RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 There are many threads from guys who say they can't attract the women they desire, especially on OLD. So, men, when you do manage to get a date or two (or three) with a woman who is physically attractive, do you tend to tell her how gorgeous she is? Or do you play it cool so as not to seem overly impressed? Do you even throw in the occasional neg? A male colleague today was advising another male colleague to "never let her know how beautiful she is" and to "just act like her looks are no biggie." He claimed acknowledging a woman you've just met is really hot gives the woman too much power. This sounds dumb as hell to me.....
casey.lives Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 The fact is that a lot of people are attracted to people who like THEM. If you're an emotional person.. this is more true than not. If your sensible.. and this happens frequently.. you can seem common. It's a left brain/right brain thing, i suppose.
Author RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 GF, yes. Dates, no. So say you got the 2nd date with a woman who looked like [insert name of celebrity you find ridiculously beautiful] you'd act as if it's no biggie, not mention her gorgeousness, and carry on as if you date chicks as hot as that every day of the week?
Oregon_Dude Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 A male colleague today was advising another male colleague to "never let her know how beautiful she is" and to "just act like her looks are no biggie." He claimed acknowledging a woman you've just met is really hot gives the woman too much power. This sounds dumb as hell to me.....Your guy friends are right. Women, on OLD especially, constantly get barraged with messages like "Hey, beautiful" and "you're so sexy". How do you set yourself apart? By treating them like actual people and not visual things for your pleasure. This means messaging them something about their LIFE and not their appearance. However, once I've locked a girl down, of course I will compliment her on her beauty. GFs love that sh*t, and I love making them swoon. 1
Oregon_Dude Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 So say you got the 2nd date with a woman who looked like [insert name of celebrity you find ridiculously beautiful] you'd act as if it's no biggie, not mention her gorgeousness, and carry on as if you date chicks as hot as that every day of the week?I'd compliment her, but I wouldn't lay it on thick or act like she's above me. 'Cause she ain't.
empresario Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Personally, I will give compliments that are a mixture between physical and personality. I feel like women want to be attractive to you, but also know that's not the only thing you value. I won't lead with how attractive I think someone is but as time passes when it feels natural I definitely will. I don't see a problem with it and am secure enough with my own presence that I don't worry that it will erroneously inflate her ego. 11
Strength in Healing Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Your coworker is correct when he said act like her looks are no biggie. They aren't. Gorgeous girls are a dime a dozen. Go to any mall in the USA you'll see plenty. I don't tell them too often how beautiful they are. But I don't date girls that aren't in the high end scale, so to them, the word beautiful/gorgeous/hot/mesmerizing/sexy have lost all meaning because they hear it all the time. What's the point? I'll compliment you on what makes you special.
Author RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 As a woman if I went on say 3 or 4 dates with a guy and he didn't compliment my physical appearance at all I doubt I'd agree to go out with him again. It would just be weird and unusual. 2
Author RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 Your coworker is correct when he said act like her looks are no biggie. They aren't. Gorgeous girls are a dime a dozen. Go to any mall in the USA you'll see plenty. I don't tell them too often how beautiful they are. But I don't date girls that aren't in the high end scale, so to them, the word beautiful/gorgeous/hot/mesmerizing/sexy have lost all meaning because they hear it all the time. What's the point? I'll compliment you on what makes you special. You don't necessarily understand us women my friend. The guy who posted above you got it right. You don't need to lay it on thick, but there needs to be some acknowledgment, however slight, of the fact you find her really hot. If you don't, there are plenty of other men who will! 1
Author RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 Personally, I will give compliments that are a mixture between physical and personality. I feel like women want to be attractive to you, but also know that's not the only thing you value. I won't lead with how attractive I think someone is but as time passes when it feels natural I definitely will. I don't see a problem with it and am secure enough with my own presence that I don't worry that it will erroneously inflate her ego. This is absolutely spot on.
Strength in Healing Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 You don't necessarily understand us women my friend. The guy who posted above you got it right. You don't need to lay it on thick, but there needs to be some acknowledgment, however slight, of the fact you find her really hot. If you don't, there are plenty of other men who will! I agree I don't understand them lol will you be my tutor? And sorry I didn't mean to act like I never call them beautiful. Of course I do. I just will not make it a five time a day thing.
oberkeat Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I never give anyone a compliment they haven't earned.
Oregon_Dude Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 This is also a fun one. Me - "Do men get nervous around you?" Her - "Why?" Me - "Because you are attractive, duh." Her - laugh, blush, etc. 1
Author RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 I agree I don't understand them lol will you be my tutor? And sorry I didn't mean to act like I never call them beautiful. Of course I do. I just will not make it a five time a day thing. I find that guys I've gone out with fall into one of two categories. There are those that just go on about your physical attributes way too much to the point where you can only assume their sole interest is getting your panties down ASAP. Then the more serious guys tend to always drop some comment into the conversation that confirms they think you're gorgeous within the first two to three dates. They certainly won't keep going on about it but at the same time they will let you know in no uncertain terms that they find you very attractive. Without that, you might just as well be hanging out as platonic friends. 1
Strength in Healing Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I find that guys I've gone out with fall into one of two categories. There are those that just go on about your physical attributes way too much to the point where you can only assume their sole interest is getting your panties down ASAP. Then the more serious guys tend to always drop some comment into the conversation that confirms they think you're gorgeous within the first two to three dates. They certainly won't keep going on about it but at the same time they will let you know in no uncertain terms that they find you very attractive. Without that, you might just as well be hanging out as platonic friends. Good advice. You've proven your ability to partake in introspection and interspection. For lesson two lets meet for dinner!
travelbug1996 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 A confident man has no problem complimenting a woman. In my experience, men with the lowest esteem seem to think there's something wrong with complimenting a woman. It means he admires her beauty- not that she gains power over him. Ugh 3
Author RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 Good advice. You've proven your ability to partake in introspection and interspection. For lesson two lets meet for dinner! hahahaha. Send me your full body full frontal nude pic and we'll talk 1
Strength in Healing Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 hahahaha. Send me your full body full frontal nude pic and we'll talk Lmao send me a PM 1
Author RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 A confident man has no problem complimenting a woman. In my experience, men with the lowest esteem seem to think there's something wrong with complimenting a woman. It means he admires her beauty- not that she gains power over him. Ugh This!!!!
empresario Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 You don't necessarily understand us women my friend. The guy who posted above you got it right. You don't need to lay it on thick, but there needs to be some acknowledgment, however slight, of the fact you find her really hot. If you don't, there are plenty of other men who will! While I appreciate your agreement to my post, I could see the argument for either side of it as well (either laying it on thick, or none at all). I don't think there's a right answer. For example, think of men in your life that are friendly to you, though not romantic interests. Coworkers, perhaps. Maybe your friends' husbands. It is almost universal that some of those guys it will feel natural to show physical affection. Some you hug, some you never touch. But the amount of touching bares no indication of how close that friend is. I've found by watching people, the same guys that you allow to hug you, will hug a lot of other women as well. Some people it's natural, non-creepy, and taken as friendship. Where I'm going with this, is the same logic can be applied to men complimenting you. Some are confident and smooth as to which it feels natural. Two guys say the same thing...one comes off as a creep and one doesn't. Some men can't really use their words to fluently advocate your beauty at all. So depending on how confident and comfortable you are articulating that combined with your general demeanor may affect your general strategy. I think a guy could right away blow you away with kind words and it would feel natural if he's obviously confident and comfortable with what he's saying. However, most men (and people in general) are innately self-conscious, hindering their ability to get away with it. Most people require balance, as you are describing.
menyou Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Wow! Was there love connection made in this thread? Lol 1
Author RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 wow! Was there love connection made in this thread? Lol
StBreton Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 So say you got the 2nd date with a woman who looked like [insert name of celebrity you find ridiculously beautiful] you'd act as if it's no biggie, not mention her gorgeousness, and carry on as if you date chicks as hot as that every day of the week? I have people who tell me I look like Elizabeth Shue a lot. When I was in my 20s ...if a guy made mention of my looks that was the last date. No question. I wanted to be liked for what was inside and didn't want to be with anyone who was enamored with the exterior. I'm still the same way. Not into shallow guys. Now if after we're dating a while the guy says "hey you sexy hot chic you" and grabs me in an embrace ...nice!
thecrucible Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Personally, I will give compliments that are a mixture between physical and personality. I feel like women want to be attractive to you, but also know that's not the only thing you value. I won't lead with how attractive I think someone is but as time passes when it feels natural I definitely will. I don't see a problem with it and am secure enough with my own presence that I don't worry that it will erroneously inflate her ego. I like this. You want to feel that the guy finds you attractive but he doesn't lay it on thick. That makes me feel uncomfortable. I want to feel like the guy is interested in who I am as a person from the beginning so it feels like he has no hidden agenda. Then this puts me at ease and physical compliments feel more real after you know the guy genuinely likes you. If a guy compliments me on my looks, it feels good for a second but it makes no difference to how I feel about him. 1
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