I can't do it. As much as I'd like a rebound of my own I can't do that to someone else.

 

I just feel like the tiny bit of progress I've made has been lost for no real reason, and the fact that I'm not even close to being over her after two months doesn't bode well for the foreseeable future. I'm at that point where everyone's telling me to move on, and for good reason. And believe me, I've tried, but I just can't. I've tried to take the rose-coloured glasses off but as much as I try I can't frame our relationship as anything but good, and I can't assign blame to anyone but myself for what happened. She was so good to me, but I ****ed it up and now I'd still do anything to get her back when I should be getting over it. I genuinely feel like I'm losing my mind.

Edited November 10, 2015 by heartbroken1996

[hunk]

I'm going to kick your ****ing ass because obviously it hasn't been done yet and you will thank me for this later.

 

You're 19 years old. She is presumably the same age. Guess what. That gooey-romantic everlasting love, "deep connection" and devotion you had all throughout your relationship for her, the obsession and unconditional, wanting to do anything for her? That was exclusive to you buddy. She didn't feel that whatsoever. She enjoyed your company and the way you made her feel at the beginning of the relationship, you were probably cool and fun and interesting and that made her feel good, but she is a 19 year old girl and she OPERATES ON EMOTION AND FEELINGS. She loved how you made her feel, and you stopped making her feel that way, so she stopped loving you. At some point (much sooner after you started dating than you realize) you stopped being cool, sexy, unpredictable, fun etc and turned into a dependent boring loser. Your relationship turned to **** for her, it was mundane while to you it was "comfortable" and "strong". She isn't obligated to stay with you like you feel obligated to stay with her. Once the fun runs out with you, she's done. You ****ed up by being too nice, too predictable, too boring and she just got bored and wanted a new dick. That is literally it. She detached from you and wanted excitement and a new pounding. She wants an exciting guy who's gonna treat her like **** because it arouses her. She will hook up with these guys relentlessly now. She instinctively is repulsed by you right now. You and your behavior is utterly disgusting to her at the moment. That is the hard truth of the world and someone needs to teach you this or you're going to be very goddamn miserable over and over again. She does not want you back and isn't thinking about you. The only way you could spurn any emotion within her besides repulsion towards you is if she finds out you're ****ing a hotter girl than her and partying every night with hot girls. That's it. Anything else is disgusting to her. Thinking about you at home crying? Absolutely repulsive. Getting a text from you asking to work things out? Repulsive. You can see what i'm saying.

 

No matter what she tells you, how she tries to rationalize and justify her actions and feelings, no matter how "confused" and "damaged" she proclaims to be, at the core of every single thing she says and does is the indisputable reality that she just WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH OTHER GUYS WHO AREN'T YOU.

That is the motivation behind

EVERY

SINGLE

BREAKUP.

 

Your ex was no longer attracted to you and wants something new. THAT'S IT.

 

People here just can't seem to accept that and i will probably get flamed by some butthurt members but please understand that is the cold, human truth.

 

I'm not going to tell you that "it's gonna be fine". It will be fine when you man up, realize you're a 19 year old man with a sea of vagina ahead of you and your life is what you make of it. You can sit around and mope over this girl who is going to be sleeping with a new guy within the month, without even THINKING about you. Or you can shake yourself up, take this as a necessary kick to the balls and a wakeup call to the nature of women and relationships, and go and have fun with as many different girls as you can. This girl is not "the one", she isn't special and she doesn't mean jack **** to you. You just became emotionally dependent on her, and the second that happened a switch flicked off in her brain that triggered her to look for a guy who ISN'T emotionally dependent on her - a guy like the guy you were when you first started hooking up. You stopped providing what she was drawn to you for, and when that disappeared, so did her interest and investment in you.

 

Figure out what that was and BE that guy ALWAYS. That's the only way you're going to feel better.

[clam]

Drop the class that's due to start in January. For god's sake, do you want to torture yourself for an entire semester sitting in a small group with her, pining away?

 

You don't need the class for your major, so do a drop/add BEFORE it even starts. Takes 5 minutes at the registrar's office. Problem solved.

 

And whatever you do -- DO NOT call her at Christmas to "discuss" the awkwardness of the class that YOU do not even have to take. This is a terrible idea. It will only make you look weak and pathetic and more repulsive to her. Remember, SHE DOES NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU! She has made that perfectly clear.

 

Drop the class. Move on.

[CT98]

I hate to bump an old thread, but it turns out I'm not done with this place like I thought I was.

 

Since I posted here last, a couple of things have happened. I had a brief period where I was finally starting to feel like I was getting a little bit better, and that was nice while it lasted. However, over the last two weeks or so I've been on a steady decline, and tonight I feel almost like I did in the first couple of weeks again. Not good. Nothing has prompted this - I haven't talked to my ex since she said to not contact her, and while I can't help myself from looking at her Twitter occasionally, nothing has been posted there that bothered me. She's still with the guy that I'm starting to believe I was dumped for, and she still hasn't reached out to me despite my thinking that she would have by now. I also received a diagnosis of "very depressed" from my doctor, for which I'm now on medication for.

 

This whole thing is very difficult because I'm normally a very logical person. Unfortunately, this situation is inherently illogical, and trying to come to terms with this has been impossible so far. Rationally I know that all signs point my ex moving on - her actions seem to reflect what she told me. And while I still believe this new relationship is a rebound I was hoping it wouldn't have lasted this long (a month and a half). If she doesn't contact me first I intend to try opening up communication at Christmas as we're going to be in a very small class together in early January and I'd prefer that it not be awkward. I went out of my way to register for that class for her - one required for her program but not mine - so that we could spend more time together this year which was one of her biggest problems with me, so that'll be great.

 

I've also been dabbling in online dating over the past month. I've talked to some great people and been asked out a handful of times, but I can't do it. As much as I'd like a rebound of my own I can't do that to someone else.

 

I just feel like the tiny bit of progress I've made has been lost for no real reason, and the fact that I'm not even close to being over her after two months doesn't bode well for the foreseeable future. I'm at that point where everyone's telling me to move on, and for good reason. And believe me, I've tried, but I just can't. I've tried to take the rose-coloured glasses off but as much as I try I can't frame our relationship as anything but good, and I can't assign blame to anyone but myself for what happened. She was so good to me, but I ****ed it up and now I'd still do anything to get her back when I should be getting over it. I genuinely feel like I'm losing my mind.

 

It's not even been a month yet, you're still going to be viewing her and the relationship through your rose-tinted specs. It's normal and everyone does it for the first few months I would say - so don't worry about that.

 

Something that may help you; say this new boyfriend is a rebound, and say in a month's time she comes running back to you and begs for forgiveness. Do you really want her back after some other bloke has been doing all sorts of dirty things to and with her? It's very coarse and I apologise to female members of the board, but this is one of the main troubles for men when they're broken up with; the thought of 'their' girl being sexual with another man is enough to drive them insane.

 

You can't ever take her back when another man has been there mate.

[kgcolonel]

I hate to bump an old thread, but it turns out I'm not done with this place like I thought I was.

 

Since I posted here last, a couple of things have happened. I had a brief period where I was finally starting to feel like I was getting a little bit better, and that was nice while it lasted. However, over the last two weeks or so I've been on a steady decline, and tonight I feel almost like I did in the first couple of weeks again. Not good. Nothing has prompted this - I haven't talked to my ex since she said to not contact her, and while I can't help myself from looking at her Twitter occasionally, nothing has been posted there that bothered me. She's still with the guy that I'm starting to believe I was dumped for, and she still hasn't reached out to me despite my thinking that she would have by now. I also received a diagnosis of "very depressed" from my doctor, for which I'm now on medication for.

 

This whole thing is very difficult because I'm normally a very logical person. Unfortunately, this situation is inherently illogical, and trying to come to terms with this has been impossible so far. Rationally I know that all signs point my ex moving on - her actions seem to reflect what she told me. And while I still believe this new relationship is a rebound I was hoping it wouldn't have lasted this long (a month and a half).

I've also been dabbling in online dating over the past month. I've talked to some great people and been asked out a handful of times, but I can't do it. As much as I'd like a rebound of my own I can't do that to someone else.

 

I just feel like the tiny bit of progress I've made has been lost for no real reason, and the fact that I'm not even close to being over her after two months doesn't bode well for the foreseeable future. I'm at that point where If she doesn't contact me first I intend to try opening up communication at Christmas as we're going to be in a very small class together in early January and I'd prefer that it not be awkward. I went out of my way to register for that class for her - one required for her program but not mine - so that we could spend more time together this year which was one of her biggest problems with me, so that'll be great.

everyone's telling me to move on, and for good reason. And believe me, I've tried, but I just can't. I've tried to take the rose-coloured glasses off but as much as I try I can't frame our relationship as anything but good, and I can't assign blame to anyone but myself for what happened. She was so good to me, but I ****ed it up and now I'd still do anything to get her back when I should be getting over it. I genuinely feel like I'm losing my mind.

 

 

This is a huge mistake!!! I am going on what I am seeing here from you. IMO if you are writing your true feelings here, you still want to be with her. If you want that, you are doing everything you can to ensure that doesn't happen. Being the hurt puppy is so unattractive to women. The very best thing you could be doing whether you get back or not is to be strong. Drop that class first of all. That will be like picking a scab every class period you see her. She needs it, you don't. Get out of the class. Secondly, get your butt out and start making yourself socialize. let everyone including you and her see you having a good time, as was said earlier, fake it til you make it. This will either cause her intrigue or change how she sees you.

 

I went through this exact same thing in college. She broke my heart in much the same way. We did get back together but it was never the same. I thank my lucky stars that we did not end up together. I later could see things that while in the fog couldn't see, i.e. cheating, lying etc.

 

First and foremost, look out for yourself and get out to the gym or something for yourself.

[heartbroken1996]

Thanks for the replies everyone - I've got a bit of a clearer head right now than I did when I posted last night.

 

I'm going to kick your ****ing ass because obviously it hasn't been done yet and you will thank me for this later.

 

I needed to hear this. For the most part I don't agree with your evaluation of our relationship - it wasn't overly sexual on either of our parts, and I was definitely not needy. The main reason we broke up was for the opposite reason in that she thought I wasn't giving her enough attention and didn't have feelings for her (obviously this wasn't true or I wouldn't be here). I was a very different person with her than I am on here.

 

Still, this doesn't really matter and the core of your message is true, so thank you.

 

 

 

Drop the class that's due to start in January. For god's sake, do you want to torture yourself for an entire semester sitting in a small group with her, pining away?

 

I wish I could, but I don't think that I can due to the way I had to schedule my year (including this term) around a class that isn't meant to be taken by my major. Honestly, I think it's likely that she'll drop it anyway. I'll have to see.

 

Do you really want her back after some other bloke has been doing all sorts of dirty things to and with her?

 

Nope, I don't. Not so much because of the physical aspects but because I don't trust her at all anymore. This is exactly what I mean about being irrational. I know that the person I was attracted to doesn't exist anymore, and I know that even if this new person came back it would be very difficult to make things work, but if I try to shut off how I feel about this it just gets worse.

 

Being the hurt puppy is so unattractive to women.

 

Oh, I know. She saw a little bit of this the first day after we broke up, but it's not like I'm telling her when I post on here. The last she knew I had some feelings for her but I wasn't going to pursue them. She doesn't know the half of it, I made sure of that.

[louxor]

Here are a couple of quotes I've taken from various places that have helped me greatly in my recovery and I think they will be useful for you to read over every time you are struggling with this. It's all about properly understanding the pain you're going through:

 

Don’t let the pain convince you that what has happened was wrong. Understand that pain is a necessary part of this process - You’re going to feel it, it’s completely human, we all feel it at times. It’s really, really hard, even to lose the wrong person at times.

 

Understanding that you can be in this much pain, not because they were the right person, but because you cared about them and you were able to love is a fundamental distinction. Understanding this means that you will not fall into the trap that many people fall into, which is that “If I feel this much pain, this person must have been right for me”. This is absolutely false. Many people feel pain just because they’re lonely, because they’re scared, and because they are worried that someone else won’t come along. This is not the same as feeling the pain because they were right for you and you lost the right person. If you always remember this distinction, you will be okay.

 

Focus on the pain not in the sense that you have lost your soulmate, but in the sense that you are disappointed and upset that she didn’t turn out to be your soulmate. The former is a much better approach to have, as you are able to say “although I'm hurt, she wasn't right for me and now I am able to move onto someone who might be”. The pain stems from the disappointment that this wasn't what you thought it was, it doesn't come from fundamentally believing you've lost someone who was suppose to be in your life. This difference is huge.

 

 

----

 

 

When a relationship ends, it’s not that we miss the person we used to be in a relationship with, but that we miss the fantasy of who we thought they were. Healing after a breakup comes with time, finding someone better, and realising that the reality of our ex, and our fantasy, are not a match.

[hunk]

Listen to me. She didn't dump you because you weren't giving her attention. Please stop believing this because it is hindering your potential to learn extremely important lessons from this experience. You screwed up but it wasn't from "not giving enough attention". You screwed up because you didn't give her the sex and mental stimulation she needs. "Not overly sexual" is garbage, she is a 19 year old girl. You don't get more sexual than that. No matter how she's presented herself, as a goodgirl, a bookworm, a study-freak, a prude - it's all a facade. She is a young girl who wants to have good, wild sex with exciting men. She got bored. Lack of attention from you combined with lack of sex = she has absolutely ZERO incentive to stay with you. Do you think, if she was dating Brad Pitt, and he "stopped giving her attention", she would dump him? No, she would go utterly insane trying to win his attention, doing anything for him, pulling out all the stops because she's terrified her prized man is looking elsewhere. All the while Brad would be maintaining her obsession with him because all he has to do is randomly drop by or call her up at 3am demanding she come over and have sex with him, because his sexual value is so high in her eyes.

 

Did this happen with you? No. This is why you need to realize her reasons for breaking up with you are bull**** and it had nothing to do with her "thinking you didn't have feelings for her". If this was the case and she was genuinely still attracted to you, the last thing she'd do is dump you - because she actually still wants you. The cold truth is she was sexually bored with you and you did nothing for her anymore.

 

If you don't do something about this your future relationships are going to follow a pattern of this. Detachment, distancing, a proclamation of "i just don't feel the same, i don't know why.." "the spark is gone..." combined with cheating that seemingly "came from nowhere, we were so good!".

 

You don't have to write a response to this, this isn't a debate or discussion i'm literally TELLING you how it is. Do what you will and good luck

[heartbroken1996]

Sooo, I've got an update. I may or may not be in the wrong here, but I'm feeling pretty good because I've regained some of the power I lost in the breakup.

 

Today I made the horrible mistake of responding to a Reddit comment about breakups with a very, very brief version of my story, as reported here. At this point, I have come to accept that my ex was almost certainly cheating - at least emotionally - and I included this. The comment wasn't particularly mean, and was more an opportunity for me to do a bit of venting than anything else. I should also note that myself and my ex are the only people in the world who know my Reddit username.

 

Now, I posted this only hours ago. However, a couple of minutes ago I get a text from my ex accusing me of making up lies to disparage her. Now, the irony of the ex that is "over me" checking my Reddit account frequently enough to catch a post within hours of me writing it wasn't lost on me, and not being able to resist responding, I made sure to point this out to her.

 

We then continued to have a conversation where she accused me of constructing a massive conspiracy to turn everyone against her (with my Reddit account that only I and her know). I made sure to keep a level head this time, and I responded to all of her concerns calmly, and without suggesting that I want to get back together, that I wouldn't actively try to hurt someone who I had cared deeply about (despite her own hostility). Essentially, she was made out to be the bad guy, she recognized she had lost some control, and, when I realized that she thought her friends were turning against her, I decided to go with it. Ultimately she decided to stop the conversation, and I invited her to either speak with me about this in person and try for some degree of reconciliation or to never contact me again.

 

Honestly, I probably should never have responded to any of this, and that was the very condensed version of the conversation, but it feels really good to be the strong one for once.

[heartbroken1996]

Alright, I'm still feeling good about yesterday but things are getting a little bit out of hand and I'm confused about what it means. My ex has continued to be in contact with me since last night continuing the same argument, and she is extremely hostile, and keeps saying how happy she is, she has so many wonderful friends, a strong social support network, things have never been better, she is sooo over me, etc. etc. I keep pointing out to her that this behaviour suggests that she isn't over what happened, to which she calls me "disrespectful and inconsiderate."

 

It's actually a somewhat frustrating conversation, and it's amazing because now it's her that's upset and me that's trying to calm her down. I haven't made any indication that I want her back, I've told her that I'm happy for her, I've responded to every point that she's made, and I've apologized for my part in the breakup. I've explained that I care about her too much to want to hurt her, and I gave some very compelling proof of this fact. I don't think it would be possible for me to be any more tactful about this.

 

I'm not even upset, I more think this is funny. The fact that she's checking up on my Reddit account and misdirecting immense amounts of anger at me when I have done - literally - nothing to her since we broke up is in such opposition to what she's telling me she feels. This is probably me reading into this too much, but I feel like she's trying really hard to make herself believe that I'm the bad guy and that her life is better without me to reduce any dissonance she's feeling. I don't know.

[lolablue17]

Oh, come on... Stop being so pussy with her.

 

Next time tell her to stop harassing you. Tell her that she's clearly not happy in her life if some polite hidden response from her Ex in an insignificant website, made her behaving like she is now.

 

Tell that you don't give a $hit about what she thinks, you have the right to express yourself with your nickname and with your real name. It's your choice, your life... advice her to stop trying to control you from distance.

 

Tell her to f#uck off, to get a life and to leave you alone.

[heartbroken1996]

Oh, come on... Stop being so pussy with her.

 

Next time tell her to stop harassing you. Tell her that she's clearly not happy in her life if some polite hidden response from her Ex in an insignificant website, made her behaving like she is now.

 

Tell that you don't give a $hit about what she thinks, you have the right to express yourself with your nickname and with your real name. It's your choice, your life... advice her to stop trying to control you from distance.

 

Tell her to f#uck off, to get a life and to leave you alone.

 

Absolutely you're right, and I'm going to do just this if this continues. But if she's feeling guilty and having second thoughts, I want to exploit this. Maybe this makes me a terrible person, I'm not sure.

[lolablue17]

Absolutely you're right, and I'm going to do just this if this continues. But if she's feeling guilty and having second thoughts, I want to exploit this. Maybe this makes me a terrible person, I'm not sure.

 

She doesn't feel guilty and has no second thoughts at all! She also doesn't care about you at all. She only thinks about her remaining Mrs. perfect, in her's and anybody's eyes.

 

One good thing came out of it. Now you can assume she wasn't cheating. a nice peace of information. That's it.

 

About your hope to have her back. I say drop it, but if you can't drop it you can think that way: Being respectful and nice to her didn't work, right? So maybe being selfish and acting rude will turn her on.

 

Tell her that you know for sure that she was cheating on you, that you hate her for that and you may very well be telling everybody about it... and then close all communication routes for good. It will freak her out while you're enjoying the party.

 

My main message is - Get rid of her, throw her out of your mind. I believe that you need theatrical gestures (like telling her to f#uck off) in order to achieve it.

[Chi townD]

WILL YOU STOP TALKING TO HER!!!! You said that after yesterday's little flame up, you stated that you felt better. Well, of course you felt better! You're a junkie! You're a crackhead, speedfreak and an alcoholic and you just gave yourself a fix.

 

 

See those things are EXACTLY how you need to view yourself. You are a junkie, crackhead, speedfreak and alcoholic trying to get clean and sober. And here's the rub, you suffer the same withdrawal symptoms of a drug addict. Loss of appetite, weight loss, difficulty sleeping and that drug is on your mind for most of the day. Well, in your case, your Ex is your drug. And some folks will give themselves ANY excuse to contact their Ex's just to get a fix, "Oh look! My Ex left a DVD over at my place that I found under the bed with cobwebs on it. I wonder if she needs it? I better call her to find out".

 

 

And do you know what the treatment for this is? It's the same as any other addict. One day at a time. You need to get through the day with any contact from your Ex. And I'm not talking only text, phone and email. I'm talking all social media where you stand a chance of seeing into her life.