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slept with the one guy we agreed she wouldnt while on a break

confusedrobert

By confusedrobert
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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confusedrobert New Member

confusedrobert

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i have been dating this girl for about 2 years.... 4 months into our relationship she told me she wanted a break from us to see if this is what we both wanted, i agreed to the break because i didn't want to loose her but there were conditions to the "BREAK". they were that we would keep it a secret but she told her friends and they all new ... we agreed that she wouldn't sleep with a certain guy she had a crush on at her work but she did she say 5 times but who knows.

Edited by confusedrobert
starpower Member

starpower

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She said what 5 times? That slept with that guy 5 times? or that she said 5 times she wouldn't do that?

starpower Member

starpower

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Did you only just find out what she did during this so called break recently?

Strength in Healing Established Member

Strength in Healing

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O lawd. Conditions of a break? Breaks are breakups, first off.

 

I know your pain though. This happened to me with a girl I was with for 4 years. Not that I was entirely innocent, but alas, you have to recognize you cannot trust her. You want her back for your ego and/or to relieve the pain, but this situation is a lot like your arm being severed in a violent accident; sometimes it can be reattached, but the damage is done. It will never be as functional. Accept your loss my friend and grow from it. We've all been there.

OldRover Established Member

OldRover

Posted
Posted
i have been dating this girl for about 2 years.... 4 months into our relationship she told me she wanted a break from us to see if this is what we both wanted, i agreed to the break because i didn't want to loose her but there were conditions to the "BREAK". they were that we would keep it a secret but she told her friends and they all new ... we agreed that she wouldn't sleep with a certain guy she had a crush on at her work but she did she say 5 times but who knows.

 

Sounds like you need a break from the relationship, too..... permanently.

kgcolonel Established Member

kgcolonel

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Confused R

 

So you've been dating her for 2 years, took a break 4 months in. You didn't tell how long the break was or if you dabbled with someone else.

 

At any rate, how has the time since the break been? Has it been good for you other than the period during the break, any signs of infidelity since etc?

MJJean Established Member

MJJean

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You've been dating for two years, but took a break to decide if there was something better out there. She found out there was and she slept with him. She's not a suitable mate. Move on.

CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

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There is no "breaks" from relationships.

 

If you are in one, than there is the assumption of monogamy.

 

If you are not in one, than what another person does is their business.

  • Like 5
d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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This is why breaks are stupid. They cause more problems then they solve. If you want to fix a relationship you stay together & work together. Breaks make everything worse.

 

 

Anyway, the combo of the break & her behavior during it tells me your relationship is so flawed it can't be fixed so don't bother.

central Established Member

central

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Yes, you were on a secret break, AND you both agreed to the conditions of the time out.

 

She lied to you about conditions, broke them deliberately and intentionally, deceived you after the fact, and finally either got caught out or admitted her cheating behavior. She is manipulative and completely untrustworthy.

 

Time to dump her and go NC.

organizedchaos Established Member

organizedchaos

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Who asks for a break after just 4 months? You should still be in the honeymoon phase humping like rabbits. That should have been your first clue this was just a reason to sleep with someone else.

  • Like 2
road Established Member

road

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Posted
i have been dating this girl for about 2 years.... 4 months into our relationship she told me she wanted a break from us to see if this is what we both wanted, i agreed to the break because i didn't want to loose her but there were conditions to the "BREAK". they were that we would keep it a secret but she told her friends and they all new ... we agreed that she wouldn't sleep with a certain guy she had a crush on at her work but she did she say 5 times but who knows.

 

 

The old rule is that men multiply their number by a factor of 3 and women divide theirs by 3.

 

 

When did you find out about her dating and having sex with the co worker?

Spectre Established Member

Spectre

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Going on a break from something to see if this is what you both want? Right. That is like saying I am going to stop eating chicken to find out if I truly enjoy eating chicken.

 

Let me translate to you what she said: I want the chance to experience other dudes and if we are on a break when we do this I will feel less guilty.

 

Also uh she has a crush on a guy from work so..dump her. Why stay with a girl who gets crushes on other dudes while with you? When you say she "said it 5 times" are you saying she told the crush at work multiple times she was on a break from her boyfriend despite promising to keep it secret?

TX-SC Established Member

TX-SC

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Break=breakup. Always has, always will. There are rare exceptions. This is not one.

  • Like 2
Michelle ma Belle Established Member

Michelle ma Belle

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We need more context, or at least I do.

 

I'm going to assume that you got back together if you've been dating for 2 years and the break happened 4 months in which begs the question...why are you obsessing about this now?!

  • Like 1
qubist Established Member

qubist

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We need more context, or at least I do.

 

I'm going to assume that you got back together if you've been dating for 2 years and the break happened 4 months in which begs the question...why are you obsessing about this now?!

you are not alone Michelle, I'm confused too I think they've been dating for 2 years, but 4 months into their relationship they took a break , no details about how long the break lasted, they agreed that during the break she wouldn't sleep with some guy she had /has a crush on.but he just found out that she did 5 times

  • Like 1
Michelle ma Belle Established Member

Michelle ma Belle

Posted
Posted
you are not alone Michelle, I'm confused too I think they've been dating for 2 years, but 4 months into their relationship they took a break , no details about how long the break lasted, they agreed that during the break she wouldn't sleep with some guy she had /has a crush on.but he just found out that she did 5 times

 

I guess then we need to find out when they got back together, IF they got back together :o

 

I fear they might still be on a "break" but the OP doesn't realize it's really a "break-up". I hope I'm wrong about this.

  • Like 1
qubist Established Member

qubist

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Posted
I guess then we need to find out when they got back together, IF they got back together :o

 

I fear they might still be on a "break" but the OP doesn't realize it's really a "break-up". I hope I'm wrong about this.

 

not enough information to judge but i'm like you it seems to be a break up rather than just a break

T-16bullseyeWompRat Established Member

T-16bullseyeWompRat

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If i had to take a guess it would be the OP was told by his SO that they needed to take a break. Shs made up some lies to OP about why they were splitting. "She needed to take a break" said it was for one reason or another. But really she just broke it off to go sleep with the other man. They broke up, then she gets back with OP. He finds out the real reason they split, and is now looking for advice on weather or not we think she cheated while they split. He is still trying to wrap his head around how his woman can leave him for another man then just come crawling back like nothing happened.

Spectre Established Member

Spectre

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Posted
We need more context, or at least I do.

 

I'm going to assume that you got back together if you've been dating for 2 years and the break happened 4 months in which begs the question...why are you obsessing about this now?!

 

Sometimes it can take a while for these things to really set in, or sometimes a trigger can happen to cause it.

 

Far as I am concerned when it comes to relationships there isn't a statute of limitations on shady behavior. Doesn't matter if this happened 2 years ago or 20 years ago.

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