Oregon_Dude Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 So "you have a great ass" is good? Yeah, I was gonna say... "Nice tit"?
Author RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 One guy kept going on and on about my legs. It was a real turn-off. He kept calling them "pins". He'd even mention them for no reason like when he found I'd gone for a walk the day before he might say, "well no wonder you've got such silky long pins." Ewwww. He turned out to be a deranged sex pest. (slight exaggeration).
seekingluck Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Personally, I will give compliments that are a mixture between physical and personality. I feel like women want to be attractive to you, but also know that's not the only thing you value. I won't lead with how attractive I think someone is but as time passes when it feels natural I definitely will. I don't see a problem with it and am secure enough with my own presence that I don't worry that it will erroneously inflate her ego. Agree! Good tips. I am a person who generally reads as "cute." And also "smart." I had a really interesting conversation with an ex around compliments one day. He was liberal with the compliments. He told me I was pretty and I was thanks, but it wasn't like I was jumping up and down. And another day he called me "smart." And I also said thanks, but he felt I was more excited about that compliment. And he said, it seems like you are more comfortable being complimented about your brain than your looks, why? And when it comes down to it, for me at least. Compliments like "you are pretty, you are hot, you are gorgeous" whatever do not feel very genuine. Or actionable. For me they always seem like a lead in for someone who is trying to butter you up to get physical sooner than you wanted. A specific compliment, shows you know me, have listened to what I have told you, feels unique and shows you paying attention is always infinitely better and appreciated. 3
StBreton Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 so if a guy repeatedly says I have a great smile I should paint my lips like the joker's to play that feature up. Lmao Key words are "a bit" If a guy I'm dating thinks my skin is soft I'll wear a short sleeved shirt /dress so he gets to enjoy I've had lots of guys compliment my feet ...ok they're nice ...so I'll wear sandles Guys are stimulated by that stuff and it's nice to know they appreciate things I do to look nice by stating they like a certain thing. After a while you get to know what turns a guy on by what they compliment. This is the best part of getting past the first 3-4 dates IMO So ...what certain thing do you like to be complimented? 1
StBreton Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Agree! Good tips. I am a person who generally reads as "cute." And also "smart." I had a really interesting conversation with an ex around compliments one day. He was liberal with the compliments. He told me I was pretty and I was thanks, but it wasn't like I was jumping up and down. And another day he called me "smart." And I also said thanks, but he felt I was more excited about that compliment. And he said, it seems like you are more comfortable being complimented about your brain than your looks, why? And when it comes down to it, for me at least. Compliments like "you are pretty, you are hot, you are gorgeous" whatever do not feel very genuine. Or actionable. For me they always seem like a lead in for someone who is trying to butter you up to get physical sooner than you wanted. A specific compliment, shows you know me, have listened to what I have told you, feels unique and shows you paying attention is always infinitely better and appreciated. Yes yes yes!!!!
StBreton Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 One guy kept going on and on about my legs. It was a real turn-off. He kept calling them "pins". He'd even mention them for no reason like when he found I'd gone for a walk the day before he might say, "well no wonder you've got such silky long pins." Ewwww. He turned out to be a deranged sex pest. (slight exaggeration). Anything over done like this shows a lack of an emotionally intelligent filter. Next! 1
Author RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 Lmao Key words are "a bit" If a guy I'm dating thinks my skin is soft I'll wear a short sleeved shirt /dress so he gets to enjoy I've had lots of guys compliment my feet ...ok they're nice ...so I'll wear sandles Guys are stimulated by that stuff and it's nice to know they appreciate things I do to look nice by stating they like a certain thing. After a while you get to know what turns a guy on by what they compliment. This is the best part of getting past the first 3-4 dates IMO So ...what certain thing do you like to be complimented? I don't like it when guys say 'you've got great breasts' or 'lovely legs' because a roast chicken can have those same attributes. But telling somebody they are beautiful is fine. if a guy just focuses on the physical attributes though it's impossible to take him seriously. 1
Oregon_Dude Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Some of you broads have great stems, OK? Not my fault.
StBreton Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Some of you broads have great stems, OK? Not my fault. Oh no! Tell me you di'int just use the "b" word?
Author RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 Oh no! Tell me you di'int just use the "b" word? at least he didn't call us "females"
StBreton Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 at least he didn't call us "females" Hahahaha! Sorry OD... we're having a little fun with you 1
Oregon_Dude Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Likewise! Have a good weekend... hot dames.
introverted1 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 So "you have a great ass" is good? Yep, if we're at that point in the r/s, this is fine. Yeah, I was gonna say... "Nice tit"? Just one? I don't like it when guys say 'you've got great breasts' or 'lovely legs' because a roast chicken can have those same attributes. But telling somebody they are beautiful is fine. if a guy just focuses on the physical attributes though it's impossible to take him seriously. I feel exactly the opposite. When a guy tells me I have a great ass or nice legs (the former assuming we've progressed in the r/s, obviously), that's a lot better than more generic compliments, imo. Telling me I'm "hot" feels kind of smarmy, but if a guy I'm intimate with tells me he loves my ass, well, that's hot! But, yeah, initially, I like the compliments to be G-rated.
StBreton Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Likewise! Have a good weekend... hot dames. You as well OD. I have a date tonight with Mr Convertible ...source of another thread ...except it's raining here after we planned a top down drive to watch a band. He said we're still going top down ...I texted back "awesome! Just tell me how hot and sexy I look in my bright green rain cap" :) 1
katiegrl Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 (edited) As a woman, I generally assume that any guy dating me likes how I look. Men typically don't date women they are not attracted to. Plus, you can usually tell by the way the guy looks at you (both when he knows you can see him and when he thinks you can't). I'd much rather be complimented on who I am than how I look, at least until we are intimate and then the physical compliments are less generic. But being told I'm beautiful seems somehow generic and awkward at the same time. When men lay it on thick right off the bat... my antenna goes up. To me, it just sounds too disingenuous and contrived. I tend to not trust guys who lay it on thick when I first meet them... That could be cuz I've heard (from my commitment phobe/player brother), that telling a chick how beautiful/hot she is... is a play (one of them anyway) to get a woman into bed, the sooner the better. Even when they DON'T think she's all that hot....some men lay it on thick (even thicker than with a genuinely beautiful woman) because they know how women (certain women) eat that shyt up - so I tend not to take it too seriously. Not that I don't believe them (hell I AM hot...lol)... it just seems so contrived, like come on, you don't need to lay it on thick like that to get me to respond to you/like you/be attracted to you. Just be yourself please, be genuine, be REAL! It's sort of like saying "I love you" too soon -- I tend not to believe it when it's said too soon. Many people throw that phrase around like they're saying "hello" .... not even knowing what the hell love really means or is. They just think they should say it....or it's time to say it, so they say it....but it's sounds phony. In any event, I tend to know when a guy thinks I am beautiful/hot simply by the way he interacts with me and responds to me... Edited October 17, 2015 by katiegrl
phineas Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 As a woman if I went on say 3 or 4 dates with a guy and he didn't compliment my physical appearance at all I doubt I'd agree to go out with him again. It would just be weird and unusual. LOL! if he hasn't tried to have sex with you by date 3 or 4 then you have been friendzoned and should assume you just aren't that attractive to him so yeah, he wouldn't compliment you. When I meet a pretty girl, she already knows she is pretty but i make it clear in some way i'm attracted to her & want to take her out. After that I SHOW her I find her attractive. During first sex & after i'll verbalize how hot I think she is. then after that i'll probably compliment her once every time I see her. clothed. 2
Disconnect Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 I can't imagine being with someone and not acknowledging they're hot, or them saying it to me - desire and expressing it is what sets the relationship apart from all other relationships; friendship / acquaintances etc. 2
xcupid Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 There are many threads from guys who say they can't attract the women they desire, especially on OLD. So, men, when you do manage to get a date or two (or three) with a woman who is physically attractive, do you tend to tell her how gorgeous she is? Or do you play it cool so as not to seem overly impressed? Do you even throw in the occasional neg? A male colleague today was advising another male colleague to "never let her know how beautiful she is" and to "just act like her looks are no biggie." He claimed acknowledging a woman you've just met is really hot gives the woman too much power. This sounds dumb as hell to me..... Reserved for a girlfriend only not someone who you date. Never throw in a negative unless you enjoy living in a dog house.
hopelessromantic24 Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 I think if you're being honest, it'll just happen naturally. Observe, and compliment accordingly.
Popsicle Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 I want the guy I'm seeing to think I'm beautiful and freely compliment me. If he doesn't, I will assume he's not interested enough, or has hangup's (some people truly feel that it is devaluing themselves to compliment anyone else) and just date someone who does not have that.
lino Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 If one ever needed a discussion thread which shows that women don't know what they want... This is it!
seekingluck Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 If one ever needed a discussion thread which shows that women don't know what they want... This is it! A women knows what she wants but not all women want the same thing. Figure out what the woman sitting in front of you wants. 1
gaius Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 It would be kind of pointless to pretend she's not, or to just not acknowledge the fact. I know it, she knows it, everyone who lays eyes on her knows it. She's beautiful to the point it shapes her daily interactions with the world so it has to come up occasionally in general conversation. It would be a hard subject to avoid even if I was a dick who didn't want to tell her how attractive I find her. Which I'm not. I have a hard time taking my eyes off her, she's so f-ing hot.
CalvinM Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 I think when you reach a certain age, the term "hot" isn't as flattering as pretty or beautiful.
veggirl Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 Rose you sound very high maintenance. You insist a man tells you you are hot by the 3rd or 4th date but apparently it has to be in a very specific way - like you said "you have a great smile" wouldn't be good enough, so wow he better hope he compliments you just how you like it.
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