Karine26 Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 (edited) I want to cancel it after hearing him talk over the phone. I have only been Online for a week and this would be the 2nd guy I met but I guess I made the mistake of agreeing to meet before hearing him talk on the phone. This guy uses so much slang and ends every sentence with "ya dig". Ummmm...lol He's a white guy who tries to sound super "urban" and not to mention he is 40 years old (which probably means 45 in Online years). To put it bluntly I think he sounds stupid lol I didn't get any of this through his messages and texts. Have you ever watched Malibu's Most Wanted with Jason Kennedy where this rich white kid from Malibu claims to be from the "hood". haha ummm yea...Just to clarify I'm not making this a race thing, my dad is half black and my mom is from an island so I love all races and have dated many different races. The last guy I dated was white but our personalities were similar. It's more so that I don't think this guy's personally will mesh with mine. I feel bad for being a flake but I'm sure he does not want a pity date, which is what this would end up being. Can someone give me a gentle way to cancel? Has this happened to anyone else? Edited October 17, 2015 by Karine26
StBreton Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Yep. After talking on the phone the guy was a swearer ...doesn't mesh with my personality ...I canceled. Didn't feel a bit of guilt. Why do you care about some guy's feelings you don't even know or haven't met? 1
Author Karine26 Posted October 17, 2015 Author Posted October 17, 2015 Yep. After talking on the phone the guy was a swearer ...doesn't mesh with my personality ...I canceled. Didn't feel a bit of guilt. Why do you care about some guy's feelings you don't even know or haven't met? Good question. I'm not sure why lol I have been told all my life that I'm too nice. Did you just tell him the truth?
d0nnivain Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Just say upon further reflection you don't think that you two have enough in comment to warrant meeting in person. You're sorry for wasting his time & you wish him well Going forward, remember to have a phone conversation before meeting in person. 5
losangelena Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Yeah, I don't think you need to tell him you think he sounds like a dolt. Just tell him you've reconsidered and leave it at that. I once when on a second date with a guy who, though I agreed to it, I realized I didn't really want to go on after-all. I ALMOST called him to tell him never mind, but I didn't, and it was kind of a sh*tty date. I wish I had cancelled. 1
StBreton Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 (edited) Good question. I'm not sure why lol I have been told all my life that I'm too nice. Did you just tell him the truth? I don't feel compelled to tell someone I don't know my innermost feelings. I have a big heart but appropriate boundaries with things like this ...just told him I wasn't interested in pursuing it further. You see ...if you tell someone the real reason...they may get defensive/go on a rant. I do not want my life to be affected by someone's lack of n emotionally intelligent filter. I suggest protecting yourself and being more concerned with yourself than others when it comes to OLD (or RLD but online tends to have a greater percentage of crazies IME). Edited October 17, 2015 by StBreton 1
Author Karine26 Posted October 17, 2015 Author Posted October 17, 2015 Thanks for the replies. I used the advice of d0nnievain and cancelled the way he mentioned. He said it's cool but now keeps texting me asking "Can I call you?" I ignored it so he then texted "Are you sleeping"? lol Let's just say I'm glad I cancelled and I'm glad the iphone makes it so easy to block phone numbers lol Lesson learned! 1
Stage5Clinger Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 I feel bad for being a flake but I'm sure he does not want a pity date, which is what this would end up being. Can someone give me a gentle way to cancel? Has this happened to anyone else? Lots of liars online unfortunately. Just tell him that you've changed your mind and have to take care of some other things in your life for a while.
fitnessfan365 Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 One thing I'm always surprised to hear is when people say they make plans on the dating site, and only exchange numbers at the end of a successful first meet. Why wouldn't you want to talk on the phone first? It's a great way to gauge someone's actual personality. I mean if you can't stand talking to someone on the phone, the date's not going to be any better. That's why I don't make plans to meet unless it's at the end of an enjoyable phone call. 1
Author Karine26 Posted October 17, 2015 Author Posted October 17, 2015 One thing I'm always surprised to hear is when people say they make plans on the dating site, and only exchange numbers at the end of a successful first meet. Why wouldn't you want to talk on the phone first? It's a great way to gauge someone's actual personality. I mean if you can't stand talking to someone on the phone, the date's not going to be any better. That's why I don't make plans to meet unless it's at the end of an enjoyable phone call. I get it. I'm only a week in on Online dating. I was naive. I have a lot to learn.
losangelena Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Btw, d0nnivain isn't a he. But you're right, she gives great advice.
Author Karine26 Posted October 18, 2015 Author Posted October 18, 2015 I canceled today at noon and our date was for tmrw at 7pm. I did feel bad about being flakey but if I already knew in the end it wouldn't go anywhere why bother? In the end I'm saving him time and probably a few bucks if he offered to pay for my part of the date. Also, sorry d0nnivain for calling you "he", your advice on how to word canceling was spot on By the way, I blocked him from texting me and then he began to send me emails on the site. This is AFTER he said he was cool with me not feeling like we would mesh well.
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