savvy2008 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 (edited) I made a post recently about my boyfriend being oversensitive to things I say lately. His words confused me at times because it doesn't always match up with the vibe I'm getting from him. Very early on, as in 1 month in, he revealed to me that he loved me. A couple months after that he said he would move in together if we needed to, financial reasons that totally cleared up but the fact that he offered when I wasn't hinting at it in the slightest. A month or so after that and he sends me a song that has really sweet lyrics about a man loving a woman and whatever it is, is driving him crazy in a good way, one day she's going to be his wife, etc. So he sends it to me and makes it clear that he feels that way about me, the whole song. When he talks about the future, I'm in it. He jokes what we'll be like years down the road. I have a 7 year old son whom he jokes about, when he will start dating years from now and how we both will respond. But lately, the past few months, he hasn't been openly talking about those things. His actions towards me haven't changed and he still does future talk but he has stopped talking about moving in or eventually getting married. My best friend just got engaged and we recently went to a friend's wedding where people joked about us getting married and he joked back "you shut your dirty mouth" which I later told him that it made me feel like he had changed his mind about me. He assured me he hadn't and was playing with the people because we are no where near close to getting engaged. But the fact that he so openly talked about it before and now seems to brush it off. Should I be concerned? Edited October 16, 2015 by savvy2008 Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Should I b concerned? Is it possible that you turned him away when you felt he was expressing his seriousness too early on? Link to post Share on other sites
Author savvy2008 Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 I didn't, if anything I embraced it. I knew from the very beginning that he is somewhat of an insecure person when it comes to his feelings and getting close to someone, so I have always taken great care in my responses to him when he opens up about anything. I agreed with him when he said everything, I can't figure out why he stopped saying those things. Link to post Share on other sites
GingerVixen Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 I made a post recently about my boyfriend being oversensitive to things I say lately. His words confused me at times because it doesn't always match up with the vibe I'm getting from him. Very early on, as in 1 month in, he revealed to me that he loved me. A couple months after that he said he would move in together if we needed to, financial reasons that totally cleared up but the fact that he offered when I wasn't hinting at it in the slightest. A month or so after that and he sends me a song that has really sweet lyrics about a man loving a woman and whatever it is, is driving him crazy in a good way, one day she's going to be his wife, etc. So he sends it to me and makes it clear that he feels that way about me, the whole song. When he talks about the future, I'm in it. He jokes what we'll be like years down the road. I have a 7 year old son whom he jokes about, when he will start dating years from now and how we both will respond. But lately, the past few months, he hasn't been openly talking about those things. His actions towards me haven't changed and he still does future talk but he has stopped talking about moving in or eventually getting married. My best friend just got engaged and we recently went to a friend's wedding where people joked about us getting married and he joked back "you shut your dirty mouth" which I later told him that it made me feel like he had changed his mind about me. He assured me he hadn't and was playing with the people because we are no where near close to getting engaged. But the fact that he so openly talked about it before and now seems to brush it off. Should I be concerned? I think whenever a man talks about marriage, kids, love or whatever in the beginning of a relationship, there's a major red flag there. Men usually take a long time to fall in love and an even longer time to decide that they want to marry you. No honest, kind man will lead you on and fool you by talking about marriage when he's known you for only one month. Watch out because this man may be a player. When you relax and show him your true feelings for him, he may hurt you deeply. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 I would be more concerned about introducing a man so early on to your child. Introducing your child too early in a relationship is far more worrisome. Link to post Share on other sites
Author savvy2008 Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 I guess I didn't really clarify that we knew each other for many months before that. We worked together and once we started seriously talking for about a month, he put in for a transfer so we could officially date. I didn't introduce my son to him until after all of that when it had been months of getting to know each other. I felt strong feelings for him when he told me he loved me so it didn't seem that strange to me. What I felt was odd was that now he doesn't say a whole lot. He totally backed up his original feelings when I asked him, and his actions still say he feels the same, he just vocalizes it less and I wonder why. Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 I think whenever a man talks about marriage, kids, love or whatever in the beginning of a relationship, there's a major red flag there. Men usually take a long time to fall in love and an even longer time to decide that they want to marry you. No honest, kind man will lead you on and fool you by talking about marriage when he's known you for only one month. Watch out because this man may be a player. When you relax and show him your true feelings for him, he may hurt you deeply. This! To add: From my experience, people who are insecure about their feelings and afraid of getting close to people (as you mentioned earlier), don't tend to bring up marriage and love early on in the relationship. Also, as i'm sure you know, the honeymoon phase can make a person feel all sorts of ways. Some people vocalize this experience more than others. Feeling like you're in love and wanting marriage and children during the HM phase isn't uncommon. Now, i'm not necessarily saying he doesn't want these things with you. It's just that now that the 'dust has settled', he's most likely not inclined to continue vocalizing it the same way he has before. With all that said, my best advice to you is to tread carefully!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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