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Is There Any Value in Online Dating for Guys?


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Posted

We all know online dating for women is pretty marvelous - you can create an account and be hit on endlessly by men way better looking than yourself.

 

 

Is there any value at all for men? I've thought about creating an account with professional pictures but I'm very apprehensive in doing it - all I hear is about how horrible online dating is for guys. How it's nearly impossible to get a response from anybody halfway decent looking.

 

 

I am college educated, very successful, classy, stylish, very fit, no kids, never been married. In online dating terms, this means I will get matched up with a chubby single mother who works as a waitress who at Denny's who has 9 kids. The female version of me is looking to date a movie star or a world famous movie star. Is that incorrect to believe?

Posted

Lmao at the part about women being hit on by guys out of their league. I do wonder why that is.

 

Though, I had a lot of success. I also have been told by some of the girls I dated off of a site that they get 200+ messages a day. I didn't believe it until they showed me.

 

Find a way to stand out. Professional pics probably aren't it. I used some of my past modeling ones before and 40% of people didn't respond, and some of the ones that did just called me a catfish. Plus, it's pretentious. Pretentious like me in my avatar pic over there. Just pick one that shows you're easy going.

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Posted
Lmao at the part about women being hit on by guys out of their league. I do wonder why that is.

 

Though, I had a lot of success. I also have been told by some of the girls I dated off of a site that they get 200+ messages a day. I didn't believe it until they showed me.

 

Find a way to stand out. Professional pics probably aren't it. I used some of my past modeling ones before and 40% of people didn't respond, and some of the ones that did just called me a catfish. Plus, it's pretentious. Pretentious like me in my avatar pic over there. Just pick one that shows you're easy going.

 

 

 

I look like crap in pictures. I need a professional to make me come across in pics the same way I look in real life

 

 

Anyways, you're a good looking dude, have you had luck getting dates with women in your league or are you also only getting messages with chubby single moms with 9 kids?

Posted (edited)

Quite literally, your mileage will depend on what you look like and to a lesser extent what you say.

 

I mean, if you are David Beckham then online dating is a great idea. For everyone else....not so much.

 

Personally, I think it does more harm (in many ways) than it will do good, for most guys and even then if you come out of the other side of the experience in one piece you may find the prize wasn't worth winning anyway.

Edited by insert_name
Posted
I look like crap in pictures. I need a professional to make me come across in pics the same way I look in real life

 

 

Anyways, you're a good looking dude, have you had luck getting dates with women in your league or are you also only getting messages with chubby single moms with 9 kids?

 

Well, with that sparkling attitude, I don't know what could go wrong.

 

Get the professional photos done; what exactly do you have to lose at this point?

 

Also, if you have the lucrative career you say you have, have you ever thought about hiring a professional matchmaker? Or a life coach? You're in the enviable position of hiring professional help if/when you need it. You don't actually have to struggle all on your own.

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Posted

Get the professional photos done; what exactly do you have to lose at this point?

 

my sanity

 

:laugh:

 

 

 

Also, if you have the lucrative career you say you have, have you ever thought about hiring a professional matchmaker?

 

 

yes, several times

 

 

The problem is that the professional matchmaker is mainly for people in their 30s and 40s from what I've researched. The average 25 year old woman makes 30K a year - she can't afford to pay someone to be a matchmaker.... not to mention she already gets hit on 500,000,000,000 times a day so there's no need to pay anybody.

Posted
Well, with that sparkling attitude, I don't know what could go wrong.

 

Get the professional photos done; what exactly do you have to lose at this point?

 

Also, if you have the lucrative career you say you have, have you ever thought about hiring a professional matchmaker? Or a life coach? You're in the enviable position of hiring professional help if/when you need it. You don't actually have to struggle all on your own.

 

Self esteem.

Posted
I look like crap in pictures. I need a professional to make me come across in pics the same way I look in real life

 

 

Anyways, you're a good looking dude, have you had luck getting dates with women in your league or are you also only getting messages with chubby single moms with 9 kids?

 

I'm sure you're better looking in pics than you give yourself credit for. But if you truly feel professional ones broadcast you best, then go for it. Just smile in them.

 

And thanks lol you must be a confident guy to admit that you think another one looks good. I always respect guys who are secure. That alone should secure you many women -- true confidence is obvious.

 

At the risk of sounding like a jackass, yes I had success with hot women. But I would recommend Match or Eharmony. Paid sites are way better. Women are higher quality, and they get spammed less. It's more serious women, so they're higher quality.

Posted

Since I'm currently dating someone, and this comes after finishing dating someone else, I'm not currently on OLD. But I met the previous woman from there and she was drop dead gorgeous, fun, nice, a wee bit crazy unfortunately, and she had to move to another state for work.

 

All in all I got plenty of responses, I didn't get one from every woman or even half that I reached out to (I'm divorced with a kid and I say that early in my profile and that certainly lowers my replies on top of how much you just don't get replies in general).

 

Several reached out to me, including that gorgeous previous girlfriend. So OLD works if you don't have a generic lame profile or say generic lame things.

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Posted

I think your attitude will hold you back more than online dating itself. Why not just try it and have some fun with it and be optimistic... Really no one is going to make you date a single mother with 9 kids ffs. Youre like a victim without Anything having happened to you. With your attitude, I'd say don't bother as it'll be a self fulfilling prophecy

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Posted
I'm sure you're better looking in pics than you give yourself credit for. But if you truly feel professional ones broadcast you best, then go for it. Just smile in them.

 

And thanks lol you must be a confident guy to admit that you think another one looks good. I always respect guys who are secure. That alone should secure you many women -- true confidence is obvious.

 

At the risk of sounding like a jackass, yes I had success with hot women. But I would recommend Match or Eharmony. Paid sites are way better. Women are higher quality, and they get spammed less. It's more serious women, so they're higher quality.

 

 

I look like complete dog sh*t in pics, that's the truth

 

Even in professional pics, I will not look as good as you - I look kind of Spanish or Middle Eastern so I obviously can't compete with you on white people standards. You have the pretty boy male model look that women go absolutely berserk for - I look more rugged/masculine/older looking. I'm also about 5'10 200 (football player build)

Posted
I look like complete dog sh*t in pics, that's the truth

 

Even in professional pics, I will not look as good as you - I look kind of Spanish or Middle Eastern so I obviously can't compete with you on white people standards. You have the pretty boy male model look that women go absolutely berserk for - I look more rugged/masculine/older looking. I'm also about 5'10 200 (football player build)

 

Eh I get called gay, a player, and all the women that do give me chances say they almost didn't because they thought I'd cheat and/or hurt them.

 

You're built man lol I need to gain muscle personally. You're probably better off than me because above average looks but not model ones are ideal to most women. Isn't intimidating, and allows them to see your personality which is the biggest attractive quality. I've seen so many beautiful girls with TERRIBLE looking guys.

Posted
The problem is that the professional matchmaker is mainly for people in their 30s and 40s from what I've researched. The average 25 year old woman makes 30K a year - she can't afford to pay someone to be a matchmaker.... not to mention she already gets hit on 500,000,000,000 times a day so there's no need to pay anybody.

 

It's hard to take you seriously when you're so prone to hyperbole; the attitude that the kind of woman you want is getting perpetually hit on is false.

 

I agree with kassy. Your attitude is atrocious, and you seem unwilling to try anything because you feel like you have all the answers already. This won't work, that won't work, because you're already convinced they won't work.

 

If you're so assured of forever singledom, then just stop trying. Funnel your energy into something else that's more productive. You're wasting our time and yours by shooting down every idea that comes your way.

Posted

I've had success on okcupid. I've gotten dates with girls who looks wise are on my level or lower. Never higher. You need to put a lot of time in and send a message to every person you're interested in. It really is a numbers game for guys.

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Posted
Eh I get called gay, a player, and all the women that do give me chances say they almost didn't because they thought I'd cheat and/or hurt them.

 

You're built man lol I need to gain muscle personally. You're probably better off than me because above average looks but not model ones are ideal to most women. Isn't intimidating, and allows them to see your personality which is the biggest attractive quality. I've seen so many beautiful girls with TERRIBLE looking guys.

 

 

 

muscle has never helped me at all - I am not necessarily shredded but I look great in street clothes

 

this is an older pic of me - I'm about 20 lbs more toned and defined than this

 

image.jpg

 

 

in the face in real life, I'm probably about a 7 to 7.5/10 - my fashion sense is impeccable as well. What you're saying though is nonsense, women go crazy for the male model pretty boy look. It's been proven over and over and over and over again.

Posted

I'm a woman who just joined online dating and yes we do get constant attention but what stand out to me is when a guy is doing something active in his pics or has a few pics with him and his friends.

 

I can't take serious the guys standing shirtless in front of the mirror at the gym or laying in bed trying to be cute and posing lol To me that is a little cheesy and I never write those guys back.

 

By the way I'm a 30 year old nice looking, classy, easy going, laid back, educated woman with graduate degree so we aren't all chubby waitresses haha :))

 

I went out with one guy so far and he said he was tempted to ask me to marry him on the spot because he was surprised how "normal" and "beautiful" I was for an online date.

 

Don't give up. Remember it only takes ONE good match to change your life!

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Posted
I'm a woman who just joined online dating and yes we do get constant attention but what stand out to me is when a guy looks like a male model.

 

 

fixed your post ;)

Posted
fixed your post ;)

 

hahahahaha

 

Honestly I don't respond to the "male models". I mean, if you look like that and are so great then why are you Online? bc I'm sure they have women flocking to them in real life. I know its a stereotype but I can't help but think they are Online so they can get laid more easily, feed their egos or have the grass is always greener syndrome (looking for a perfect 10). I don't see them wanting a serious relationship.

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Posted
hahahahaha

 

Honestly I don't respond to the "male models". I mean, if you look like that and are so great then why are you Online? bc I'm sure they have women flocking to them in real life. I know its a stereotype but I can't help but think they are Online so they can get laid more easily, feed their egos or have the grass is always greener syndrome (looking for a perfect 10). I don't see them wanting a serious relationship.

 

 

you're actually a woman saying this?

 

 

A female 7 has 538205823052805235203532850285025 more options than the most handsome and attractive man on the planet. Me and my sister are pretty similar in attractiveness levels and she had more dating options at 15 than I'll have in my entire life combined and multiplied by infinity.

 

 

Why are you online?

Posted
you're actually a woman saying this?

 

 

A female 7 has 538205823052805235203532850285025 more options than the most handsome and attractive man on the planet. Me and my sister are pretty similar in attractiveness levels and she had more dating options at 15 than I'll have in my entire life combined and multiplied by infinity.

 

 

Why are you online?

 

hahaha yea I get it.

 

I'm Online because I don't do bars and clubs anymore and guys will flirt - like while getting my car serviced or at the coffee shop but never end up asking me out (It could be because I'm always in a rush). I will not date a coworker because that could end badly and my hobbies are mostly "girly hobbies". Plus I live in a HUGE city so I decided to see if I could cross paths with someone I would probably not come across in "real life".

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Posted
hahaha yea I get it.

 

I'm Online because I don't do bars and clubs anymore and guys will flirt - like while getting my car serviced or at the coffee shop but never end up asking me out (It could be because I'm always in a rush). I will not date a coworker because that could end badly and my hobbies are mostly "girly hobbies". Plus I live in a HUGE city so I decided to see if I could cross paths with someone I would probably not come across in "real life".

 

 

...so the same reasons that a male model guy would do online dating :laugh:

  • Like 1
Posted

I guess I just assume if a guy looks like a male model and sees a girl he's interested in he would be confident enough to do it in real life and not sit back and passively wait for a girl to do all the work.

 

But you know what they say when you assume :)

Posted (edited)
hahahahaha

 

Honestly I don't respond to the "male models". I mean, if you look like that and are so great then why are you Online? bc I'm sure they have women flocking to them in real life. I know its a stereotype but I can't help but think they are Online so they can get laid more easily, feed their egos or have the grass is always greener syndrome (looking for a perfect 10). I don't see them wanting a serious relationship.

 

 

Nah. I was a model for an agency, did stuff for H&M and Rue 21, as well as more local places. Didn't and still don't have women flocking to me. The ones that do give me a chance, like I said, say that they almost didn't because I looked like a player and they thought I'd just cheat and hurt them. Or they say I intimidate women.

 

So I probably end up with less options than your everyday guy.

 

As for you adagio, you're in good shape. Better than me. I vote you check out Eharmony and Match. There are some high quality fish in those lakes.

Edited by Strength in Healing
  • Author
Posted
Nah. I was a model for an agency, did stuff with H&M and Rue 21. Didn't and still don't have women flocking to me. The ones that do give me a chance, like I said, say that they almost didn't because I looked like a player and they thought I'd just cheat and hurt them. Or they say I intimidate women.

 

So I probably end up with less options than your everyday guy.

 

As for you adagio, you're in good shape. Better than me. I vote you check out Eharmony and Match. There are some high quality fish in those lakes.

 

 

Better shape means nothing. Women go crazy for male model pretty boy looks. They would rather go with a male model pretty boy who makes 20K a year and lives at home with his parents than somebody like me who is an obsessive self improver.

 

 

here's a picture of my face BTW just so you know i'm not trolling - http://s22.postimg.org/4exoahe81/20150303_144132.jpg

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