Otter2569 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Im back to OLD and man has it freaking changed: Contact by lots of pretty women - who always just drop off (were exchanging phone #'s, pics etc) , several dates - that almost always fall though and actual dates that completely suck. I have never struck out so much in my life. Everyone seems to god dammed fake!! Ive been using OLD for several years and I always kicked butt: met nice people, got lots of dates, always got a second date when I wanted it and had several long term relationships. OLD was very good to me - what the hell is going on? ps - I have several good pics of me and a very good profile that gets lots of compliments.
Toodaloo Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Swings and roundabouts Otter. Swings and roundabouts... It will change back again. These things come in waves.
Zippy2000 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 OLD has indeed changed. How? Well its now dating for the masses. In the good old dating days. It was for people who were serious and looking for relationships but after a while. Players, scammers and people who have no idea what dating etiquette is have now come on board. Its a sad thing for it to happen. OLD has become a let down due to them not filtering out the wrong people. As I grow older. I notice my messages get scarcer and now no longer in demand from the younger and more attractive males. Date with a thick skin and have no expectations is the best way forward. 4
Author Otter2569 Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 OLD is not for the weak. I've just noticed a serious change in the way things are working (or not working). I was told that there are a lot of fake profiles set up by the company to make it look like there are all kids of hot people on there - just what I was told on one my my crappy dates. Ive gone though phases where you get no replies or only get hits by ugly people but this times was the opposite - lots of contact, recurring messages & conversations, exchanging numbers, talking off of OLD pics etc then the drop out of the blue. Its happened several times - like its the new thing to do. What gets me is that THEY initiated contact in many cases. I just dont get it?!
joseb Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I guess I missed the "good days" of old. For me it's always been crap. If you can talk to people, then real life's the way to go 2
Strength in Healing Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I guess I missed the "good days" of old. For me it's always been crap. If you can talk to people, then real life's the way to go Shoot, not in Pennsylvania. I'm very social and confident, but every attractive girl has a boyfriend. Very rare one doesn't. To the OP, use a pay site. They had better ones last time I checked. Been a while tho but I bet it hasn't changed.
RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 The problem with some men who try OLD is that they are overestimating their attractiveness. I've encountered many men, including here on LS, who will talk about how good looking they are and then you see their photo and you're like I think men need to be more realistic about what they are offering. A man who is at best average looking and has a rather bitter "why are all these darn women ignoring me?" type of attitude is simply not attractive to quality women, particularly not online where she can get you gone with a convenient swipe of her phone. 4
road Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Im back to OLD and man has it freaking changed: Contact by lots of pretty women - who always just drop off (were exchanging phone #'s, pics etc) , several dates - that almost always fall though and actual dates that completely suck. I have never struck out so much in my life. Everyone seems to god dammed fake!! Ive been using OLD for several years and I always kicked butt: met nice people, got lots of dates, always got a second date when I wanted it and had several long term relationships. OLD was very good to me - what the hell is going on? ps - I have several good pics of me and a very good profile that gets lots of compliments. You are losing your youth combined with as the women get older the good ones had their options picked up and they have been signed to long term contracts ie, married. 1
insert_name Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 The problem with some men who try OLD is that they are overestimating their attractiveness. I've encountered many men, including here on LS, who will talk about how good looking they are and then you see their photo and you're like I think men need to be more realistic about what they are offering. A man who is at best average looking and has a rather bitter "why are all these darn women ignoring me?" type of attitude is simply not attractive to quality women, particularly not online where she can get you gone with a convenient swipe of her phone. It is exactly the same for the women. Men complain about no replies while the women complain about being pumped and dumped by guys who were never going to stick around because the girl was batting out of her league for one night only. Online dating is a wasteland for both genders although even more so for men as the whole no replies thing leads to feelings of being invisible and reduce already fragile self esteem to nothing. 1
Strength in Healing Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 It is exactly the same for the women. Men complain about no replies while the women complain about being pumped and dumped by guys who were never going to stick around because the girl was batting out of her league for one night only. Online dating is a wasteland for both genders although even more so for men as the whole no replies thing leads to feelings of being invisible and reduce already fragile self esteem to nothing. Lol very true. OLD gives women a false sense of confidence that will not translate into anything sustainable. Men actually have a lot less to lose in my opinion, but I don't have any self-esteem issues so my view may be skewed. 1
Toodaloo Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 OLD is a tool. It is not your parents arranging marriage for you or your mates hooking you up with someone. Like anything it will ebb and flow. I go through phases of nut jobs contacting me then I will have a phase of good potential matches. The people on OLD were always out there, its just how we meet them that changed. One mans rubbish is another mans gold remember so if they are not for you just move on. 1
RoseWater Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 It is exactly the same for the women. Men complain about no replies while the women complain about being pumped and dumped by guys who were never going to stick around because the girl was batting out of her league for one night only. Online dating is a wasteland for both genders although even more so for men as the whole no replies thing leads to feelings of being invisible and reduce already fragile self esteem to nothing. Every time I've met up with a guy from OLD he's wanted a relationship with me. I've been the one to do the dumping
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 OLD is not for the weak. I've just noticed a serious change in the way things are working (or not working). I was told that there are a lot of fake profiles set up by the company to make it look like there are all kids of hot people on there - just what I was told on one my my crappy dates. Ive gone though phases where you get no replies or only get hits by ugly people but this times was the opposite - lots of contact, recurring messages & conversations, exchanging numbers, talking off of OLD pics etc then the drop out of the blue. Its happened several times - like its the new thing to do. What gets me is that THEY initiated contact in many cases. I just dont get it?! This is actually very true. There have been numerous investigations and exposes done on this subject where they featured the dark side of OLD from a corporate level, including a documentary about a very popular site in the UK. It doesn't help that many OLD sites are owned by HUGE umbrella companies that own several dating sites where they pool and share customer data across the board. And if that wasn't enough to make you rethink OLD, the Ashley Madison debacle revealed, among many other things, that only few thousand out of MILLIONS of female profiles were in fact real and active. Like everyone said, it's a total crab shoot and a game of odds. It's also very one dimensional which makes it that much harder to sort through to find one person who seems even remotely compatible. Might as well buy a ticket in the lottery. I suspect the trend will turn back around where dating is once again an organic real life experience and where OLD is just a wasteland where people go for entertainment. I already see it happening. 3
kendahke Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 perhaps using a matchmaking service rather than a dating site might afford you better results.
insert_name Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Every time I've met up with a guy from OLD he's wanted a relationship with me. I've been the one to do the dumping I'm not surprised, guys don't have the same level of options on online dating so they will grasp at any opportunity rather than go home to an empty inbox. Take it from me, I've been there myself. When I was online dating it affected my perception of myself so much that I was wanting second dates off single mothers when if I am honest that is not what I am after at all! I just wanted some kind of reciprocity and interest so I could feel like I wasn't undateable. Thankfully since I got off OLD my esteem is much better. It is pretty insidious how it can get you down. I would not recommend it for men, I can understand why women would use it though- I think it makes good sense for them if they can sift through the (admittedly awful) dick pics. 5
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 perhaps using a matchmaking service rather than a dating site might afford you better results. Not necessarily. These types of services are nothing more than a money scam on a grander scale. They prey on innocent men and women blinded by their desire to find love and companionship offering them better and better results the more they "invest" in the service. These services can amount to literally THOUSANDS of dollars. If this is an option you're considering, do your research. 3
BlueIris Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Im back to OLD and man has it freaking changed: Contact by lots of pretty women - who always just drop off (were exchanging phone #'s, pics etc) , several dates - that almost always fall though and actual dates that completely suck. I have never struck out so much in my life. Everyone seems to god dammed fake!! Ive been using OLD for several years and I always kicked butt: met nice people, got lots of dates, always got a second date when I wanted it and had several long term relationships. OLD was very good to me - what the hell is going on? ps - I have several good pics of me and a very good profile that gets lots of compliments. Try not to think of it as striking out. Think of it as not even going to the ballpark yet, just pondering whether you're going to go and maybe play.
kendahke Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Not necessarily. These types of services are nothing more than a money scam on a grander scale. They prey on innocent men and women blinded by their desire to find love and companionship offering them better and better results the more they "invest" in the service. These services can amount to literally THOUSANDS of dollars. If this is an option you're considering, do your research. Money and time are both equally valuable commodities. Spinning one's wheels on OLD is just as costly as dropping $$$.
oberkeat Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I have very few good things to say about the two years I was doing online dating. I deleted my profile, and I will not be going back. It just didn't work for me. Sure, I was getting dates, but the women I met online were all horrendous. Overweight women, flakes, serial daters, women with mental baggage, sti's, you name it. It was also incredibly time consuming. It takes days of messaging just to get to a first meeting. I touched on this a bit here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/551589-why-do-i-keep-attracting-overweight-women
BluEyeL Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Money and time are both equally valuable commodities. Spinning one's wheels on OLD is just as costly as dropping $$$. Not so. I paid $6000 on a matchmaking service and they are truly scams. I barely got any dates for that amount of money. I'm ashamed I did that, I threw away that money for nothing. In turn, I found love on match.com after being there for 1.5 years and my BF and I have been together almost 1.5 years now and no problems in sight. Sure, I still paid, but I got countless of dates, several short relationships, and finally a LTR. No comparison on return. 2
oberkeat Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Shoot, not in Pennsylvania. I'm very social and confident, but every attractive girl has a boyfriend. Very rare one doesn't. . It really is a catch-22. OLD is full of horrible people, but if you approach women in real life, you find all the good ones are taken. It's very sad for us single guys. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Money and time are both equally valuable commodities. Spinning one's wheels on OLD is just as costly as dropping $$$. If you've got the $$$$$$ than go for it. Some people learn the hard way. 1
BlueIris Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 It really is a catch-22. OLD is full of horrible people, but if you approach women in real life, you find all the good ones are taken. It's very sad for us single guys. This might not be the best attitude to have toward other human beings. 1
kendahke Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Not so. I paid $6000 on a matchmaking service and they are truly scams. I barely got any dates for that amount of money. I'm ashamed I did that, I threw away that money for nothing. In turn, I found love on match.com after being there for 1.5 years and my BF and I have been together almost 1.5 years now and no problems in sight. Sure, I still paid, but I got countless of dates, several short relationships, and finally a LTR. No comparison on return. I had the exact opposite experience with OLD, especially match, which I feel is just a effing scammers nest of vipers. Absolutely no one who contacted me on match was a real person. They were scammers in Ghana. But I stand by what I say: money and time are equally valuable--time more so because one cannot get it back. I'd like to get the time back I wasted on match before I got hip to it being the nest of vipers it is.
Strength in Healing Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 This might not be the best attitude to have toward other human beings. Lmao it is a bit dark. Match and eharmony has good people. But in real life, I was taught young that most girls near my league are taken, and if you want them, you have to steal them from their boyfriends. No joke. For ethical reasons I've avoided this, though. Even when girls with boyfriends flirt and make it easy, no matter how hot they are, I can't seem to will myself to wreck their relationship. Even though logically the relationship must already be wrecked if they're trying to cheat. Plus i go by the saying "if they did it with you they'd do it to you" 1
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