siriusp Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Just curious - from a mans perspective - what is the worst thing you have said or done to string a woman along? (when you were not interested at all)... And from women.... What is the worst thing a mad did to string you along?
Lovelorn00 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Just curious - from a mans perspective - what is the worst thing you have said or done to string a woman along? (when you were not interested at all)... And from women.... What is the worst thing a mad did to string you along? Future-talk with constant text communication. I met a dude a few years ago who did this to me every day for a couple of months. He'd initiate texting every morning with a "hello, gorgeous!" and talk about fun things we would do together. We never had a second date. 1
Vintage79 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Make sure her self esteem is crippled on date 1, make her feel special on date 1, sex on date 2 - you now have a FWB who thinks she's in a relationship... 1
craw Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 This guy and I met through friends at the club and we started seeing each other, within the first week, he said I was his gf and he wanted to introduce me to his family. I said we need to slow down. He then realised I wasn't from a Latin American country, he dumped me on the second week of us dating... He claimed he wasn't ready for a relationship. ________________ I started seeing a guy? I was dumb, we would fool around and then he taunted me, " ha ha you wish you were dating me". Never spoke to him again after that. ____________ Another guy lead me on, but the sweet thing about him is that he messaged me and apologized for leading me on, because another girl did the same thing to him. Aww. If people communicated better, we would be much happier. That's all I can think of, I've blocked out most of the other memories. I had a friends with benefits tell me. He could never see himself falling in love with me. He was such a troll. Great sex, but man I wasted time with him. Oh I remember! I met this super hot guy, we went out on a few beautiful dates and then I asked him what was going on between us, he said it wasn't a good time to talk about this. So I've always been scared to ask a status of a relationship. There's a way to do it, but I'm usually crass. I don't think that changes over time. We talk about feminism yet it seems like women are always in lieu of wtf is going on and deemed psycho if we ask.
Strahatmak Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Future talk. The biggest red flag in the early stage. Nothing wrong to talk about the expectation in general or to look for a marriage, but something like, "you are the one", "you're the perfect woman I want to be with", "I want to have this and that and how many kids and [all the specific details] with you" sound kinda like being "set up". 1
LostOnes05 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 I agree with Strahatmak. I had a girl do this to me recently. I was cool with it as I kept my emotions in check at the beginning. She'd say I gave her butterflies, she loved me, and I made her want to have children, blah,blah,blah. We talked about whether each of us was ready for a serious relationship, to which we both said yes. Then she started saying we weren't friends and that just because she said those things didn't mean we should be in a relationship...weird logic huh!?! And well, let's just say it didn't end with hugs and kisses. I've never done it because I think it is hurtful to string someone along with ill intent or no intentions to pursue a relationship with them. Why waste the time?
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 I think most of all it's when guys get super intense on day one, straight away they're wanting to talk about the future, marriage, kids, I'm wise to that kind of thing so I would run a mile but for a lot of people, if they've been single for a while worried they won't meet anyone else, and they meet someone new who talks about all of this stuff it can be very very seductive and easy to fall for. I don't necessarily think I've ever felt strung along, I mean it can be going great but either of you are within your rights at either part to decide you're not really into it anymore, that's the whole thing with dating, it's not marriage. You can walk away at any time. Although if you've been in a great new relationship for a few months and then someone walks away at the time it's tempting to be like 'arrgh you led me on! You messed me around!' but really, the person didn't. They probably believed what they were saying at the time too.
Zippy2000 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Just curious - from a mans perspective - what is the worst thing you have said or done to string a woman along? (when you were not interested at all)... And from women.... What is the worst thing a mad did to string you along? To answer your question speaking from a man`s point of view. I have never strung someone along. If Im not attracted to you. Im just not going to even go there and its harder to break off with someone when they have been strung along for so long, I have dated a girl I felt I was strung along. I always asked to meet but she used to say "I ll check my shifts and let you know". She never did but I had to ask again until I finally got a date with her. So hard work and feel like strung along. Whats the point of stringing someone along?
smackie9 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 When their actions don't match their words. Like "I'll call ya when I get in." they don't. fail 1
Ami1uwant Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Future talk. The biggest red flag in the early stage. Nothing wrong to talk about the expectation in general or to look for a marriage, but something like, "you are the one", "you're the perfect woman I want to be with", "I want to have this and that and how many kids and [all the specific details] with you" sound kinda like being "set up". It depends.... Some of these questions about a future together are valid and necessary. Saying things constantly early on can be.
Lovelorn00 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 It depends.... Some of these questions about a future together are valid and necessary. Saying things constantly early on can be. Very true. It's important to be on the same page early on when it comes to relationships, but I'm talking about things like future dates, etc. Something as simple as talking about going to a movie together, when they have absolutely no intention of ever taking you. Ugh. That's the worst.
empresario Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 I'm not sure if this counts...but I've heard and seen some stories of women getting emotionally manipulated by men to the point the man can just stop by once a week, get off, then disappear. Some women seem to be susceptible to the high/low roller coaster. They tolerate it because the high of being around that person becomes a quasi-addiction compared to the lows they feel otherwise. Some women, especially mistresses, get strung along that way for years, sometimes even a lifetime.
thecrucible Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 When a man (but I'm not isolating this to the male gender) says something he doesn't mean. If the guy isn't sure about me fair enough. But I remember I dated a guy and he said he loved me far too soon as far as I recall. This made me suspicious and I asked him why. He got caught out and he said "...because it's what women want to hear". It just really bugs me when people don't have integrity. I like people to say what they mean (I'm not saying I'm 100% perfect btw). Another thing was with an ex while we were dating and he said we could hang out one weekend and it was the first in a while and then he turned round and told me he couldn't actually be bothered and he'd changed his mind. None of those are big things but it's just the feeling of having your hopes built up and then suddenly brought back down again. To make this fair and balanced, I did a really crappy thing to a guy a year and a half ago. I was just out of a break-up and wasn't really thinking straight. I went on a couple of dates with a guy and then we hooked up on the third date. I was wanting to take it slow and see how it went and we had a lovely date. But after we had sex, it all changed for me. It just didn't feel right. I realised that actually we were incompatible as he had a lot of ex drama. I was also perturbed by him saying "I love you" in the middle of sex. Anyway, I couldn't bear it so I just had to sheepishly say "I know what it looks like. I wasn't trying to use you but I've realised that we're not really a match". He pleaded with me but ah just didn't feel right . After continual apologies on my part, we seem to have reached the point of saying hello to each other in the street and the odd pleasantries. 1
Zippy2000 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 When a man (but I'm not isolating this to the male gender) says something he doesn't mean. If the guy isn't sure about me fair enough. But I remember I dated a guy and he said he loved me far too soon as far as I recall. This made me suspicious and I asked him why. He got caught out and he said "...because it's what women want to hear". It just really bugs me when people don't have integrity. I like people to say what they mean (I'm not saying I'm 100% perfect btw). Another thing was with an ex while we were dating and he said we could hang out one weekend and it was the first in a while and then he turned round and told me he couldn't actually be bothered and he'd changed his mind. None of those are big things but it's just the feeling of having your hopes built up and then suddenly brought back down again. To make this fair and balanced, I did a really crappy thing to a guy a year and a half ago. I was just out of a break-up and wasn't really thinking straight. I went on a couple of dates with a guy and then we hooked up on the third date. I was wanting to take it slow and see how it went and we had a lovely date. But after we had sex, it all changed for me. It just didn't feel right. I realised that actually we were incompatible as he had a lot of ex drama. I was also perturbed by him saying "I love you" in the middle of sex. Anyway, I couldn't bear it so I just had to sheepishly say "I know what it looks like. I wasn't trying to use you but I've realised that we're not really a match". He pleaded with me but ah just didn't feel right . After continual apologies on my part, we seem to have reached the point of saying hello to each other in the street and the odd pleasantries. Sounds familiar! You in Kilmarnock? LOL
Strahatmak Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 It depends.... Some of these questions about a future together are valid and necessary. Saying things constantly early on can be. I will talk about expectations, of course. I will definitely tell him that I want a serious relationship and *hope that* it will work out by how many months later. I will also tell him upfront my values - some people basically do not read my profile before initiating a conversation; a guy did that and after a few conversations he asked something written on my profile; then he told me that didn't work out for him.... bummer. BUT, if a guy tells me that I am his wife with a few months in for dating, he wants to have kids WITH ME (not that he wants to have children in general)... red flag. I've been through this.
shet Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I've questioned this myself as a man. Very often I feel I'm stringing someone along, because I'm continuing to date them while I'm not certain I really want to be... maybe even sure I don't want to. But I don't **** them, nor expect them to see only me, so surely we are just having nice evenings together?
Mrin Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Hmmm i guess taking a really sober look at my past dating behavior I think I would have to say on two occasions I've dated women over a number of months that I knew I really didn't fancy. They were just fun and we were having fun together. Nothing wrong with that. Except... That I knew they were falling for me and I wasn't falling for them. But I kept dating them knowing full well I wasn't going to match their feelings. Ya. Not proud.
Recommended Posts