Jadey Posted May 22, 2005 Posted May 22, 2005 I just had a thought that i feel i need to put here. Before me and my ex got together we knew eachother briefly as we were (are) in the same science class. But we never really spoke. I just thought of him as the quiet, quite good looking guy in my class who i didnt really know but seemd pretty nice. Then when my friend started fouing out with this guy we started hangin out with his friends, one being Joe, my ex. We instantly hit it off, got talking and became friends but it wos obvious there wos this massive spark between us and we would flirt all the time. After only 3 weeks of being his friend and us flirting i asked for his number and got texting him over the weekend, we were texting all weekend all hours, like from the morning till 3 in the morning. lol. (Not me texting first, him) And on that sunday night i told him i thought he wos great and would love to be more then friends. He said he thought i wos really cool and pretty too. I asked him out. He said hes not sure and will think about it, i said its fine. Then later on in the convo i asked again and he said probably. Then the next day at school on Monday we were both so nervous around eachother and everyone could feel thre tension, he wos hardley speaking to me. I later on got upset and told my friend he wos hardley speaking after we had been talking all weekend (he wosnt there then) Then when she saw him later on she asked him out for me, he said yes hed love to and came up to me, gave me a big hug and said hed text m that night, which he did.Then not long after that we got into the i love yous (i really did love him tho) and all that jazz. And he really did seem like he loved me too. But iw os just thinking, did i push him too quickly? We went from being friedns an the fun flirting stage, to bam me asking him out, he saying he dodnt know he need to think about it, to my friend asking him, he saying yes, then not long onto the i love yous. We went pretty bloody fast didnt we? Maybe i should have stopped my friend asking him. Actually i now think i shouldnt have asked him yet in the first place! Man i wish i had doen the hard to get thing then. I think we moved way to wquickly Do you guys agree? Wos it probably the problem? I probably should have let him do the chase thing Thats wot guys like after all. ARGH i so wish i could go back to that day he agve me his mobile number
Merin Posted May 22, 2005 Posted May 22, 2005 Jadey You're being to hard on yourself.. The 2 of you are young.. and while yeah it wasn't the best idea to have your Friend ask him out for you especially being that he was already apprehensive about dating he may have felt pressured into making a decision to say yes when he wasn't feeling it so to speak.. know what I'm saying? Going from being Friends to dating while IMO is all okay and good to go (who wouldn't want to date someone they already like you know?) I do think the whole dating/relationship was to much for him because honestly he isn't ready to be in that kind of a relationship... While you can't go back in time Honey, you can do the right things now... I know you miss him and would like another opportunity BUT it really needs to be HIS IDEA in persuing you now if thats what he wants... My guess is this has less to with him not wanting to date YOU perse and more to do with him not being ready to date ANYONE right now. Hang in there
Author Jadey Posted May 22, 2005 Author Posted May 22, 2005 Thanks Merin, Thing is hes APPARENTLY with someone else now..(dont know for sure though) Atlough i must admit if he is he doesnt seem very happy with her, he is always miserable lately. Maybe she just take things alo slower then what i did and thats what he wants But if thats the case why does he look unhappy? When we split up he said his feelings havent really changed, but since he said he loves me his feelings would be love, and if he loves me why dump me?? ARGH Im so confused. He seems about as confused as me lol..
Merin Posted May 22, 2005 Posted May 22, 2005 Originally posted by Jadey Thanks Merin, Thing is hes APPARENTLY with someone else now..(dont know for sure though) Atlough i must admit if he is he doesnt seem very happy with her, he is always miserable lately. Maybe she just take things alo slower then what i did and thats what he wants But if thats the case why does he look unhappy? When we split up he said his feelings havent really changed, but since he said he loves me his feelings would be love, and if he loves me why dump me?? ARGH Im so confused. He seems about as confused as me lol.. You're Welcome Even if he is with someone else right now Jadey it isn't an indicator that he is ready or mature enough to be in a romantic relationship... It is very easy to feel pressured to do things when you're young you know? You worry about what your Friends think... and I still think this Young Man is swayed easily by outside peer pressure to behave in a certain manner or to do things he may not really want or be ready for. Keep in mind as well there is a difference between being IN Love, and Loving another person... while he may care about you and Love you on some level... he isn't IN Love.. and really Girl, IMO he just isn't ready for that kind of relationship right now.
Author Jadey Posted May 22, 2005 Author Posted May 22, 2005 I think that you are deffiently probably right. He probably isnt ready. And i think he does feel preassure. Im sure i heard him say he worried wot peopl would think after we split.And also something that probably doesnt help alot of his friends seem to have a problem with me for some reason. So maybe that worrries him? I just keep thinking that if these are the problems then maybe when i leave school soon he will realise people have gone so he doesnt need to worry about wot people think. But i actually think when he worries about other people its more a thing of wot people think of me being with him cos HE isnt good enough, he has very low self esteem you see. Mybe im just kidding myself but i think he maybe thinks hes not good enough. Also he has a pretty bad home life, his dad is really abusive and stuff, and i know its not an excuse but do you think maybe his homelife may have soemting to do with it? Cos i know wot its like, when you have **** like that going on it gives you lots of insercurities etc. I offerd getting him help tho. He wos interested at first but then said no. Why is he with this other girl? Why does he look so sad when hes around me? Why does he keep looking at me with THAT look in his eyes? And wot can i do to get him back, now that im seeing wts happend..?
Merin Posted May 22, 2005 Posted May 22, 2005 Jadey.. there isn't anything you can do to get him back.. He already knows you want another opportunity. He already knows you're upset over the break up. Best thing to do now is give him space... if you still want to be Friendly with him, thats all okay and good to go.. but keep it at that. If or When he's ready he will persue you
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