Stage5Clinger Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 (edited) You need to realize that everyone is very different. The more you group people together the less you'll be aware of the reality of the situation. A guy who is introverted can be interpreted as shy because he's not blabbing about. I personally am very introverted and get accused of being shy while most of the time I just can't put a word into the conversation because the other party never stops talking long enough. I realize there are legit shy guys but my point here is that there is a spectrum of all mental health/social traits and bunching people together based on a few interactions is harmful. Edited October 18, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
kilgore Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 As already mentioned, there is a difference between being shy and being introverted. Shy often comes off as lacking confidence. Being introverted feels more promising since most who are can be very engaging albeit more comfortable one on one than in large groups. Which are you? As an introvert I totally agree 1
Els Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 It really depends on your definition of 'shy'. If by 'shy' you mean someone who's completely socially clueless, will not initiate on ANYthing even after knowing you for months - yeah, no thanks. If by 'shy' you mean someone who just takes a bit of time to warm up to you as opposed to an extremely outgoing guy who asks women out after talking to them for 5 minutes... sign me up. I agree that introversion is different from shy, but the two traits often (not always, but often) overlap. I'm neutral on shy, but introversion is a big plus. An extremely extroverted guy wouldn't be compatible with me. 1
WomenWubber Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 I used to be kind of shy when I was a kid. I used to say someday I will get a shy girl just like me! Funny thing years later I met this stuck up bish at work. Sure she cute and all that, but there was kind of a superiority aura about her that just made me so angry for some reason. One day I got stuck doing overtime with her and another female coworker. Turns out she was an uber sweet girl, when you got to actually talk to her. I didn't mind a bit that she had a bit of a stuttering problem, but apparently a lot of people did and well she did too. This is just an example of a shy guy and a shy girl, shying away of each other. Sucks for the shy ones, huh.
MrReborn Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 Being shy and being a pushover are two different things. I've seen some people that came off as shy that actually turn out to be very strong willed individuals that can actually lead. If I'm not mistaken, leading is something that's a definite display of confidence. Now, if you're a pushover that can't even do things on his own, then you need to work on building your interaction with other people before you get into the dating scene. In fact, most shy men don't realize that they can use their "shyness" to their advantage by letting the woman do most of the talking until their comfortable with that person enough to open up. In fact, that builds the whole "mystery" factor up. 1
lino Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 Shyness is a trait that is generally not accepted for men. If you're a shy guy, get ready for many nights alone 1
kilgore Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 Shyness is a trait that is generally not accepted for men. If you're a shy guy, get ready for many nights alone I never found that to be the case 1
Guyouthere Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 Some guys can be shy at first. I was like that, still can be,,, although can and do know how to make good conversation, and also make a woman smile (I did it today). Shyness I believe represents some insecurity. I learned to outgrow much of it. My attitude is….. "I know what I am worth.,, now you decide if you want me or some trash out there". lol I won't settle for less. Shyness doesn't get you anywhere either. I wil say that a lot depends on how I see the woman reacting too…. it does have an effect on how much I want to continue.
lino Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 I never found that to be the case There are exceptions in all things in life but generally shy men are much less in demand. I was shy as a child and teen but once I grew out of that I instantly noticed the difference in how people treat you.
StBreton Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 (edited) No. Well not really. eHarmony has this whole "process" where you get matched with supposed like-minded prospects. If you're interested in any of them you can start the process by asking for permission to communicate online. Then you send each other a variety of stock questions which you then respond to and back and forth etc., eventually moving to personal email and so on. He shot me the first "Wanna get to know each other?" alert after we were matched. Now that I think about it, I don't think we ever talked on the phone or texted! All of our communications leading up to our first date was through email. He was extremely outgoing and charming and funny in his email communications and we struck up a wicked banter that felt very promising. I couldn't wait to meet him. When we finally went on our date, I realized very quickly that he wasn't nearly as skilled of a communicator in real life as he was in his emails but I gave him the benefit of the doubt...six times So did you give him a few more chances to overcome his shyness? He was likely spell bound and nervous by your beauty Edited October 21, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I never found that to be the case How so? Women generally do not approach men
seekingluck Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 It depends. Are you a shy extrovert? A shy introvert? How long does it take you to warm up? I realize, the older I get, the more I appreciate someone who is more like me in terms of not being shy. And hopefully in a slightly similar level of extroversion, or close. Mostly because for me it feels quite fun to be in a "dynamic" couple. It is not like I can't handle shy people, I've dated some, but I end up liking having another social butterfly around. One of my close friends is a shy extrovert. Shyness and socials are not related. She doesn't like new people. But she likes to be around people she knows. It takes her time to warm up, and she doesn't love meeting too many new people at once in an uncomfortable situation.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 It depends. Are you a shy extrovert? A shy introvert? How long does it take you to warm up? I realize, the older I get, the more I appreciate someone who is more like me in terms of not being shy. And hopefully in a slightly similar level of extroversion, or close. Mostly because for me it feels quite fun to be in a "dynamic" couple. It is not like I can't handle shy people, I've dated some, but I end up liking having another social butterfly around. One of my close friends is a shy extrovert. Shyness and socials are not related. She doesn't like new people. But she likes to be around people she knows. It takes her time to warm up, and she doesn't love meeting too many new people at once in an uncomfortable situation. Well obviously different since she is a woman, she doesn't have to approach
Revolver Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Coming from a shy person I can say that The problem with shy men is they cannot offer women excitement and interesting experiences. It is very difficult to compete with ambitious people who are constantly seeking new people, places, and experiences. Thrill seekers so to speak. It's like this. A shy guy is not going to have a lot to say and is going to refrain from wanting to try many new things. Therefore, a shy guy is not going to have a lot of friends, because people want to hang out with the most exciting people. Without a strong social circle, or a strong 1 on 1 charisma, a shy guy will not be able to attract women unless he is very attractive.
empresario Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I can tell you from a past life of mine...women hate shy men. Confidence is everything. In all fairness, confidence in a woman is sexy as well.
SwordofFlame Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I can tell you from a past life of mine...women hate shy men. Confidence is everything. In all fairness, confidence in a woman is sexy as well. I agree. I don't think I could date a shy woman. Introverted women are fine though. I guess shy women have it worse too but perhaps not to the extent of shy men.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I agree. I don't think I could date a shy woman. Introverted women are fine though. I guess shy women have it worse too but perhaps not to the extent of shy men. Very obvious, very astute
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