Liono84 Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 For anyone whose been a dumper, regardless of your desire or lack thereof in returning back to your ex, have you always maintained the belief that if you really wanted to, you could have your ex back? I'm just wondering whether or not if this is true. I know this certainly applies to many cases when a dumpee has a hard time with the breakup in begging, pleading, crying and remaining in contact with the dumper after the breakup and trying to convince them to come back. However, is this also true when a dumpee bows-out gracefully in never contacting the dumper again since the breakup? Does the dumper still maintain the belief that should they want, they can have their ex back? 1
MINDSHIFT Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 interesting question it will be interesting to hear from dumpers. Me being a dumpee I dont know. But my ex during the relationship told me she could have her ex back in heartbeat if she wanted to. She said this about all her exs and ofcourse she was the dumper.
Samuel_22 Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 For anyone whose been a dumper, regardless of your desire or lack thereof in returning back to your ex, have you always maintained the belief that if you really wanted to, you could have your ex back? I'm just wondering whether or not if this is true. I know this certainly applies to many cases when a dumpee has a hard time with the breakup in begging, pleading, crying and remaining in contact with the dumper after the breakup and trying to convince them to come back. However, is this also true when a dumpee bows-out gracefully in never contacting the dumper again since the breakup? Does the dumper still maintain the belief that should they want, they can have their ex back? No, I knew it from day 1 that the situation was out of my control, and there was nothing I could do or say to change her idea. However, I had a feeling she would regret it and come back, I presume I was wrong about that too... I just wish I had the opportunity to see her regretting her decision! That will certainly happen one day, but I wont be there to witness that. How do I know that? well I regretted leaving my ex, the day I dumped her, it was such a relief... 1 year later, I am kicking myself for that.... she really loved me and I was an ass.... now she is in a good relationship, I hope the new guy appreciates, what I was blind to see and appreciate.
SammySammy Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Why would I want them back? When it's over, it's over.
Blanco Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 I've been the dumper twice, though in both instances, it felt like it was being left to me to end things rather than it being something only I wanted. Nevertheless, I definitely had a period of time after each of this breakups where I thought I could get back in if I really wanted to. I was wrong both times! I would think that in most cases, dumpers probably think it would not be impossible to get the dumpee back. I don't see my most recent ex's relationship ending anytime soon, but I have little doubt that if it does end and I'm not involved with anyone, I'll at the very least be hearing from her.
Samuel_22 Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 I read it in a wrong way!!! NO! even though I knew my ex loved me, I never dared establish contact with her, of course she closed all doors as soon as I dumped her, so that might be the reason. About the other ex that I had dumped, she really loved me too, and she also left all doors open when we broke up, but I never felt like contacting her. Either way, I suppose, a miracle is needed to reconcile with an ex, and even then another miracle is needed to keep the relationship. And I don't believe in miracles, not anymore at least
Speirling Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 When I was the dumper, I didn't expect that I could get the dumpees back. One made it clear that I could, if I wanted, for some time afterwards, the other didn't. In the case where the dumpee in effect instituted LC, I knew that I would have to work to get them back and I respected them enough to not mess with them since my mind hadn't changed. That ex is now happily married to his "rebound" as it goes Sxxx
singme2sleep Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 When I was the dumper, I didn't expect that I could get the dumpees back. One made it clear that I could, if I wanted, for some time afterwards, the other didn't. In the case where the dumpee in effect instituted LC, I knew that I would have to work to get them back and I respected them enough to not mess with them since my mind hadn't changed. That ex is now happily married to his "rebound" as it goes Sxxx Hey, how are you doing?
Speirling Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 I'm ok singme, will post an update on my thread soon. Hope you're hanging in ok, Sxxx 1
BonerFide Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 I think it reaaaaally depends on how the break up went down. I've been the dumper twice-three times and the dumpee once. The first time I broke up with someone he resisted a LOT, and when I finally just started blanking all his messages he eventually gave up, but I'm pretty sure he'd take me back even now because he was pretty pathetic and still tells people we're together etc. Then my recent ex, I broke up with him twice in the long relationship until it ended with him breaking up with me. The first time we got back together a few hours later; the second time, I went back basically begging the next day, and he was more resistant because he didn't want to get hurt again but he took me back because he still had feelings and I had shown how committed I was to actually making it work. When he eventually broke up with me, I was immediately gone. I did no begging, just accepted it and had a friend drop off his stuff the next day. Tomorrow will mark day 30 of NC, and he would have effectively no chance of getting me back, unless months had passed and he really worked to prove himself. I doubt he wants me back though, I think we're both just moving on with our lives. I think it very much depends on why the relationship ended and also how the break up went down, and how the dumpee handles themselves during and after the NC. Of course, if the dumper is over them when they break up, they probably don't even weigh up whether they can get their ex back or not. I definitely didn't.
singme2sleep Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 I'm ok singme, will post an update on my thread soon. Hope you're hanging in ok, Sxxx I'm not doing any better. Still struggling.
NoMoreJerks Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 Mine didn't think he could have me back. But he emailed me one day when he was super drunk and when I replied, telling him that while I loved him still, he'd made his bed and he better sleep in it, I guess he realized he had some slight chance given that I had replied to him, and he started begging me to take him back. So I guess at first he wasn't sure and he had a weak moment and emailed me when drunk, but after my reply, his attitude changed, because he was now more positive about it. But for the next week or so, before we met up to discuss, he kept emailing me and asking me every day if I still loved him, if I was going to take him back, etc.
Recommended Posts