seeingthisguy Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Hi everyone - I was seeing this guy for 6 months, and he was amazing. At least he was amazing for the first 4 months. After that, he got distant, and something felt off. Id ask him about it, and he'd say "of course nothing is wrong," and kiss me, and things would be fine...until they weren't. Anyway, he ended up breaking things off with me over a text message. I was devastated. A week later, he officially had a new girlfriend. And I know, im not an idiot - it's probably obvious to you all that he was seeing her while he was seeing me. I feel like someone drove a train through my chest, and that feeling is making me realize that I love him. I don't want to hate him (we were friends first), but I'm so hurt. We see eachother on a fairly regular basis, and just seeing him with someone else so soon kills me. When I saw him last, he kept bringing up "how gorgeous" he thought I looked, and "how great" the sex we had was...which I thought was a really strange thing to do seeing as he now has a GF. Why is he doing this? And how can I move on? I'll be honest with you all - I don't even know what I'm asking anymore lol.
Ami1uwant Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Sorry this happened. What was said when your relationship ended? What were the reasons for the break up?
Author seeingthisguy Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 Sorry this happened. What was said when your relationship ended? What were the reasons for the break up? He just said he "didn't fall in love with me," I was crushed. But now that I'm not around as often, when I do see him, he's almost more attached? He even pulled a gf of mine aside the last time we were out and told her he thought I was stunning that night. Not sure why he'd tell her that - of course she'd report it back to me! ...unless he knew that would happen O_o omg.
emi Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Well, can you avoid him? This dude sounds like a biggest *******. He keeps putting salt in your wound. **** what he said, look what he does. If he loves you he be with you. The rest is garbage, he just trying to ease his guilt. It doesnt necessarily means he means what he said. You should try to distance yourself from him as soon as possible. Drop all contact 2
Author seeingthisguy Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 Well, can you avoid him? This dude sounds like a biggest *******. He keeps putting salt in your wound. **** what he said, look what he does. If he loves you he be with you. The rest is garbage, he just trying to ease his guilt. It doesnt necessarily means he means what he said. You should try to distance yourself from him as soon as possible. Drop all contact I've thought about dropping all contact, but why does the thought of that make me feel guilty? I was in shock when I saw him the other night - if I didn't know better I'd think he was trying to get into my pants. But I agree, if he wanted to be with me he would be. I think now at best, he may be missing me a bit (f***ing good, lol) - I'm just having a hard time coping with all of this. I didn't think he could ever be this person because we were friends He sent me a text last night that said "I was a dick to you - I'm sorry," I haven't responded. I think he should sit on that one for a while while I keep my self busy with better? 1
Versacehottie Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Think like a guy: does that text require an answer. No. You need time to heal yourself from what you've been through. When you cross paths, I guess be decent but distant, brief. He shouldn't feel like he has the right to talk to you about how gorgeous and past sex you had. You should make every attempt to avoid him and get on with your life. The first step is not answering that text. It's hard, I know. Just tell yourself: not yet and then see how you feel about it later, like a few days from now. Usually feelings will go up/down/up/down. You will be glad if you don't act on it right away. Good luck 1
h0000 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 He will likely get back to you when things don't work out with the new girl. Hopefully you stay strong and say no to a dick like him. 1
Author seeingthisguy Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 Think like a guy: does that text require an answer. No. You need time to heal yourself from what you've been through. When you cross paths, I guess be decent but distant, brief. He shouldn't feel like he has the right to talk to you about how gorgeous and past sex you had. You should make every attempt to avoid him and get on with your life. The first step is not answering that text. It's hard, I know. Just tell yourself: not yet and then see how you feel about it later, like a few days from now. Usually feelings will go up/down/up/down. You will be glad if you don't act on it right away. Good luck Agreed - not responding. To be honest, I am in complete disbelief over this situation, which is why I can't seem to let it go. I keep thinking, "this can't be right, it doesn't feel right." Like my jaw is still on the floor from a few weeks ago when it dropped lol.
Author seeingthisguy Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 He will likely get back to you when things don't work out with the new girl. Hopefully you stay strong and say no to a dick like him. LOL - I'll dust off my armour, and brace myself for the whole "the grass isn't always greener" bit...
Versacehottie Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Agreed - not responding. To be honest, I am in complete disbelief over this situation, which is why I can't seem to let it go. I keep thinking, "this can't be right, it doesn't feel right." Like my jaw is still on the floor from a few weeks ago when it dropped lol. Yeah what he did sounds really hurtful. Hang in there. <3 1
Author seeingthisguy Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 LOL - I'll dust off my armour, and brace myself for the whole "the grass isn't always greener" bit... if he comes back saying "I didn't realize what I had with you until it was gone..." Any chance you think it would be sincere? I suppose it doesn't matter; I don't want to be with a man who needs to go elsewhere to realize that I'm enough. Thoughts?
h0000 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 if he comes back saying "I didn't realize what I had with you until it was gone..." Any chance you think it would be sincere? I suppose it doesn't matter; I don't want to be with a man who needs to go elsewhere to realize that I'm enough. Thoughts? You never know why he came back to you. Is it because he realised you are better? Or is it because she dumped him and you were just available? Well, even if he realised you are better in this case, what if he met someone else down the track that he thought might be good? Is he going to do this all over again? You don't know. Also, depends on how he broke up with you-if in a terrible way, then the problem is not even "grass is greener syndrome" anymore, it is his lack of integrity and decency as a human being. And you won't be happy with a dick.
Versacehottie Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 (edited) if he comes back saying "I didn't realize what I had with you until it was gone..." Any chance you think it would be sincere? I suppose it doesn't matter; I don't want to be with a man who needs to go elsewhere to realize that I'm enough. Thoughts? Hmmm he might and it could be sincere. But I'm saying this to help you. You can't think about that. It will prevent you from living your life and exploring things that can make you happy. There have been a couple of threads recently about similar theme of a guy coming back. Most of the time I say stay open to what the future could be. But if a guy leaves you for someone else, to me that's a no go. Not only does it speak volumes about his character etc, decision making and way he views you but I think it's probable that it would destroy you if you were together again. You will constantly be trying to get the "second best" feeling out of your life with him and out of your head. I think it's a recipe for disaster. But never say never, you will just have to live confidently and evaluate options as they arise, while creating new ones for yourself. If he does come back, just evaluate what he says, does and what he's offering and how at that time. I'm not saying accept it. I'm saying evaluate it. I'd be leaning toward no but 10 years from now when he's a different guy, maybe. If he's very young, it could be a maturity thing. Besides that type of thing, I probably wouldn't give him another chance. There's a good (country) song that I need to put the lyrics too for you: Every long lost dream led me to where you are Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars Pointing me on my way into your loving arms This much I know is true That God blessed the broken road That led me straight to you You need to start thinking like this. And release your attachment to this one (or whoever breaks your heart). If you believe you are the sum of your experiences, things will work out just fine including the fact that you two broke up. When you meet the guy you are supposed to be with, you will thank your lucky stars that it didn't work out with this one. I truly believe you learn more about yourself and that seemingly negative experiences will propel you where you need to go if you accept the information you are receiving, ie what can you learn about yourself and relationships that will help you next time. Honestly, not bitterly and fearfully. Edited October 16, 2015 by Versacehottie
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