mortensorchid Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Weeks ago I connected with this guy on a dating website. He seemed like an ok guy the little I know about him. He works most nights and weekends, he said but he would make time for me. He also friended me on Facebook and of course I looked at his page. Turns out he has three little kids who live in another state. I specifically asked if they were his kids or not, he said that the three in the pictures were his kids and they live in another state. He asked if that was a problem, I said no. Which it isn't, at this point that is. I barely know him after all. We had arranged to meet on Tuesday night around 10 pm which is when he got out of work. I sent a text during the day on Tuesday asking if we were still on for that night. No response, around midnight he sends me an IM through Facebook saying sorry he got held up at work doing things. But he wanted to reschedule for Thursday. I said ok. Well, it's after midnight (Friday morning) when I am making this post. I did not hear from him Wednesday nor during the day on Thursday, I was not about to reach out since he did not reach out to me. Next! It's disconcerting to know that someone does not try. At least I found out now. 1
JustGettingBy Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Moving on is the right thing to do. Not contacting before hand twice in a row is ridiculous. 1
Guyouthere Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Moving on is the right thing to do. Not contacting before hand twice in a row is ridiculous. He is bad news. 2
jam.over.jelly Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 good thing you haven't even met him. Two strikes. He's out. 2
Zippy2000 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Sorry, Im not undertanding your post. You mention in your title you were stood up. It appears reading from your post you never met up with him and his communication was poor so the arrangement to meeet wasnt confirmed. Technically. You havent been stood up. Youre only stood up if you appear at at a predestined place or time and he/she doesnt show up. He just never agreed so you werent stood up. 1
Toodaloo Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 This one is a bad cookie. Don't even give him a second thought.
hippychick3 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 It's not a good idea to add someone to your Facebook before getting to know someone much less before you even meet. Why would you want some stranger seeing all of your private pictures and posts? Next time, let the guy confirm the date and let him schedule a first date before 10pm. If a guy doesn't follow through on showing up, unless he is in the hospital, he's not worth a follow up. Don't call or text him again. Move on. 3
kassy Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I agree it's a bit weird about being friends on Facebook with someone you don't know... Also this kind of thing happens all the time, to me you seem a bit overly annoyed by it. I mean I'm not saying it's great behavior but like someone else said you didn't get all dressed up go somewhere and get stood up, vague plans didn't materialize with some guy you don't know... I personally wouldn't be invested enough for this to make me angry, he saved me from wasting time getting to know someone who isn't what I'm looking for. A simple... Well that was a bit rude and then move on. Maybe you are investing too much too soon? I don't know you so this is just something to think about and decide for yourself if that's the case. Anyway better luck with the next guy 1
jen1447 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Have you blocked him on Facebook yet? I wouldn't even do that - not important enough to block.
candie13 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 delete and next him. no hard feelings I was in a similar situation, I chatted with a dude that I had met before and he invited me for a drink on Thursday, mentioning the event where he wanted us to go. He never said a word on Thursday, nor did I. On Friday, he tries to call me on fb - I'm missing his call. He messages me that he had his brother in law over and was crushing at his place etc etc, that he was sorry and that he was around that weekend if I ever wanted to hang out. I deleted him off fb and never replied back. It would have been really easy for him to just text and explain the situation on Thursday - but I guess that was taking too much of his efforts. Well, it's taking me too much effort to respond to his. I want my man to treat me with consideration and care. He ain't it. NEXT ! 1
hippychick3 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I wouldn't even do that - not important enough to block. She should most definitely block him or at least unfriend him. She's never met him!
jen1447 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 She should most definitely block him or at least unfriend him. She's never met him! She decided to friend him in the first place, which is her prerogative, not ours. When you unfriend someone, it bscly says "butthurt." Not the message you want to send to someone you should be blowing off.
Rejected Rosebud Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I wouldn't even do that - not important enough to block. Except he is a stranger she never even met, he should not be on her facebook and OP what were you thinking, girl??? :mad: That is dangerous. No you didn't get stood up, either. You never met a guy you had contact with online. I understand why that would make you feel bad for a minute!! Next!!
jen1447 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Except he is a stranger she never even met, he should not be on her facebook and OP what were you thinking, girl??? :mad: That is dangerous. No you didn't get stood up, either. You never met a guy you had contact with online. I understand why that would make you feel bad for a minute!! Next!! There's nothing really dangerous about friending someone on FB unless you were using a secret identity to talk to them originally for some reason and now you've positively identified yourself thru FB. Even that assumes he's a 'dangerous' guy, which he most likely isn't. (Most random ppl aren't creepers/stalkers/killers.)
Rejected Rosebud Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I don't know Jen but for me I have so much personal stuff about my daily life on fb. I am not saying the guy is dangerous, I mean that it is dangerous behavior to friend strangers you are considering dating on fb just as a general rule, they shouldn't have a window into your everyday life, your actual friends, where you were on vacation, whatever. Basically I just think that person has no business with anything to do with her and vice versa so she should just block or unfriend or whatever and leave it behind. Even making a whole thread about a guy from OLD that you didn't meet shows some kind of boundary issues:confused: maybe?? Cart before horse kind of thing??
candie13 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 She decided to friend him in the first place, which is her prerogative, not ours. When you unfriend someone, it bscly says "butthurt." Not the message you want to send to someone you should be blowing off. Yeah, maybe he thinks I'm "butthurt" because I have "feelings" for him and I secretly wanna marry him ! Who cares what an idiot I'll never see in my life thinks about me ! I don't want him to see where I hang out or the the future parties I'll be attending, 'cause I really don't feel like "accidentally" bumping into him - I live in a small city. Plus the beach party pics etc... naaaah, I'm a deleter, safer 1
jen1447 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Yeah, maybe he thinks I'm "butthurt" because I have "feelings" for him and I secretly wanna marry him ! Who cares what an idiot I'll never see in my life thinks about me ! I don't want him to see where I hang out or the the future parties I'll be attending, 'cause I really don't feel like "accidentally" bumping into him - I live in a small city. Plus the beach party pics etc... naaaah, I'm a deleter, safer I thought we were talking about mortensorchid, candie.
candie13 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 and that was a personal response on a "general" comment ! morten... hum... I dunno... the guy stands her up twice and she shouldn't delete him because he might think she's "buthurt" ... yeah... lemme think..
hippychick3 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 She decided to friend him in the first place, which is her prerogative, not ours. When you unfriend someone, it bscly says "butthurt." Not the message you want to send to someone you should be blowing off. Obviously it's her decision and not ours. But she came here asking advice. My advice is to never again friend a stranger on fb and to unfriend the stranger she unwisely did friend. Who cares what he thinks??? She should not have any further contact with this guy as it is.
Miss Peach Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 It's happened to me a few times for dates from OLD. I would just strike him from your list. Not sure what the deal is with him and I wouldn't care. He's not a good match for you.
StBreton Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 She decided to friend him in the first place, which is her prerogative, not ours. When you unfriend someone, it bscly says "butthurt." Not the message you want to send to someone you should be blowing off. Do people know if you've unfriended them on FB? I'm on FB ...go on once a year ...but completely in the dark how it works. I only add people I've know over a few years or am related to ...most are people I've known 10+ yrs ...social media paranoid I guess In any case ...unfriendly him ...his behavior doesn't show he's into you.
jen1447 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Do people know if you've unfriended them on FB? I'm on FB ...go on once a year ...but completely in the dark how it works. Yeah, you won't appear in their friends list anymore. (Has to be mutual to be 'friends' in FB.)
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