Susmay Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Rather than thread jack another post. This (below) caught my eye in a post from SoleMate. Did any other women whose partner was having an affair experience these? I did and at the time had no idea what they were and why. They were not an identifiable STD/STI. It was only after D-day that I made the connection, and it wasn't until I saw SoleMate's post that it occurred to me that it might not be unusual for a woman whose partner is engaging in infidelity ... OP, look ahead to the ghost of your two possible futures. One where your dream of a solid and lasting marriage has become a gaslight nightmare in which you are trapped by lies and empty promises (not to mention inexplicable red bumps on your private parts and ... QUOTE]
ShatteredLady Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Before I met my H I had one long term relationship. We both had complete medicals. I had a new OBGYN who tested for everything & we were completely 'clean'. I had another medical OBGYN run of test when I'd been with my H for a short time because of painful, debilitating periods. Again I was clear of anything. I've very recently been diagnosed with cancer via biopsys. I've been HPV possitive for several years. I was doubting my H's promises that he hasn't had sexual intercourse with his OW. I recently discovered that he had unprotected sex with a friend of mine 1-2 years after we started dating. She was VERY promiscuous. She also had an abortion at that time that I supported her through. I had no idea she had had sex with my H. I will never know if it was his baby. Ugh! Sitting here knowing that HPV can & frequently lead to the kind of cancer I have ! My question is...Why? Why this day & age don't people use condoms when they're cheating? STDs, unwanted pregnancys. Why? I truly don't understand. The lies & betrayal are bad enough. I know that statistically I'll be ok but I have to endure incredibly painful surgeries & this mental nightmare that the word 'cancer' brings. AND the knowledge that my H blames my health for his last A!!! I read stories here about abortions, STD's. All the planning, lies, deception. The logistical plans to keep the secret. The constant thoughts that go into the affair but they can't pause long enough to use a condom!! Really!! WHY? 3
HereNorThere Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 It may sound far fetched, but you could be allergic to her vaginal fluids. Any time you are exposed to someone else's bodily fluids, your immune system can recognize that as in invader. Some men are allergic to their wife's vaginal fluid and some women are allergic are allergic to husbands sperm. If you know it isn't an std, shaving bumps, etc. the next thing to suspect it something immune related like allergies. Hell, she could have a cat you are allergic to for all you know.
HereNorThere Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I think most married people are just used to having sex without condoms, so it really doesn't enter the equation. Plus, people that have affairs already have a novelty and thrill seeking personality. They get a kick out of "getting one over on someone." Sure, they may cry in front of you, but you can be sure they're out bragging with their friends about how naive or foolish you are. Probably joking about how they conned you with their tears. Empathy and forethought are not a cheater strong point. P.S. - have you tried any allergy cream or spray like Benadryl? Could not hurt to try.
Author Susmay Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 ... P.S. - have you tried any allergy cream or spray like Benadryl? Could not hurt to try. Too late for me. This was during the A more than 10 years ago! I've never had it before or since.
autumnnight Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 If I suddenly saw any sort of bumps or rash "down there" and I was not shaving or using new soap or anything, I'd go get tested. You just never know. I think one reason a lot of cheaters/AP's don't use condoms is because to have a condom ready would mean it was "planned," and they want to think it "just happened." I would bet MOST affairs do NOT involve protection for that very reason. Sad
spanz1 Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 it could be almost anything. it is very common for yeast infections to spread to both partners, and that would give the man a red rash, especially under his foreskin. sometimes a rash on your privates is an indication that you have diabetes (because sugar is coming out of your urine, and feeding yeasts). but yes, it could be hpv or other nasty stuff.
Grapesofwrath Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 sounds like it was a while ago, so you may not remember all the details. Having said that, did it itch? Was it painful? It's possibly an allergy, or any number of other things depending on whether it itched, was accompanied by discharge, was painful, where it was located precisely, etc. (I work in the medical field, so those are the questions we ask, along with blood tests, etc.) Condoms are an important component to preventing STIs, but they are not always completely effective. It is VERY easy to transmit STIs skin-to-skin (hpv, hsv, etc.) even when wearing a condom. They are primarily effective in preventing the transmission of STIs that are in the semen (HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea). If they are transmitted by dermal contact, the condom helps, but doesn't completely protect you. STI aside, you may have been allergic to her body fluids, her pets, the laundry detergent she used to wash her towels, her soap, who knows what else. some people are very sensitive to that.
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