kendahke Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Your problem is not that you "dived in." I'd hate for you to think that and be too reserved with the next girl. Trust me, when a girl is into you, sleeping with you, and getting texts and attention from you, she is happy. Don't change what you are doing. This is clearly not your problem. It's her situation. The challenge is watching for signs of reciprocity from a new romantic partner. Once the other pulls away, all you can do is communicate with them and find out what's going on. Find out what they need, and then know and express back what you need. So, no games! Really, she broke up with you. You've been downgraded from relationship to friendship. I don't allow that myself...unless maybe some time elapses, say 6 months or so, and it would be a rare thing. Respect yourself and tell her you don't think she's ready for a relationship, but you want that with someone. You've got enough friends. She'll respect your bottom line. I think it's rude for her to sleep with you, have relationship with you that looks like she's all in, and then, BAM, pull the rug out from under you by breaking up with you only after you force the communication. Now she offers friendship? Naw! She has the right to change her mind and break up with you. Her choice. Your choice to to move on or hang around someone who has rejected you. It hurts, I know. But she will respect you more if you have some boundaries of your own. There is a consequence for breaking up with you, and that's no more access to you. Also, think about this. If you were texting too much, she could have simply told you that once she realized it. That's good communication. Then you adjust your texting and relationship accordingly. Why date a bad communicator? That's a dealbreaker. Move on and date a girl who wants a relationship. Don't change who you are. If I'm sleeping with a guy, I want those good morning and good night texts. It shows consideration and connection. Good things with the right person! �� ^^^This X 100000000000000 Co-sign
Author ascotsman83 Posted October 26, 2015 Author Posted October 26, 2015 It's good to hear all of your input. I think really I'm just hoping it's not that but more than likely it is. Ye she asked to hangout on Friday but doesn't mean anything, I'm really not a ''friend'' kinda guy so not sure how that's going to go and I'm not good at pretending either lol Anyway I'll meet her Friday and see what happens. I've decided to get myself back on the dating scene and put the idea of something happening with her on the backburner, I won't actively pursue it anymore. If something happens in time then great, if not it's no big deal because I'm getting myself out meeting other woman and getting on with life. Lesson learned! 2
thecrucible Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 You sound like a really good guy. Please don't change what you're doing with the next girl. To me she just dived in really quickly then panicked when it all got real. She's just not ready for anything serious. I know because I acted like this with a guy before though I never offered him friendship afterwards as I didn't want to patronise him. Thankfully he accepted my apology and we're on speaking terms. I'd stick with what you were saying and be friendly if you bump into her sort of thing but no need to go for actually hanging out as friends. Have to say you are setting a really good example of what to do in this situation. It was a good idea to leave the voice message. There's no point in acting like you don't care about the outcome and then torture yourself over it. Better to just get it all out in the open and get a straight answer. So I think you handled this situation pretty well.
oregon0011 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Ye it's a strange one to really pinpoint because the reason I let me guard down so soon was because of how affectionate she was being with me and she was saying all the right things "im thinking about you", "im missing you", "i cant believe how good we get along" etc And then after she said she wants to slow things down it's been less contact and friend like. ugghhh.. I have encountered so many of these.. Instant clingers.. Who claim you are the best, most awesome, wonderful, amazing guy ever.. Then when you reciprocate at all they are bored and do not want a relationship..
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