wlh22 Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Hi all, It's been almost 2 months now that my girlfriend sort of ended things (she started avoiding my calls and just disappeared instead of just manning it up and telling me she was breaking up). After a few days, I sort of assumed what was happening. When I called her basically to get an answer from her, she said just didn't feel it, She said she was sorry but she didn't know what to say because she was the one who asked to get back together (we had broken up before due to her showing instability talking about future and commitment, after me having proposed) Anyways, I am by nature analytical. Plus I have moved to a new area 2 months back and I don't actually have friends here and I live by myself. This has made the last month or so EXTREMELY difficult. I keep thinking and over-thinking the entire year and how she played with me. How she always said the RIGHT thing in every situation that always protected her. And how can someone be so insensitive. I felt extreme attraction to her. I felt such ease talking to her. But I had trust issues with her. I keep overanalyzing WHY she did what she did. WHO was at fault. And I am getting into a victim mode (I have been dumped by 2 other people in my life before without any major fault such as cheating or abusive relationship - surprise to me EACH time). I am afraid I am getting depressed. My parents (that I call) are tired of hearing about this and about her and at this point they say, just move on. She is not worth it. She has screwed it up big time etc. But I need help. What can I do this in situation, practically speaking?
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 You may well be an analytical person, but you're asking yourself the wrong questions. That's why you're getting nowhere but depressed... I keep overanalyzing WHY she did what she did. WHO was at fault. And I am getting into a victim mode (I have been dumped by 2 other people in my life before without any major fault such as cheating or abusive relationship - surprise to me EACH time). Instead of asking the imponderable and unanswerable questions, why not turn it round and ask questions you CAN answer? "Why am I still holding onto this?" "What am I reluctant to let go of?" "What would happen to me if I DID let it go?" Don't get into victim mode. That's just a form of inverted egoism, and it is amply demonstrated by your parents' slowly-growing impatience with you, because you're wallowing in misery. Which, according to the saying, loves company.... It might 'love company' but company doesn't love 'it'. "Do I really want to be like this for the foreseeable future?" "What can I seriously do for myself to evolve, use this opportunity to grow, and move on?" Only by asking the right questions - questions which you have it within yourself to answer - will you begin to think straight. 1
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