oberkeat Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 This might not be the best attitude to have toward other human beings. As much as I hate the phrase, it is what it is. Like I said, I did OLD for two years (on and off). It was a cesspool. During all that time, I didn't meet one woman who was a keeper.
lollipopspot Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 You are losing your youth combined with as the women get older the good ones had their options picked up and they have been signed to long term contracts ie, married. But in real life, I was taught young that most girls near my league are taken, and if you want them, you have to steal them from their boyfriends. I don't understand this attitude - those "long term contracts" often break - it's not like all the good women were snatched up at 21, and it's not like they all wanted to be either - some had other things to do with their lives than get committed. "All the good ones are taken" when said by a male or female is just not true. 1
BlueIris Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 As much as I hate the phrase, it is what it is. Like I said, I did OLD for two years (on and off). It was a cesspool. During all that time, I didn't meet one woman who was a keeper. That's too bad. Generally, I found that Match.com was good for me. So did the young women and men I worked with. Sort by strict criteria and stick to your standards. If you still can't find people that you consider to be of your caliber, perhaps go to a specialty site such as Right Stuff Dating. I used it when I first started dating and have recommended it to young people who qualify. They've added a lot more schools to the list. It was good. Met lots of compatible people. My BF found me on a different niche site. While there is less traffic on niche sites, I think that on average the people on niche sties tended to be more self-aware and more serious about finding a compatible mate. Still, thinking so very dismissively of other people isn't appealing even to people you do consider of your league. 1
BluEyeL Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I had the exact opposite experience with OLD, especially match, which I feel is just a effing scammers nest of vipers. Absolutely no one who contacted me on match was a real person. They were scammers in Ghana. But I stand by what I say: money and time are equally valuable--time more so because one cannot get it back. I'd like to get the time back I wasted on match before I got hip to it being the nest of vipers it is. I believe you but I wonder why. I noticed significant differences in results when changing the profile. Also, you have to log in daily and run a search through profiles once a week for best results . One of my friends is getting married in December to a man she met on Match. My boyfriend's best friend is married to a woman he met on match and I am also hearing other second hand success stories. I'd look into what I can do to get better results online . If other people can, it means is possible. As for the op, I also think shooting out of your league is what it is. Sorry. Both men and women do that, they want someone pristine because that's what they think they are. But most people are imperfect and they keep getting more imperfections the older they get. 1
BlueIris Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 OP, I just saw on another thread (about your sleazebag friend lol) that you’re in your 50’s. So am I. I have an idea for you. Just before I got involved with my BF a new site had just started called “How About We?” Take a look at it. It’s different because you have to suggest a first date and man, oh, man, you can tell a lot about people by what they suggest. I did it for a little bit, before getting involved with my BF, and I really liked it. I picked by how much I liked someone’s date idea. Might be worth a shot. 1
RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 it's the bitter attitude so many of these men have plus the inflated sense of their own attractiveness. As a nice looking woman who can carry on a conversation, has a fulfilling career etc etc etc, I have similar amounts of attention offline and online. Men approach me a lot in real life and if the man is charming and polite and funny, then he has a good chance. It's simply not the case that meeting women is near to impossible if you really are an attractive functional man. The problem is that so many men aren't anywhere near as appealing as they think they are. And many of them have a noticeably bitter attitude towards women. 3
oberkeat Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 (edited) I don't understand this attitude - those "long term contracts" often break - it's not like all the good women were snatched up at 21, and it's not like they all wanted to be either - some had other things to do with their lives than get committed. "All the good ones are taken" when said by a male or female is just not true. I disagree with you, lollipopspot. You don't know how it is for us single guys. The kind of woman that men desire -- a good woman who is attractive, educated, employed, with no mental baggage, and single -- is extremely rare. These women do not stay single long, and they certainly don't need OLD to get dates. Most of them get snatched up by other guys pretty quickly. I meet high quality women who are around my age in real life all the time and they are always in long term relationships. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/533931-they-re-always-taken Edited October 16, 2015 by oberkeat
lollipopspot Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 The kind of woman that men desire -- a good woman who is attractive, educated, employed, with no mental baggage O.k., I don't even know anyone with no mental baggage. You must run in a better crowd than I do 5
fitnessfan365 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 The kind of woman that men desire -- a good woman who is attractive, educated, employed, with no mental baggage, and single -- is extremely rare. These women do not stay single long, and they certainly don't need OLD to get dates. Most of them get snatched up by other guys pretty quickly. I meet high quality women who are around my age in real life all the time and they are always in long term relationships. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/533931-they-re-always-taken This is a common misconception actually. As a personal trainer, I've worked with a ton of attractive women over the years. One thing they love to do is talk about their love life..or lack thereof. One of the main complaints is that men never approach them. This always either comes down to being intimidated/lack of confidence or assuming she's taken. So all of these women wind up on OLD. Also, here is some food for thought. The most common way for a single woman to reject a guy asking her out is "Sorry I have a boyfriend". Now I'm not saying that all these women you're meeting are really single. But at least some of them who claimed to be taken, were probably letting you down easy because they weren't interested. 1
Lovelorn00 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 You're right. It has changed quite a bit. I think I started using OLD back in 2009, and it has changed considerably. It was a lot easier, back then, to meet nice, genuine people who just wanted to find a decent relationship. Now, it's just a meat market for hook-ups. Pretty sad. 2
Oregon_Dude Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I don't find it that tough to get dates from OLD. Ask a quirky question. Get her response. Exchange a few messages, enough to get comfortable. Give her your number. She texts you, usually within two days. Set up date. Meet on date. From there, though, lies the problem. Women are convinced that chemistry must occur within an hour and a half, and be extremely palpable. Problem is, that's just not enough time to get to know if it's between you two. So, you get the friend text, even though they don't know you from Adam. If you make a move, you're creepy; if you don't, you're a p*ssy. Lose-lose in many of these situations. That's just my experience though. 1
BlueIris Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 This is a common misconception actually. As a personal trainer, I've worked with a ton of attractive women over the years. One thing they love to do is talk about their love life..or lack thereof. One of the main complaints is that men never approach them. This always either comes down to being intimidated/lack of confidence or assuming she's taken. So all of these women wind up on OLD. Also, here is some food for thought. The most common way for a single woman to reject a guy asking her out is "Sorry I have a boyfriend". Now I'm not saying that all these women you're meeting are really single. But at least some of them who claimed to be taken, were probably letting you down easy because they weren't interested. Very true- on all points. 1
Strength in Healing Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 (edited) Lol rose water ever heard of something called projection and reaction formation? Your attitude seems bitter from a neutral standpoint. But if you're confident enough to call out all those guys as having an inflated sense of attractiveness, then let us see if you're attractive as you think -- post a picture. Make it your avatar. Edited October 16, 2015 by Strength in Healing
RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 This is a common misconception actually. As a personal trainer, I've worked with a ton of attractive women over the years. One thing they love to do is talk about their love life..or lack thereof. One of the main complaints is that men never approach them. This always either comes down to being intimidated/lack of confidence or assuming she's taken. So all of these women wind up on OLD. Also, here is some food for thought. The most common way for a single woman to reject a guy asking her out is "Sorry I have a boyfriend". Now I'm not saying that all these women you're meeting are really single. But at least some of them who claimed to be taken, were probably letting you down easy because they weren't interested. This is so true and I do it myself. It's so much easier to just say 'sorry but I'm seeing someone' even if you're not, than to admit you simply don't like the guy
RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Lol rose water ever heard of something called projection and reaction formation? Your attitude seems bitter from a neutral standpoint. But if you're confident enough to call out all those guys as having an inflated sense of attractiveness, then let us see if you're attractive as you think -- post a picture. Make it your avatar. I've got nothing to be bitter about. It's not me who is on here starting threads about not being able to get a date. 1
Strength in Healing Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Your attacks were generalized. Your specific statements are about most men. Typically to call out an entire gender would fall under either misandry or misogyny. But you keep talking about you being attractive lol might as well show it off then for a minute?
mr_dave Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 If good looking 9 or 10 out of 10 guys are filling a 7/10 woman's inbox (Even though they just want to get laid with anyone half decent) how is the 7/10, compatible guy ever supposed to get a look in? I have got a few dates online, so I have yet to give up hope entirely, but I think a lot of womens' sights are skewed unattainably upwards by the amount of attention they receive.
Oregon_Dude Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I think a lot of womens' sights are skewed unattainably upwards by the amount of attention they receive.THIS is very well-said, and true. However, it's also human nature to keep pushing to envelope and try to get better and better things - even when the things you already have are perfectly fine. In essence, we are all GREEDY.
Strength in Healing Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 If good looking 9 or 10 out of 10 guys are filling a 7/10 woman's inbox (Even though they just want to get laid with anyone half decent) how is the 7/10, compatible guy ever supposed to get a look in? I have got a few dates online, so I have yet to give up hope entirely, but I think a lot of womens' sights are skewed unattainably upwards by the amount of attention they receive. I think your opener means a lot. And how you portray yourself. Confidence is powerful and not every girl will think a guy is a 9/10 or 10/10. Beauty is subjective, none of us are universally attractive. Plus, I've seen so many terrible-looking guys with gorgeous girls. I'm sure you have too. Guys' looks don't mean too much. I was with a girl for 4 years who didn't stop saying I looked good or stopped bragging to her friends. And she ended up leaving me for an overweight felon who was balding and 12 years older lmao looks means so little brother. So little. 1
RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Your attacks were generalized. Your specific statements are about most men. Typically to call out an entire gender would fall under either misandry or misogyny. But you keep talking about you being attractive lol might as well show it off then for a minute? I haven't posted any "attacks". My post begins "some men...." I wonder why you're taking my observations so personally. Perhaps some of it applies to you.
Author Otter2569 Posted October 17, 2015 Author Posted October 17, 2015 Someone mentioned the lack of replies and dealing with that rejection. For me its been just the opposite: replies (more than usual) and even initial contact by women, good flirty conversation, plans to meet then the DROP - something came up, headache, cant make it. Most have given me their numbers and we are texting. Why go through the motions? It just feels like a scam because its happened too many times. I just dont get it!
Recommended Posts