NikiTheGamer Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 I know this is a common and normal dilemma, I've already done the "I've fallen in love with my best friend" google search and have asked for advice from a family member, but figured that since each situation is unique little harm could come from having an online discussion or making my personal dilemma somewhat public. I have a closet bisexual/pansexual friend of whom I love dearly, but for a long time now I've considered our love to be sisterly. We've been friends for 5+ years now, but a few years back I admitted my feelings for her, and she said then that, although she was flattered, she didn't feel the same way. Fast-forward two or three years, and we're talking about guys/girls when she says "the only person I'd really consider dating right now is you". For some context, this was after we had reminisced about the time I'd asked her out, but all I could do after she said this was quickly move the conversation past this comment/subject and on to something else. I've started to look more closely at her words and actions now, though, and it may just be hopefulness that has begun to notice how cuddly she's become. She even drew me into a close embrace the other day, the kind that is unusually intimate even for friends, but I again assumed this was just me seeing things or maybe the action was meant more lightheartedly than I perceived it to be. She also recently confided to me that she hasn't been in a relationship for a while, is missing the idea of dating/being in a relationship and would really like to be with someone for a bit. I love her, but am I overreacting? Is this all just a close friendship misinterpreted, or maybe she's changed her mind? If she has, then is it real love, or just her desire to be with somebody? We've been talking a lot lately, getting closer everyday, but maybe I'm just being hopeful. I'm sorry for the wall of text, this is more a stream of consciousness than any structured post. Thanks to any and all replies made
Author NikiTheGamer Posted October 17, 2015 Author Posted October 17, 2015 For some context: we're both sixteen year old girls attending the same college together
preraph Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Niki, there's no point in trying to pin her down because you're both very young. She may not get it all figured out until sometime in her 20s. Just from what I've seen, people are flailing about quite a bit trying to see what feels right until they're a young adult. And there's good reason for that since hormones are new to young people and are creating all kinds of changes and that means things can get emotional and confusing and it means you can actually change. I've mostly had male gay friends, and most of them had an inkling when young, but all of them were still experimenting with women through their entire teens and unable to be completely clear where they were headed. Then it crystallized for them at some point later on. Don't be in a hurry. Spend time with your friend and if she's affectionate, great, be affectionate back, but be aware that she's probably got a lot of testing the waters and experimentation ahead to see what she's really about. Good luck.
IrinaSwartz Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Both you are in sixteen & attending the same college together.... That's the young time, and have like a fairly involve in love. There is might have attraction for which you love, but if she not. So makes a better affirmation with himself while the attraction of love. Hope for best, if she loves you & have both love together.
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