poly0329 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I've posted on here before. Long story short, I found out that my fiance was bisexual and in a relationship with the man he was living with before I moved in. This man left for bootcamp, meaning they had no way of talking, and everything went down hill since he left. We agreed to try being in a polyamourous relationship (about 3 weeks before this man left). Things were going great, my fiance was happy, and I was seeing if I myself could handle it, which I was doing ok (I knew and told my fiance it would take me awhile to get there). We agreed that if we couldn't handle it, we would talk about it. Well, my fiance said that me and him weren't working. That he didn't want to try anymore. This was about 4 weeks after the other guy left. He said that I "gave up" on the relationship. That all I did was mope and cry. Well, he was pushing me away. I tried and tried and tried to keep things going. And all he would do was work, work at home (we're teachers) and sleep on the couch. And he would mope and cry too (not in front of me, but I could hear it when we were in bed). I don't know what to do. I feel so lost and confused. He said so many hurtful things to me over the past few days, its like he's just not himself. I asked him repeatedly to go see a Dr, that I believe he was depressed over things in his life (it runs on both sides of his family) and he had said he had thought about suicide over the last few weeks. He doesn't talk to anyone, his mom calls, he would ignore it, his sister calls, he would ignore it. This man is nothing but a shell of the one I fell in love with. He is letting his medical conditions and not being able to talk to his boyfriend cloud everything. I have to see him at work still, and there are days I"m ok, and days I just want to hug him. I did not want this to end. I wanted us to work on things, and while he says he needs to be "alone" to figure htings out, I know he'll just go be with this other guy. He says he can't, since he'll be out on a ship for 6 months for school, but that doesn't mean they won't talk. He doesn't even look at me at school, talk to me... he's completely cut me off. I hate it. He tells me I gave up... but then he'd tell me I did nothing wrong, that it was all him. He's just all over the place.
d0nnivain Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Your FI was kidding himself about being bi-sexual. He's gay. He wants a man not a woman. He was using you because he wasn't ready to be gay & he wanted the beard of a wife. Although it's easier to be gay now then it ever has been, it's still not easy. You need to end this engagement, wish him well & move on to a straight man who can love YOU. It really isn't you. It really is him. That's no reason for him to be mean to you. But you can't fix / change this. As much as they aren't the example of anything, look at Kris Kardashian. I'm glad Caitlyn gets to be who she is but if I was Kris I'd be completely freaked out.
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