Guyouthere Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Age old question….. Where are the better women out there, a good place to meet one??? I look for a clean one, loyal, non smoker, occasional or non drinker, honest,,,,, (the better quality).
central Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 They are everywhere, but I found almost all the ones I dated, online. 2
cinnamonapples86 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Well the better question is....Are you a better class of a man yourself? Women like that tend to want men who are also very put together themselves. When you are already that thing, you tend to attract members of the opposite sex who are also similar. 9
oberkeat Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 I certainly wasn't finding them online. All the women I met through online dating all had major baggage of some sort. It's a major reason I stopped online dating. I didn't like the people I was meeting. 1
oldshirt Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 you have to be in the league you want to play in. - Oldshirt 9
oberkeat Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Well the better question is....Are you a better class of a man yourself? Women like that tend to want men who are also very put together themselves. When you are already that thing, you tend to attract members of the opposite sex who are also similar. Not always. I consider myself a catch, but was still attracting low quality women online. I call it rotten luck.
RoseWater Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Not always. I consider myself a catch, but was still attracting low quality women online. I call it rotten luck. Yeah, but do women consider you a catch hun? Send me a selection of your pics and your bio 4
Jersey born raised Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 First you need to take up rose's offer if she means it, You need to develop good filters to evaluate people in your life, Finally look to vol organizations that increase your odds, but just because a person spends time feeding the homeless does not mean they are nota cheat.
40 Fonzarelli Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Church, coffee shops, bookstores. Stay away from bars/clubs. 2
BlueIris Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Yeah, but do women consider you a catch hun? Send me a selection of your pics and your bio That's right. If a guy wants to attract women with certain traits he has to have the traits that that type of woman wants- NOT what HE THINKS she should want (thinking that way is an auto-reject, bad trait), but what those women want or tend to want. 1
StBreton Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Tennis clubs, church, hiking clubs, coffee shops on a Saturday morning, concerts, festivals I've tried online dating and think Match has higher quality people than the free site I tried. I just started dating again and met a great high quality guy last night ...from a free site. I've gotten very selective with you'll I'll even meet for coffee. So with your criteria being so minimal ...maybe consider adding to that so you aren't disappointed. Also ...what do you have to offer as a mate?
Author Guyouthere Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 Well the better question is....Are you a better class of a man yourself? Women like that tend to want men who are also very put together themselves. When you are already that thing, you tend to attract members of the opposite sex who are also similar. Well, yes. I am. I don't boast, and I k ow I am not perfect myself, and know what my flaws are. I was married for over 15 years,,,, just had a wife who wasn't right for me. Overall I know how to treat a lady right, my parents were married a LONG time before dad died. I take after their morals and outlook, so yes, I can (and eventually will) be able to provide that in a serious relationship. My details are that I just haven't been "in circulation" given my marriage, alone phase to heal", and also this previous mess I was involved with. I am just now starting to get out "there", and "in the world", so fresh on the market is really accurate. And this is why I asked the question, because basically it is all new to me. I live in an area where I see a lot of drinking, etc., and I have no family here either (other than my mom who I take care of). I am not bad looking, taller than most guys, and work out at the gym (just started recently) and also bike ride each night (usually 15-20 miles). I know it is "only a matter of time".
Author Guyouthere Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 Tennis clubs, church, hiking clubs, coffee shops on a Saturday morning, concerts, festivals I've tried online dating and think Match has higher quality people than the free site I tried. I just started dating again and met a great high quality guy last night ...from a free site. I've gotten very selective with you'll I'll even meet for coffee. So with your criteria being so minimal ...maybe consider adding to that so you aren't disappointed. Also ...what do you have to offer as a mate? I have more qualifications I look for… just dint post them all. High on my list are mental and emotional stability (because of my last experience with someone who wasn't). As for what I have to offer, see my other response (above).
Author Guyouthere Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 you have to be in the league you want to play in. - Oldshirt Woman with a cig = automatic turnoff for me. I also prefer the "average" looking women too, because it has been my experience that the ones who like to "act like they are hot" are too conceited for me, and often live in their own world. Not to say all of the "hot ones" out there are like that, but it has been my observation just by listening to them speak.
StBreton Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 I have more qualifications I look for… just dint post them all. High on my list are mental and emotional stability (because of my last experience with someone who wasn't). As for what I have to offer, see my other response (above). I'll have to ck out your other threads but I've been lurking for a while so slightly remember your situation. What is your age bracket and that of which you seek? Do you live in a large metropolis?
Author Guyouthere Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 (edited) I'll have to ck out your other threads but I've been lurking for a while so slightly remember your situation. What is your age bracket and that of which you seek? Do you live in a large metropolis? Well, ignore my humor on here too (I really don't put women in cages or use them for shark chum). lol Seriously…. well, I am 49 and my age doesn't reflect my lack of physical abilities whatsoever, as I am very fit and very active. My last "relationship" was with the 24 year old. BUT, keep in mind too exactly what attracted me to her….. That girl had effectively worked me into thinking she was "at my level" in a lot of ways, and I fell for it. Overall I prefer any lady who can and will keep up with me in a lot of ways (including the ability to have decent and in depth conversations about many a topics). Age isn't a big factor with me. How the woman is, is what matters most. No, I don't live in a big city, but it isn't a small town either. I work in a major store with a lot of customers coming in, but as said, I have been "out of the circuit" too, so really haven't "taken advantage" of that possible avenue of meeting someone who comes in. My life currently consists mostly of working the job, taking care of my 90 year old mom as needed, cycling each night (and/or day), scuba diving (I am a treasure hunter her win Florida), and overall take care of the house and occasionally see married friends. I have a boat too and do a lot of offshore fishing in the summer (again, small boat, so alone with that, also because of the type of things I do out there with it). Overall I am a very outdoors person. I looked into meet up groups around me as well, but many are geared too towards the bar scene (which I am not fond of, not my atmosphere). Many of the activities I can't make either because of my work, etc. Diving I do is solo based on the nature of the specifics of it, so I don't include anyone based on the secrecy of it (for obvious reasons), not that I meet anyone out on the reefs anyway. Edited October 15, 2015 by Guyouthere
StBreton Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Ok so we're in the same age bracket and I'm going out on a limb here by saying I'm of the "classy" variety ...not being conceited just saying I can speak from experience as I'm looking for a more classy guy as that's what I'm used to. So several guys that I went out with had an experience with a much younger woman ...90% didn't work out and your experience isn't unusual ...but I hope you take it as just a learning experience and you got your rebound out of the way as I did last year ...glad that's over with. Now for finding a classy gal ... How about a yacht club? They usually have events and even if you don't meet a partner there ...you may make a friend who has a friend. I think joining a biking group is great or starting your own on meetup. I can't PM you now as I'm a new member but when I can I will. I spend a lot of time in Florida and can offer some other advice. 1
oberkeat Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 (edited) Yeah, but do women consider you a catch hun? Send me a selection of your pics and your bio Why is the conventional wisdom that if a guy can't get into a relationship it's because there's something wrong with him? I'm educated (finishing a masters degree), slim, well-dressed, never been married, no kids, do yoga 4 times a week, run at the gym, don't smoke, drug-free, not overweight, can carry on a conversation about books films, politics and art. What woman wouldn't want those qualities? But I haven't been in a relationship in 5 years. Some of us guys just have bad luck. Simple as that. Also, a good woman who has all the traits OP describes and is also single is hard to come by. Most of them get snatched up by other guys pretty quickly. Edited October 15, 2015 by oberkeat 2
Gaeta Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Guyouthere: hon, you want a classy lady that has her act together but you have to be in a place in your life where you can offer the same. You say yourself you're just coming to terms with being single and we've all witnessed your struggle with the latest 24 yo. Would you classify yourself as a classy man? One that has his act together? One that has made peace with his past and is not affected by it any longer? Do you know exactly who you are and what you want? and are you ready to cut off from your life any woman that is not worthy of your attention? Do you have enough confidence to not accept any type of BS from women? Are you happy on your own as a single man? Would you recognize a classy lady if you met one? You were ready to give the moon to the 24yo when she couldn't give you the time of the day. 1
Gaeta Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Also, a good woman who has all the traits OP describes and is also single is hard to come by. Most of them get snatched up by other guys pretty quickly. Nah, I have a long Resume. I am a successful, smart, fun, pretty, sexy, act with integrity, and I have been single for 11 years. 1
GunslingerRoland Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 I guess it depends on what your definition of having baggage is. If your expectation is that you are going to find a quality woman who has never been married, or had kids, or been in a serious relationship and is in your age group, you are probably going to be disappointed. That being said, the rest of your expectations sound pretty reasonable. But I know bigger cities tend to be better, as the smaller town you get the less likely you are to find people who aren't into drugs, drinking and smoking, not to mention the more baggage you are likely to uncover as all their exes will live within a few blocks of you. 1
Author Guyouthere Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 Ok so we're in the same age bracket and I'm going out on a limb here by saying I'm of the "classy" variety ...not being conceited just saying I can speak from experience as I'm looking for a more classy guy as that's what I'm used to. So several guys that I went out with had an experience with a much younger woman ...90% didn't work out and your experience isn't unusual ...but I hope you take it as just a learning experience and you got your rebound out of the way as I did last year ...glad that's over with. Now for finding a classy gal ... How about a yacht club? They usually have events and even if you don't meet a partner there ...you may make a friend who has a friend. I think joining a biking group is great or starting your own on meetup. I can't PM you now as I'm a new member but when I can I will. I spend a lot of time in Florida and can offer some other advice. I have come to the conclusion that maturity is what matters the most. I say this because in reality, it encompasses many of the other said qualities (maturity is the net which binds them together). My last "relationship" was a learning experience…. and at the least, I have changed that woman's life for the best, so in reality, I know something good came of it (who knows what good things she can do in her life). I feel good about that, and I wish the best for her. That wasn't a rebound for me, I have been divorced for a long time now (over a year, but haven't been with her for over 2). Quite honestly, I am very stable and know what I want and what I can and will give. Relationships are a two way give and take, and both are responsible for making it work. Having parents married for over 50 years, I learned from them (dad died in 2005). Do you go yachting? We have a lot of boating in this area…. my 13 foot Boston Whaler doesn't quite qualify being a yacht though. hehe But, I will and do pull 6 foot sharks in it at times. I am always up for new and decent friends…. so looking forward to getting your PMs when you can.
thecrucible Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Why is the conventional wisdom that if a guy can't get into a relationship it's because there's something wrong with him? I'm educated (finishing a masters degree), slim, well-dressed, never been married, no kids, do yoga 4 times a week, run at the gym, don't smoke, drug-free, not overweight, can carry on a conversation about books films, politics and art. What woman wouldn't want those qualities? But I haven't been in a relationship in 5 years. Some of us guys just have bad luck. Simple as that. Also, a good woman who has all the traits OP describes and is also single is hard to come by. Most of them get snatched up by other guys pretty quickly. You sound like a great catch I've had some poor luck lately but all I can do is put my best foot out there. Also to be honest, I think I'm one of the types that has potential to be a wonderful partner but marketing myself is probably not my strong point. I'm not a wallflower but I'm not the type to talk myself up and being modest, you blend into the background more. Now I have nothing against the more vivacious type - I could learn a lot from them... I would like to date a man like you. However the very men I'm attracted to, I'm intimidated by. It's as if I don't feel good enough even though I am educated myself and reasonably well-presented. I just think to myself "Why would this guy ever be interested in me?". So guys have liked me in the past and I've been 100% oblivious to it.
Krieger Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 I guess it depends on what your definition of having baggage is. If your expectation is that you are going to find a quality woman who has never been married, or had kids, or been in a serious relationship and is in your age group, you are probably going to be disappointed. That being said, the rest of your expectations sound pretty reasonable. But I know bigger cities tend to be better, as the smaller town you get the less likely you are to find people who aren't into drugs, drinking and smoking, not to mention the more baggage you are likely to uncover as all their exes will live within a few blocks of you. If a woman hates her father and or has daddy issues it a red flag . I am 32 and will not date a woman with kids because the relationship will never be equal . BTW I want to be a dad but if i date a woman with kids and we get married and have kids of are own I will love my kids more then her kid if that makes sense.
thecrucible Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 If a woman hates her father and or has daddy issues it a red flag . But then no one can choose their parents? I guess the main red flag would be the fact that it is as much an issue that it needs to be brought up to the surface and talked about. If people treat things as not really a big deal, they probably aren't.
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