marcusdevilliers Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Hey guys. i recently got through a break up. im fine now .. you know im good with everything, i aint got no negative feelings, im just kool now. im in a different job now. i hang out with a set of girls, this one girl tho, shes 3 years older but is kool. she has a bf and im not trying nothing i dont wanna get between people and here relationship. i felt i was having some feelings towards her, shes beautiful sucessful and all that. i just wanna know how i can keep feelings out the way and keep it kool, because i dont want that to happen, or with future friends as well. im not happy where my life is right now, and im tryna fix things with me, so i still wanna be out there but stay friendly with feelings out of the way.
casey.lives Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 keep in mind that people have their own make up and to really like someone is to know them.. to really sit back and watch them. you can reign in feelings by remembering that they can hurt profoundly in carelessness. Give yourself time just to watch without judgement or personal projections
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 That's an unwise policy. You'll get the negative reputation of being a cold-hearted individual with little or no emotional response. Don't try to suppress emotions. Every human has them, and to suppress some while ignoring others (like anger, frustration, impatience) will only lead to your temperament being misread, and you being misunderstood. By all means keep your emotions in check, under control - but don't switch them off. 1
Author marcusdevilliers Posted October 17, 2015 Author Posted October 17, 2015 I dont mind the feelings of close people. i always care for my friends and share a good relationship with them. shes kinda outta my league too, im not saying i wont get close to her if feelings are mutual, but i dont wanna get to a stage where i might get strong feelings for her and it may not be the same and things get awkward. and im a lover lol, i love alot so i wanna keep things kool right now, if something develops later, hey im in for that but right now i dont want to fall for her you know.
preraph Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Realize that the reason you're full of emotions is because you haven't yet dealt with the past relationship. It is very convenient and less painful to jump right up and project those feelings on to someone else so you don't have to deal with them. But you know better. So take a break from this group until you've had time to work through all this stuff. And then reconnect. 1
smackie9 Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 I agree you need to stay out of contact with her. Sorry butsticking around is just going to make things worse.
kendahke Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Hey guys. i recently got through a break up. im fine now .. you know im good with everything, i aint got no negative feelings, im just kool now. im in a different job now. i hang out with a set of girls, this one girl tho, shes 3 years older but is kool. she has a bf and im not trying nothing i dont wanna get between people and here relationship. i felt i was having some feelings towards her, shes beautiful sucessful and all that. i just wanna know how i can keep feelings out the way and keep it kool, because i dont want that to happen, or with future friends as well. im not happy where my life is right now, and im tryna fix things with me, so i still wanna be out there but stay friendly with feelings out of the way. Keep your expectations in check. Don't live in the future. Live in the now. Focus on the work you need to get done.
newmoon Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 maybe just remind yourself over and over that she's got someone already. this girl is taken, so it won't exactly get you moving on the best path forward. you might think you're over the past relationship, but we all need time to heal.
Author marcusdevilliers Posted October 18, 2015 Author Posted October 18, 2015 thats where im confused also. i mean i know im not completely over my ex, but im over it at the same time. i dont want her back, i want nothing to do with her again, she left me and hasnt even done anything to know how im doing or anything, which makes me feel so much better knowing shes not worth it. i just gotta keep things kool with my other female friends and keep in mind i dont need a rship right now, just good friends.
thecrucible Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 Take each day at a time. Realise that it does take time to get over a break-up and don't try and not feel anything or put pressure on yourself to get over it sooner. I look at it like your brain is forming neural connections when you fall in love with someone. Getting over someone happens when your brain makes different neural connections with new experiences. Don't try and suppress emotions. I did that before after being hurt and it just led to misunderstandings in personal relationships with people in various parts of my life. People like to see vulnerability and a range of emotions - if you come across as unflappable, they don't trust you or think you are a cold person.
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