Giving up. Ex wants to be friends with benefits because he is not "ready"

[allofyou]

I thought we were reconciling.

Today, he told me that he is not ready and wants to keep talking to me, seeing me, hanging out, and doing what we usually do (aka, acting like a couple but not actually a couple).

 

I thought he was ready to really work on things. Then he said he wants to *focus on himself* but still have me in his life. If he wants to focus on himself, why he doesnt just move on and still want to do "things" with me?

 

 

I feel incredibly angry today. it is the first time i feel so angry post break-up. Feeling like a massive fool.

[stillafool]

So are you going to be his FWB or move on?

[d0nnivain]

You aren't a fool. You dared to hope. Hope is generally a good thing. However now that you know what he's all about, it's up to you to determine where you want to draw the lines.

[Candle037]

I agree if this doesn't work for you it won't work for you both. I had actually the same situation and I am still trying to recover from it. It's been 4 months and I once again made an ultimatum but we continually go back and forth. This is the longest I haven't heard from him and I think it might be over. Because this became a crutch for me as it was FWB I have mixed feelings and I'm even dreaming of him. Really take a break and find out what's for you cause this can literally suck up all your time and energy and not make you readily emotionally available for a new man/woman.

[allofyou]

I agree if this doesn't work for you it won't work for you both. I had actually the same situation and I am still trying to recover from it. It's been 4 months and I once again made an ultimatum but we continually go back and forth. This is the longest I haven't heard from him and I think it might be over. Because this became a crutch for me as it was FWB I have mixed feelings and I'm even dreaming of him. Really take a break and find out what's for you cause this can literally suck up all your time and energy and not make you readily emotionally available for a new man/woman.

 

 

I ended it and we had a major fight. Now I am starting NC again day 3. This time I made him block me too.

 

A few months back I already knew I was sort of FWB. I was angry and asked him so we are FWB? Am I allowed to date other guys? He said no.

It was on and off for 6 months post break up. I thought it would be a collective effort to work on this relationship. Then he said I hurt him too much in the second half of our relationship. I tried very hard and the pain he caused me in the first half of our relationship stopped me pushing him more. I am just too tired of asking for love.

 

I dont believe in "maybe we can get back together in the future". I am not your "maybe girl".

[craw]

Good for you for getting angry and standing up for yourself!

 

Great step for moving on. He doesn't deserve you.