MaticPecovnik Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I would like to thank everyone who reads this and I will try to keep it short. So… About two weeks ago I moved into a student dormitory, because I wanted to meet new people and also I wanted to become more independent and self-reliant. I got really great roommates and we get along great and one of them is this girl. As soon as I saw here I felt some attraction but I kind of brushed it off because she is my roommate and I really didnt want to complicate my living situation. Well as it turns out, the choice was not entirely mine. As we talked more and more I discovered we have this amazing chemistry and attraction. Sometimes I feel I could cut the sexual tension in the air with a knife. I did have a relationship with a girl before and there was also this very good chemistry but I would say that this is better. I think it is partly because how I have really matured and have gotten very confident. When we talk we always flirt and we literally laugh all the time. Like really deep belly laughs. When we are in a group of people I catch here looking at me and only recently I noticed that we also sometimes just look into each others eyes. Not for very long but each day as we get more comfortable a little longer. I also notice that after we spend a lot of time together she always has this glow about her and here eyes sparkle. I must emphasize that all of this could be a figment of my imagination… She could just be really nice or really outgoing. I know she is nice because she is warm to every one of our roommates but I would dare say that she is just a little warmer towards me. Well I can definetely say I am starting to fall for this girl. I know I only know here for two weeks but I would dare say that she is the best girl I have meet so far in my life. Before you say anything I want to say that I do know that there are a lot of girls out there so if it doesnt go as I hope with this girl I definetely now I am going to be ok. So here is the problem… She has a boyfriend. She has been with this guy for about 5 years. We dont really talk about him so I dont know anything but I have noticed (looking for signs everywhere I guess) that she does not like to talk about him. Everytime his name comes up she strictly answers the question and never elaborates. Also when talking about him she becomes this other person. The best way to describe it is that she becomes closed of. She looks down, she becomes quieter, she loses the glow of happines that otherwise sorounds her. And it is not like we dont know him or something. He is crashing in her room becaues he is appartment hunting at the moment. He is a ok guy as far as I know him, but something about him seems of to me (probably because I reeeeeealy like his girl). So this is my situation. Do you have any suggestions for me or advice? I am currently thinking something in the line that I should just hang out with here and talk about stuff so we become even more comfortable with each other and if she trully does see me in this sort of light and if she is not happy with this guy like I suggested in the previous paragraph, then maybe I do have a shoot. I dont really see a solution where my role is active. Have a great day. Matic
d0nnivain Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Never ever date a roommate. You have no where to go if it ends. The semester will be over before you know it. Once you don't live in the same suite, if she no longer has a BF you can date. While she still has a BF, you have to stay away. You are reading the tea leaves the way you want this to turn out. The laughter, the talks & the looks across the room could just be her being friendly. Her not talking about her BF does not automatically mean she's on the verge of dumping him for you. I see no indication here -- other than desire on your part -- that she fancies you. Back off. When and if your living situation changes & she no longer has a BF you can ask her on a date, until then do absolutely nothing. If you can't trust yourself not to make move, never be alone with her. 1
Strength in Healing Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 D0nn is correct. The official term is confirmation bias. And never forget: if she would do it with you, she would do it to you.
Miss Peach Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I think you should just continue to hang out with her until your living situation changes and she no longer has the BF int he picture. 1
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