LoveStinks8 Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Over the summer I had a very short relationship (less than 8 weeks), and I literally cannot get over it. It was the strangest, most wonderful, experience of my life thus far. We moved way too quickly but what got me was that it felt so comfortable and natural. I never got butterflies, felt awkward, sat on my hands waiting for his text... it just felt like it was so obvious that we were together, like it was "meant to be" (corny I know). He told me he felt the same way but that he had unfinished business with his ex/unresolved feelings. They were recently separated and neither me or him meant for things to go as far between us as they did but it felt like something was driving us together egging us on. I wasn't surprised when he went back to his ex. We both knew our relationship couldn't stand when he didn't have closure with her yet. What I don't understand is why I still feel so strongly. We work together and the feelings between us haven't dulled down. I still feel warm when he touches me, he still buys me dinner, I still want to be near him. We fight it desperately, knowing that it isn't fair to his ex/current girlfriend. He claims he's happy with her when asked but no one that knows him is convinced that he really is. We've both openly admitted our love for each other, how much we miss each other, how hard it is to work together. We've tried no contact/limited contact at work but it hurts me deeply and he says he feels the same. He says he feels like a pig and a horrible person for all of this and he doesn't know what the right step is. What I don't understand is why my feelings for him continue to get stronger even though I do what I can to distance myself?? I went on a date tonight and ended up embarrassing myself immensely when the guy went to kiss me on the cheek by jumping away and starting to cry my eyes out because I couldn't imagine anyone but my summer guy touching me. We've been over now for as long as we were together and it hurts more every day and he says/our mutual friends say he's apparently hurting as bad. Why the heck do I hurt this bad?!?! I had a 5 year relationship that didn't hurt this bad when it ended. And what do I do from here?!
Truth34 Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Because certain people are just different. My "relationship" this summer was also about two months, although we had been txting and calling one another in a non-romantic way for well over a year here and there prior. But it was exactly as you stated, natural albeit fast. She had been dumped by her ex months earlier, and had actually reached out to me for my opinion when it happened. I was a friend and a trusted person to her, and deep down she always had an affliction for me in some state (as I learned the more she told me). I really thought we were meant to be "something", and I say that because we are hours away from one another and in different points in our respective lives. So "something" is all I could think of, because dating would most likely never had worked. But we drove the six hours to see one another, I met her family, and we were so thrilled and somewhat shocked to be where we were with each other. It was the climax of my romantic feelings so far in my life. I'd never felt the strong feelings of love, the true caring kind, not the infatuation. I wanted to be the best of the best to her, and through my mistakes I can still be proud of my honesty to her. But alas, things changed. And then it got dragged on, which hurts because we never had any bad moments since we had met. Ever. So the fact that she felt obligated to do things to let me down easy or whatever, it sucks. She didnt owe me anything, other than honesty, and to know she wasnt really feeling it for awhile makes me feel somewhat responsible for putting her in uncomfortable situations. The length of a relationship seems to mean so little when things click. We clicked. We laughed. We talked all the time, excited to tell one another things that happened during the day or whatever. And she was a great friend at that. Im over three months removed from that happiness and while I am no longer mourning, I still think of her daily. And I still get sad not having someone like her in my life. For the longest time I literally wasnt attracted to any other girls, even if they were better looking. She was perfect in my eyes, for her dorky moments and early mornings with heavy eyes and messy makeup. I truly liked her in every way, because she was who she was. What do we do? Well, idk. I stil hear from her from time to time, although we literally have nothing to talk about and it seems forced. Im just thank*** I experienced something real, and I just hope she remembers me as the person who she couldnt wait to see someday. Not entirely sure she got back to talking with the ex, but I highly suspect it. Some dude, at any rate. Good luck to you. Some people seem to take everything with them when they leave.
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