Goodbye Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Not withstanding the attitude by the OP towards women and moms. If you are unsuccessful at online dating I recommend fronting the monies and use It's Just Lunch or other matchmaking services. May fit the needs better but the cost is substantially higher. That is what I would do if I was dating. And get's rid of those pesky Welfare Moms to boot! Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 And get's rid of those pesky Welfare Moms to boot! Oh yes because they don't know what its like to do a days work do they...! Link to post Share on other sites
chapter44 Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 No, I wouldn't date someone like him, and he'd not date someone like me. That is fine. I make it clear at the onset that my kids are number one for now. I do not do online dating, but am familiar with the process. I would only want to date men who've raised kids, because I think they understand the priorities involved. As far as the "profession" thing...there are lots of vague make believe things I could put as my "profession." Just like men. Entrepreneur. I like that one. The reality is that I do not have "formal" employment right now. So "Mom" kind of defines how I spend the bulk of my time. I could put my former professional title down...doesn't really reflect who I am now. Should I put "Retired" instead? I don't feel retired. Meh...this is why I won't do online dating. A person is not defined by their job. I've dated women on varying degrees on the income and career spectrum and it's never been a priority for me. To me it's more about character and shared values. I wouldn't pass on dating an amazing woman because she labels herself a mother! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
OrangeParty Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Don't let one man put you off the rest of them Entrepreneur is one that makes me laugh. IT also makes me laugh because everyone is "in" IT these days it seems. I always imagine some sad nerd at his computer window shopping for a bay watch style broad and "spanking the monkey" over her pictures rather than actually speak to them. Having dated a few who put their profession down as IT, I have also found that they don't earn as much as they would like you to think... Sad really to feel that they have to hide it but it takes all sorts. So you get upset when OP bashes the noble profession of raising kids, and then you turn around and mock and stereotype an occupation that you don't know much about just because you dated "a few"? Classy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
impatiently_patient Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Here's an idea: Stay off single moms' profiles. How they live their lives is none of your business. And to be fair: Single women, stay off men's profiles that are looking for childless women. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 IT also makes me laugh because everyone is "in" IT these days it seems. I always imagine some sad nerd at his computer window shopping for a bay watch style broad and "spanking the monkey" over her pictures rather than actually speak to them. Having dated a few who put their profession down as IT, I have also found that they don't earn as much as they would like you to think... Sad really to feel that they have to hide it but it takes all sorts.IT encompasses everything from Technical Support (who can make as little as customer service call center staff) to CIOs (who can make millions). 2 Link to post Share on other sites
impatiently_patient Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Don't let one man put you off the rest of them Entrepreneur is one that makes me laugh. IT also makes me laugh because everyone is "in" IT these days it seems. I always imagine some sad nerd at his computer window shopping for a bay watch style broad and "spanking the monkey" over her pictures rather than actually speak to them. Having dated a few who put their profession down as IT, I have also found that they don't earn as much as they would like you to think... Sad really to feel that they have to hide it but it takes all sorts. You don't know jack about IT then. Everyone I know I'm the profession make solid money and are rather cool individuals. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 A person is not defined by their job. I've dated women on varying degrees on the income and career spectrum and it's never been a priority for me. To me it's more about character and shared values. I wouldn't pass on dating an amazing woman because she labels herself a mother! Its not really a label though is it. You either are or are not. Its not something you can change or retrain (though some should...!) for another occupation if you have kids. You just have to do the best you can. You are absolutely right though. Last guy I dated who worked in IT didn't know how to change the wheel on his car when he got a flat... Sorry chaps but that is not impressive in any way shape or form when your female date has to change it for you because you don't know how to use a wrench... The guy before that was also an engineer and could build a car from scratch, also steam engines. Impressive. As for my "bashing" IT... Congratulations - Shinning One gets it... One can't make assumptions. Funny isn't it that when someone points out that another "common" occupation description that can be misinterpreted, that all those who were bashing another for being a mother come out of their boxes simply because its them now on the receiving end... Well boys congratulations. You fell for it. And there is me, the "dummy", in "Construction". This was your lesson and how to treat people with little important things such as, DIGNITY, RESPECT, MANNERS. Try it sometime. It might get you somewhere. But no. In my experience not many who do put "IT" are swimming in it at all. I know many Plumbers, Electricians and Builders that earn more that your average "IT" worker. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 IMO being a mum can be a profession. I understand your assumption that the woman may be sitting around on welfare...that may be the case! But being a mum is DEFINATELY a job. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 (edited) I think that is part of what the OP is venting about. Child support and alimony mean that woman is just living off of someone else's work, and calls her profession MOM to justify it. I have a ton of respect for parents that do a good job of parenting their children. IMO, living off of the government, or child support/alimony is not setting a good example for your children. So women who's hubby left for a younger woman ...has 3 young kids at home ...hubby has a substantial income ...she was a stay at home mom ...and only sees her kids 1/2 time now ...she should have to go out and work 60 hours a week ...and barely see her kids?? Because hubby goes through midlife crisis? Hmmmm. Do you have kids at home? Have you talked with teachers and asked their opinions about which kids fair better in class /school work/ test scores ...the ones with SAHM or ones who are gone at work a lot? Have you asked the kids how they feel about both parents being substantially absent after this scenario? FYI ...being a parent is the hardest job I've ever had ...albeit it's not my only job. Just sayin ....I don't think anyone's trying to justify anything ...and as long as a woman has an income ...who's business is it from where it comes?? Edited October 20, 2015 by StBreton 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Someone's trying to stir the pot! I think it might be because someone's not doing enough "pot stirring" in real life Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Question is - would you want to date someone with an attitude like Stage5Clinger? Answer I can probably guess is no. A resounding no possibly with some bells and whistles on it! So let him pass up these women and give the guys who are ale to appreciate them a chance. So problem solved. He shouldn't date single mothers and you shouldn't date idiots who have no clue how much hard work goes into bringing up well rounded and happy children... So by putting Mum in the profession slot you are both avoiding each other... That is probably a good thing! Badda bing! Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 I think I've posted something like this before, but I guess it bears repeating. I'm an attorney for the General Counsel's office of a huge organization. I'm usually up to my ass in alligators, especially now when I'm between paralegals and have a crap load of stuff to do. I also have a bunch of kids, and my wife is a SAHM. On those occasions when I care for the kids for 2-3 days for whatever reason, I'm looking forward to getting back to the office. I just have to be a lawyer there, and not cook, housekeeper, teacher, medic, counselor, drill sergeant, scheduler/coordinator and doing those jobs with infinite patience and grace. SAHM is not only a profession, it is many professions, and some of the hardest work there is. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 No it isn't a profession but a gift that they wanted. A profession is a job and I would think most mothers would view their children as their joy not a job. Wishful viewing ...have you been with 2 kids puking with stomach flu 3-4 days and nights in a row? Yep it's a job ...professional janitors job sometimes mixed in with lots of hugs cuddles and telling them they're going to be ok ...all on almost zero sleep ...then a few days later ...mom has the stomach flu ... A lot of woman just give up working outside the home because it's just too much Kids in day care get sick a lot more and then you can't bring them into the day care till they're well again. The crazy part? Most parents who both work bring their kids into day care knowing full well their kids puked an hour ago!! Passing it on to others. They hope their kids can make it 4-5 hours so they can go into work ...and then leave early ...better than taking the entire day off so they don't get fired. The outcome? Kids just keep passing this on. My kids have had it 2 times in one month! Insanity. Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Good for you, but it's still not a profession. Your profession would be what you studied so long for. Welfare aside if you state your a professional "mother" that comes off as professional breeder (although obviously not the case). Just pointing out how that comes off and is interpreted by someone like me (no kids, younger, looking for a young professional). I beg to differ Clinger ...I studied long and hard how to be a great mom ...and that's exactly why I've got 2 great highly educated well-balanced kids ... I also have a few degrees btw. And these have helped me help my kids excel in their studies...and I was able to give them all my body of knowledge by staying home with them for several years ... I used to help out in the kid's classrooms. It was very apparent which kids had SAHMs as opposed to 2 working parents ...the kids who had SAHMs were top performers on learning the 400 most frequently used words ...top math performers and on the competitive math club etc etc. You do not have the same values as these SAHMs ...you see no value in parenting on this level. I quite frankly find it sad. Guess you'll be cracking the whip for the mother of your children to get back to work stat then eh? Just make sure you divulge this value when you meet someone you want to date. I cringe. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 You do not have the same values as these SAHMs ...you see no value in parenting on this level. I quite frankly find it sad. Guess you'll be cracking the whip for the mother of your children to get back to work stat then eh? Just make sure you divulge this value when you meet someone you want to date. I cringe. The irony of someone with the username "stage5clinger" criticizing women for wanting to cling to their kids Kids are appropriately attached and clingy at young ages. It's a natural desire to want to keep them close. If she can afford it, good for her! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 I have 2 jobs. One is a `professional parent`. (Business cards printed) The other is my escape.... No, love it. Hardest job in the world. No rewards for devotion. It`s just there. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Just pointing out how that comes off and is interpreted by someone like me Perhaps you should do some mirror gazing to evaluate exactly what the problem might be with the bolded..... Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 The irony of someone with the username "stage5clinger" criticizing women for wanting to cling to their kids Kids are appropriately attached and clingy at young ages. It's a natural desire to want to keep them close. If she can afford it, good for her! Good catch xxoo. Another irony is if he's in fact a "clinger" it could be because he didn't have his cup/heart filled with a stay at home mom who was devoted to him. And now he rails against it. That's what I meant by my kiddos being "well balanced" ...they are so happy going out into the world because I gave them my all for several years ...oh the times we had ...they are not clingy because they have had a solid loving base ... ...they have girls chasing them left and right ... And the girls know they were well raised ...girls know these things ...they don't like the "clingers" 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Stbreton, I'm sure you have done a great job at being a positive influence to your children. Its a comfort to read. the assumption that Single parents falter in their childrens lives I take to heart. I never once considered my parenting a "job" or even a "career". It is a role I willingly incorporated in the family dynamics. Is being a cousin or a sister a career??? Nope! Sorry that your perception that Single parents are shortchanging their kids in academics and having a two parent household. Never much cared for the alimony or child support... And yes it does matter where the money comes from. My eldest son graduated summa cum laude with his masters. That came at a cost, the cost of HIS hard work, His passion to succeed. I take zero credit for his achievement, he did it solely thru aligning himself with a great group of friends and a good set of ethical standards to abide by. No amount of child support or alimony created that. I worked two jobs, missing some moments yet primarily there for the milestones... his first prom, learning to drive, and a few hospital visits after sports injuries. Both my sons turned out mighty fine. It was never a job or career; for compassion or support to be delved out. It came naturally.. as sure as breathing.. ya just do . 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Single2007 Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Spending too much time on POF lately and noticed a trend. I'm here to tell you that being a mother is not a profession. Putting that as your profession tells me, whether true or not, that you're living off of welfare. Just wanted to let it be known. I have no interest in these profiles. Oh it's a profession. I wouldn't say that to a mother's face, Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Sorry chaps but that is not impressive in any way shape or form when your female date has to change it for you because you don't know how to use a wrench... Sorry ladies, but it is not impressive in any way shape or form when your male date has to cook the rice for you because you don't know how to cook rice in a pot after your rice cooker broke. Toodaloo, I'm sure there are some traditionally female tasks that you are not good at. Would you want to be judged negatively for not possessing that specific skill? Should I have been unimpressed and turned off by my date's inability to cook rice? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ManyDissapoint Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Anyone who says parenting is the hardest job in the world needs to go work in a coal mine for a couple days. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 John Major (a former PM in UK politics) once famously stated that if 'stay-at-home' mothers were to be paid an actual living wage for the work they do, the country's coffers would be emptied overnight, and the place would be bankrupt. I'm not talking about income support, welfare payments or tax credits. I'm talking about a living wage... That said, this: No it isn't a profession but a gift that they wanted. A profession is a job and I would think most mothers would view their children as their joy not a job. My children were a joy. I'd never do it again though. I gave up too much of my own life, time and enjoyment and sacrificed more than I would have liked, to be a SAHM. I would definitely have done things a lot more differently. And before anyone calls me a terrible person, not only do my daughters know this, they share the opinion. My eldest has one child - and would never have another. My youngest definitely does NOT want any children at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 John Major (a former PM in UK politics) once famously stated that if 'stay-at-home' mothers were to be paid an actual living wage for the work they do, the country's coffers would be emptied overnight, and the place would be bankrupt. I'm not talking about income support, welfare payments or tax credits. I'm talking about a living wage... That said, this: My children were a joy. I'd never do it again though. I gave up too much of my own life, time and enjoyment and sacrificed more than I would have liked, to be a SAHM. I would definitely have done things a lot more differently. And before anyone calls me a terrible person, not only do my daughters know this, they share the opinion. My eldest has one child - and would never have another. My youngest definitely does NOT want any children at all. It`s a very individual experience. I`d do it over and over again. Obviously a bit off topic.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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