ManyDissapoint Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 In honor of the upcoming 1 year breakup 'anniversary', I'm posting a progress report. Sometimes I read posts of people who bounce back stronger. I don't know if that's me. My outlook on the world and relationships has permanently changed. I don't feel like the same person anymore. I guess the word is jaded. Without further ado: Positives: -Quit smoking -Lost 20 lbs of fat -Gained 20 lbs of muscle -Finally have digested the fact that my ex was not a good person. Fundamentally dishonest and inauthentic. Would not take her back. I don't blame myself for more than my fair share. -Made a new good friend, and a handful of acquaintances -Started a second job teaching English, mostly to get myself out of my rural area which is lonely and full of memories. The city is full of young people. My village is populated by southern european zombies. -Went on dates with three women. Had awful sex with one, she turned psycho. Her little sister (15) tried to hook up with me (I stayed well away from that). -Made out with several girls in bars. Enjoyed it I suppose but mostly made me feel like crap over and over again thinking about losing the feeling I had in my last relationship, and how hard it will be to replace. -My business is growing very slowly but slowly it's looking up. Negatives: -I have given up on my dream to have a wife and family. -I'm still plagued by doubts about my decision to have a business in a bad economy not in my home country. Tempted to leave it all behind and work for a decent wage again Psychological limbo basically because I am loathe to give up my investment here and be a wage slave again. Other people depend on me. -Very hard to meet women. I have asked out many but they are usually not single. -Still live in my crap apartment, because it's close to my business. But because I'm in limbo I don't feel like moving. -My ex does still occupy some space in my mind. However I know she will be erased with a good new woman. -I think I'm addicted to reading about male / female relationships and psychology. I find myself unable to concentrate while reading anything else anymore. -Have not been able to master new hobbies as some people are able to after a BU. -I worry a lot about my future, and my family's future. -I think my cat has an obesity problem. That's about it. 2
David87 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Awesome progress. Good job! Except this part: I have given up on my dream to have a wife and family.
Meli22 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Well done. Don't see why you have given up on the dream of having a wife and family though? That's very negative and if it stems from your experience with your ex, then it's a real shame to let another person dictate the rest of your life.
Samuel_22 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 In honor of the upcoming 1 year breakup 'anniversary', I'm posting a progress report. Sometimes I read posts of people who bounce back stronger. I don't know if that's me. My outlook on the world and relationships has permanently changed. I don't feel like the same person anymore. I guess the word is jaded. Without further ado: Positives: -Quit smoking -Lost 20 lbs of fat -Gained 20 lbs of muscle -Finally have digested the fact that my ex was not a good person. Fundamentally dishonest and inauthentic. Would not take her back. I don't blame myself for more than my fair share. -Made a new good friend, and a handful of acquaintances -Started a second job teaching English, mostly to get myself out of my rural area which is lonely and full of memories. The city is full of young people. My village is populated by southern european zombies. -Went on dates with three women. Had awful sex with one, she turned psycho. Her little sister (15) tried to hook up with me (I stayed well away from that). -Made out with several girls in bars. Enjoyed it I suppose but mostly made me feel like crap over and over again thinking about losing the feeling I had in my last relationship, and how hard it will be to replace. -My business is growing very slowly but slowly it's looking up. Negatives: -I have given up on my dream to have a wife and family. -I'm still plagued by doubts about my decision to have a business in a bad economy not in my home country. Tempted to leave it all behind and work for a decent wage again Psychological limbo basically because I am loathe to give up my investment here and be a wage slave again. Other people depend on me. -Very hard to meet women. I have asked out many but they are usually not single. -Still live in my crap apartment, because it's close to my business. But because I'm in limbo I don't feel like moving. -My ex does still occupy some space in my mind. However I know she will be erased with a good new woman. -I think I'm addicted to reading about male / female relationships and psychology. I find myself unable to concentrate while reading anything else anymore. -Have not been able to master new hobbies as some people are able to after a BU. -I worry a lot about my future, and my family's future. -I think my cat has an obesity problem. That's about it. This is really good! I have no doubt you will be working on negative parts and soon your ex will be history for good. I am 28 and it has been almost 63 days since I implemented NC and 70 days since BU. I have to admit. although I have made some really good progress too, a handful of negative things you have mentioned in your post are here, and plague my progress. The worst feeling I have, is that I will never find someone to love any time soon, and I might not find the person at all, so that has led me to say I have given up on the dream of having a wife and a family too.
Author ManyDissapoint Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 I will not marry someone I'm not crazy about. And it took me 30 years to find one I was crazy about, and she betrayed me. I think I'll pass.
Samuel_22 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I will not marry someone I'm not crazy about. And it took me 30 years to find one I was crazy about, and she betrayed me. I think I'll pass. It took me 28 years to find one, and she betrayed me too It sucks, you and I are in the same boat here, will I ever fall in love? this is the only question that keeps hurting me. and yeah I won't marry anyone I am not crazy about either, just because everyone gets married, that does not mean I have to the same thing. Unless, I can meet the right person before 33-34... I will not marry anyone.
LoveIsMyReligion Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Hey man I am right there with you. I know this doesn't mean crap coming from a total stranger but I really do think you will find someone if you were capable of loving someone for 2+ years.
Stercrazy Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Sounds like good progress. I'm about a year post breakup myself. NC since Feb. LC between late Sept. '14 & Feb '15. I have actually embraced being single. I did the online thing and had a few superficial hookups. I'm embracing the fact that my only obligation is to my young daughter. Im not sure if I want a relationship now. I would continue to work on the negatives. That's how you heal completely. Don't put a time limit on it as everyone is different. Be who you are meant to be. 1
xpaperxcutx Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 I love your progress because at least you're not pining over her. Im 8 months out and still cry for my ex. But then again I'm a girl and I'm emotional as hell. I dont want to date or have random hookups. What do i have to do to completely move on and let go of hope?
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