She left me for another lover, I'm moving out, is NC a bad idea after the move?

[ClassiFemme]

My girlfriend broke up with me when she fell in love with someone else. When we're alone she acts like she still wants to be with me, but it seems that she's transfered the exact relationship we had over to the new chick. It's like she fears being alone with me because she still has feelings for me that frighten her. I know she really likes/loves her new girl but I think she's jumping from one relationship to another too quickly.

 

I'm moving out of our apartment on the 1st and she started crying when she found out. She claims she wishes she didn't lose my friendship and she still loves me, though not romantically. I find it hard to believe that after 5 years of being so in love she can just wake up one day and not be interested in me anymore? I know it's not me as a person because I feel that if she really didn't like me she wouldn't have waited to attach herself to another lover before abandoning what we had.

 

I believe that this new relationship is based on infatuation and I know my girl will come crawling back to me once the flame from the new hot romance dies out, but as much as I love her I am unwilling to even remain in contact w/her once I relocate because of how she handled this situation. I'm talking to her as a friend now while I still live here because I'm tired of the stress and drama, but once I move I'm changing my numbers, not telling her where I live, and staying as far away from her as possible, so that I can move on and enjoy the better life which is my destiny. She wants to be friends, but I don't think a true friend would do that to another. Am I being too harsh with the NC?

[BigB]

I don't think so.

 

Your still living together and she's bringing over the other girl?

 

You don't need friends that are going to treat you like that.

[ClassiFemme]

Thank you. That's how I feel but I know it seems harsh. I would rather go NC right now but I still love her and having to see her daily brings me back to square one each time. I was doing so well for a few days when I stayed with my friend. Then I saw her again when we were going to break the lease and she hugged me and began crying saying she "messed up her life when she messed up with me", and she loved me, etc... square one. I fell right back in love with her and once she sensed that she ran back over me. I can't do it. I won't.

[BigB]

Exactly, spending time with her is just going to make you hurt, at least right now. You need some time alone to heal. Every time you spend time with her it's like pulling the scab off of a wound, it hurts all over again.

 

Give it some time, do the NC, It'll hurt a first, but you'll feel better about the whole situation soon. Then you can make a decision about how you want to proceed.

 

This will also give her some time to miss you, and help push her to make a decision about weather or not she wants to be with you, and is willing to commit to your relationship.

 

If she does try to get you back it'll be your decision, not hers. If she tries to tell you she's changed and wants you back at some later time, make her prove it to you.

 

You also may decide you don't want her back, it's all up to you.

 

Your very strong for having handled this so well, living with your ex while she hooks up with a new girl must be very painful, I'd probably fly off the handle.

 

This started as a threesome right? from that other post? Were there problems in the relationship before the threesome?

 

Every time you feel like your being to harsh, just remind yourself how harsh she has been with you emotions by rubbing her new girl in your face in your own home.