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Ex Fiance broke up, but I want her back?


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  • Author
Posted

Usually most girls would want to collect child support. This situation is weird, cause I am the one putting myself on it and she doesn't want me to (was blackmailing me to cancel the first hearing). So confused!

  • Author
Posted

She keeps on unnecessarily contacting me, saying "hey, what do you want?"...what does this mean?

Posted
She keeps on unnecessarily contacting me, saying "hey, what do you want?"...what does this mean?

 

hmm it means one thing only

 

the B**** is CRAZY

  • Author
Posted
hmm it means one thing only

 

the B**** is CRAZY

 

I figured. I was blaming her for cheating yesterday. She just acted tired and said I want to be friends instead of enemies. Then she was trying to change topic about what I bought at the store...and I never did so she just said bye.

  • 3 weeks later...
  • Author
Posted

Update: No contact order is over, she doesn't believe me and insists they were supposed to call her.

 

She kept calling me the past 2 weeks and texting me asking what I am doing. When I tell her how I feel, she ignores calls, texts, etc. She pretended she didn't go out on New Years, but she did.

 

She tells me to move on, that she wants to better herself, yet, she is just out partying.

 

I've invited her out, she says she doesn't trust me to go out alone, maybe when her friend gets off work and can come too.

 

I have a hearing for custody on mid-January.

 

I still want her back, and am deciding to go 30 days no contact with her. Hopefully this will make her want me more.

Posted

Going NC for 30 days in the hope that she will miss you more is not going to work.

 

 

Using NC to manipulate somebody is wrong. NC is about helping you heal. It's not designed to help you get somebody back. Open honest communication & hard work repair relationships. Disappearing acts & silence make things worse.

 

 

More importantly because you share a child NC is not an option for you. You have to talk because that is how you co-parent.

 

 

Do what is best for your child but understand your relationship is over.

  • Author
Posted

Okay I took the no contact idea out of my head. I just did that because I read a book on it. I will be nice and never initiate, only reply. I guess I will just keep doing this until she asks me one day to meet up, if she ever does. I can't beg her to trust me, cause it hasn't worked so far. I was a douche in the past, and I don't blame her for not wanting to go out with me honestly. I can't move on though, I truly am in love with this woman. I've forgiven her for the cheating. I hope she can forgive me for being violent in my past.

Posted
. I can't move on though, I truly am in love with this woman. I've forgiven her for the cheating. I hope she can forgive me for being violent in my past.

 

 

You being in love with her is irrelevant. She does not love you. Her parents HATE you. There were restraining orders. There are custody issues. You need to listen to your lawyer & you need to stop violating orders entered by courts obligating you to stay away from her.

 

 

Focus on your child & yourself. Let her go.

  • Author
Posted
You being in love with her is irrelevant. She does not love you. Her parents HATE you. There were restraining orders. There are custody issues. You need to listen to your lawyer & you need to stop violating orders entered by courts obligating you to stay away from her.

 

 

Focus on your child & yourself. Let her go.

 

 

Court is over now, no more no contact. Technically we can see each-other, she just says she doesn't trust me, and she told me to work on myself. I don't know if what she says is exactly what she means or if that's code for something else. But then again, I'm clueless about it. She kind of involved her family into our issues but I told her the other day I want to put the past behind us and she agreed to it. I guess my next attempt, in the future, when she asks for it, whenever she does, is how to convince her I am safe to be around? I am literally putting steps forward and taking anger management courses to fix my issues. I feel way better already. I haven't contacted her as much as before, and she is starting to take notice.

  • Author
Posted

I just want everybody to know that I am focusing on my son definitely and understand that the child is the most important thing throughout this whole process. I am definitely not undermining this or forgetting it. It's just that I love this girl and she does no longer trust me or care. I want to get her back, not move on. We have a family together. I'm really looking more for advice as to how to get her back or what I have to do rather than to move on.

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